Erra93

This right here, this is a song I finished sort of recently. I did have the outro ready for probably over a year before I finished up all the parts that precede it though.

I'm quite happy with what I came up with, and as always, I don't listen to songs for inspirations very much, I try to come up with them through guitar pro or on the guitar without trying to force a riff-style, I hope that sort of shows.

In the recorded version, one of the guitars is glitched in the beginning of the glitch drum part, which sounds pretty coolio. I think.

Here's a recorded version:


And here's my Facebook page if you like what you hear:
http://www.facebook.com/AuroraAtNight

I will crit back, but I can't say for sure when I will have time. Also, while I always try my best when critting, I'm not so good at expressing myself, so I'm sorry in advance if my crits suck. :|

Attached Files

There's always money in the banana stand.gp5 (83.0 KB, 190 views)

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Proud Of The Crows | Home | There's always money in the banana stand | Mentalcore song

BloodReverence

Pretty sweet stuff dude, I really dig it. I think there needs to be some more upbeat drums in a couple parts just to kinda spice things up. It kinda keeps the whole half-time feel all the way through. ****ing love the recorded interlude though, it's so sick.

Erra93

Thanks a lot mate! Any suggestion on which parts of the song I should spice up?
Glad to hear! I was really satisfied with the interlude so that's cool!

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Proud Of The Crows | Home | There's always money in the banana stand | Mentalcore song

BloodReverence

I think you should speed up the drums on the verse part man. Maybe write some vocal lines on it too and get someone to sing over it. That'd be so sick.

Would you mine critting my song?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1554269

blake1221

Personally, I think you played it pretty safe, which caused it to drag on a bit. You revolved the entire song around the minor sixth and the fourth (4 - 0 on the low string). With little deviation, it grew stagnant. The writing was solid underneath that, the riffs were enjoyable that sailed underneath those chords, but like I said, you played it all safe. It sounded like it was meant for a Parkway Drive softer song or something.

I would either shorten it, or diversify it more. Shit, maybe even both.

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Erra93

Vocals will definitely be done, once I can sing them myself, so that'll be a while haha



I definitely played it safe, this is also supposed to be a vocal-driven song, but sadly I haven't learned to sing/scream yet, so until then it will be sort of draggy, yes :|

However, I do like it the way it is now (or rather, how it will be with vocals), so I don't think I'll change the structure of the song. I'm mostly concerned about minor details that would help improve the song

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Proud Of The Crows | Home | There's always money in the banana stand | Mentalcore song

BoDC

i think its terrible

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Erra93

I appreciate your honesty and will agree to disagree

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Proud Of The Crows | Home | There's always money in the banana stand | Mentalcore song

Macabre_Turtle

I actually really enjoyed this. It's not a style I typically listen to, because it does kind of a play it safe, but it's very well written none the less. It feels like it's meant to be one softer song in an album of mostly heavier material. Playing it safe isn't always a bad thing, and vocals will definitely bring this to life. The glitch stuff is cool too. The guitar seems to be a little bit out of tune in the clean section though. Probably an intonation issue?

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