10-29-2012, 10:53 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Not who I used to be/blues or grunge?
Hello community, I am new here and I've been reading some of this beautifully writing so I thought I might give it a shot.
I'm not who I used to be, But I know I'm not me I'm not who I used to be And I don't know where I'm going I remember when I used to think About what I wanted to be When I'd grown up It makes me so sick I could throw up I'll just live on the streets Carry my house on my back My life in sheets Oh I know I'm not me Maybe I'd get famous Or work pornography But let's face it, It's just a dream What the hell do I want to be? Why can't I figure out me? I'm not who I used to be,* But I know, oh I know I'm not me. |
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10-30-2012, 02:24 PM
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#2 |
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freighttrain
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: England
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Its quite good. Comes across as more of a poem than a song, its hard to hear music behind it although adding a rhyming scheme may help with this. May also benefit from combining the short verses into 2 or 3 longer sections.
All in all a good effort but needs a little work. Keep it up 
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