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Old 10-10-2012, 05:07 PM   #81
BjarnedeGraaf
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Originally Posted by Mistress_Ibanez
Abusing children through violence does not work.


A chair is not a good place for a time out though, too casual. I would put them in a hallway or on a step on the stairs. Nothing is keeping them there but obligation. Every time they move, you put them back and restart the timer. So it'll take longer than the time you were meant to give them, but they will get fed up before you do and just serve out the punishment. Then next time or the time after that they'll remember how painful and drawn out moving away from time out is and they'll just do it first time around.


How is it "abusing" if you give them back exactly what they gave you?

Edit: also TS is not her guardian/parent so you don't really have the power to give her a time-out. Simply because you're a family member and older.
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Last edited by BjarnedeGraaf : 10-10-2012 at 05:09 PM.
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:10 PM   #82
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
How is it "abusing" if you give them back exactly what they gave you?



Because they are a child and you are an adult. You can't pick on someone who is physically and mentally weaker than you when they don't have the theory of mind to understand the consequence of their actions.
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:44 PM   #83
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:48 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
A time-out... seriously? what's keeping her on the seat? especially since TS' little brat is already spoiled, saying shit like "here, sit on this chair for 10 minutes" is NEVER going to work.

I'd give her back what she gave me? she's rude? I'll be rude. She hits me? I'll slap the bitch as "hard" as she hit me. kid or not.
I don't believe in a soft "talking"approach when a good old spanking works just as good.
I won't strike first ofcourse. but I'll give her back her own behavior, and then ask her how she felt about me doing that. after she says what she felt (probably that she didn't like that) I'd tell her I didn't like her doing that shit to me etiher, so I returned the favor so she could experience how I felt about it.
Do that enough times for it to sink in, and it's all good in the end.

Actually it works extremely well. I don't think you've ever watched a child before.

Last edited by WCPhils : 10-10-2012 at 05:49 PM.
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:46 PM   #85
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Originally Posted by WCPhils
Actually it works extremely well. I don't think you've ever watched a child before.


actually I've seen lots of kids where a time out just didnt do shit.

I for one will never be walked all over by a child.
I'd raise my kids the way my parents raised me. I turned out to be a respectful young man, so my parents must have done something right, and they never used time outs on me.
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:48 PM   #86
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
I for one will never be walked all over by a child.


Sounds mature.

Reminds me of the episode in Seinfeld when Kramer refuse to apologise to a monkey after they've had a "fight" with the argument 'he started it'.
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:50 PM   #87
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
actually I've seen lots of kids where a time out just didnt do shit.

That's nice. Your personal experiences don't mean it never works.

Quote:
I for one will never be walked all over by a child.
I'd raise my kids the way my parents raised me. I turned out to be a respectful young man, so my parents must have done something right, and they never used time outs on me.

Bully for you! I'm sure they punished you somehow at times though. At the least, they taught you to be respectful, huh?
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:37 PM   #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress_Ibanez
Abusing children through violence does not work.



Physical discipline worked for my brother and I

I don't agree with child abuse, but sometimes (like 1 time in particular in my case) physical discipline is required to set the boundaries. This is something however I won't be subjecting my future child to
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:32 AM   #89
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Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
That's nice. Your personal experiences don't mean it never works.


Bully for you! I'm sure they punished you somehow at times though. At the least, they taught you to be respectful, huh?


They punished me by using "violence". it never hurt, but it got the messege across.
They never took things away or use "time-outs"
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:47 AM   #90
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Originally Posted by beau05
Physical discipline worked for my brother and I


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Old 10-11-2012, 02:51 AM   #91
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Originally Posted by beau05
Physical discipline worked for my brother and I

I don't agree with child abuse, but sometimes (like 1 time in particular in my case) physical discipline is required to set the boundaries. This is something however I won't be subjecting my future child to

You got the jandal, huh?
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:18 AM   #92
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I was already playing with her at the time She constantly wants to play.




The rude comments are the kinds of things you'd expect from a toddler who still lacks social cues. Like pointing out a pregnant woman in public and saying "LOOK AT THAT FAT LADY LOL". (Yes, she did that) To me she'll just say my clothes are ugly or something like that. That I can let slide, but the bossiness makes me want to chuck her down the stairs. She orders me to do things with her, mostly. She argued with me for about 20 minutes about playing video games when I couldn't. I said maybe in 15 minutes, and she kept trying to bargain with me for a shorter wait time. So I said I wouldn't play with her at all and she still wouldn't shut the hell up. She doesn't take no for an answer.


Oh well then in that case just fist her.



Should shut her up for a few hours
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Old 10-11-2012, 06:44 AM   #93
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You got the jandal, huh?



Haha and then some!
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Old 10-11-2012, 08:48 AM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress_Ibanez
Abusing children through violence does not work.


A chair is not a good place for a time out though, too casual. I would put them in a hallway or on a step on the stairs. Nothing is keeping them there but obligation. Every time they move, you put them back and restart the timer. So it'll take longer than the time you were meant to give them, but they will get fed up before you do and just serve out the punishment. Then next time or the time after that they'll remember how painful and drawn out moving away from time out is and they'll just do it first time around.


Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.

Last edited by brownshirt1 : 10-11-2012 at 08:51 AM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 08:56 AM   #95
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Old 10-11-2012, 10:56 AM   #96
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
They punished me by using "violence". it never hurt, but it got the messege across.
They never took things away or use "time-outs"

Spanking =/= violence. Nor does an open-hand across the ears or mouth. Violence implies the intent to hurt. Minor corporal punishment =/= violence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.

If they start doing that, then you ignore them. You keep saying, "I'm adding more time periodically". But you ignore them until they get that their fit isn't moving you at all. The more you ignore a child throwing a fit, the more that child realizes that throwing a fit is not effective.

Last edited by crazysam23_Atax : 10-11-2012 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:38 PM   #97
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Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.


The time out zone is meant to be somewhere "safe" so nowhere with things they can throw or break. An entrance hall or the stairs is a good place for this, nowhere on the sofa or in the living room or anything.


Let them scream and cry. They are being punished, it isn't supposed to be pleasant. It's supposed to be a learning experience, and if it makes them scream and cry they won't want to be made to feel like that again. Each time they move, you put them back. As an adult with patience and intelligence you know that the child is going to back down before you are.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:41 PM   #98
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Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.


You're concerned that the child your punishing is screaming and crying?
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:33 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Spanking =/= violence. Nor does an open-hand across the ears or mouth. Violence implies the intent to hurt. Minor corporal punishment =/= violence.


If they start doing that, then you ignore them. You keep saying, "I'm adding more time periodically". But you ignore them until they get that their fit isn't moving you at all. The more you ignore a child throwing a fit, the more that child realizes that throwing a fit is not effective.


U contradict yourself when you quote what I said and then say it's violence.

you say: "the intent to hurt =/= Violence"
I say: "it never hurt, but it got the message across."
they never intended it to hurt, they inteded to make sure i'd never do it again.
You never hit a child just because you want it to hurt (unless your the stereotype deadbeat alcoholic (step)father)
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:34 PM   #100
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Originally Posted by Mistress_Ibanez
The time out zone is meant to be somewhere "safe" so nowhere with things they can throw or break. An entrance hall or the stairs is a good place for this, nowhere on the sofa or in the living room or anything.


Let them scream and cry. They are being punished, it isn't supposed to be pleasant. It's supposed to be a learning experience, and if it makes them scream and cry they won't want to be made to feel like that again. Each time they move, you put them back. As an adult with patience and intelligence you know that the child is going to back down before you are.


most people have things in every room, even a hallway (coats, paintings, umbrella's)
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