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Old 11-01-2012, 10:09 PM   #1
Aki100
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I want to start a band but I'm too shy :(

I want to start a band at my high school. I'm a freshman and I just moved here a couple months ago, so I don't really know many people...

I'm also really shy... How should I overcome this?

PS I play guitar and keyboard and I sing. But I want to play guitar in this band.

Also, I live in the country and as I said, I'm a freshman in high school, which means everything's really far apart and I can't drive. That's why I want to make a band at my high school.

EDIT: Except I'm not shy on stage...Just at school...And also, I can't play any metal...Plus it's a single floor building. Actually it's not even a building. No roof access.

@AlanHB: Easy for you to say

Last edited by Aki100 : 11-01-2012 at 10:47 PM.
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:28 PM   #2
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Get over it.
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:29 PM   #3
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bring your amp in the morning to the roof really early

max everything wait for kids to start arriving

stand on the edge of the balcony and play some hardcore viking metal everyone will gather around and start cheering afterwards your the most popular guy in school, everyone will want to join your band

but really if your school has clubs, Ive never been to HS join a one thats cenetered around msuic and start from there, and if your really shy stick to the keyboard cause if you ever play live you dont want to be upfront on a guitar lol ask all you classmates if they can play anything, everyoen else is shy and wanting to make friends at this point probably if you have something in common easy instant friend thing lol
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:05 PM   #4
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Casually ask people if they know anyone who plays bass, drums, guitar, keys, etc.
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:46 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Vin71
bring your amp in the morning to the roof really early

max everything wait for kids to start arriving

stand on the edge of the balcony and play some hardcore viking metal everyone will gather around and start cheering afterwards your the most popular guy in school, everyone will want to join your band



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Old 11-02-2012, 12:20 AM   #6
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Take an acoustic to school. Casually go off alone and sit under a tree and gently strum away singing songs about how hard it is to find people to make a band. "Emo style"

If America is anything like the films we see set in schools then you'll be famous next week.
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Old 11-02-2012, 12:36 AM   #7
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You act like that isn't a tried and true idea
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Old 11-02-2012, 12:46 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aki100

@AlanHB: Easy for you to say



yeah, very easy for the guy with several bands that's been doing this longer than you've been alive and knows what he's talking about to give you simple advice.
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:23 AM   #9
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Seems like a lot of hating going on here. Listen here's some real advice, make some friends and later on ask if they play some instruments chances are they do or know someone who does. Also high school kids probably won't be that serious about it so don't expect you and jimmy joe to be the next nirvana. But don't get me wrong it's good practice for both learning how to talk to people ( a valuable skill in any industry and life) and good practice as a musician.
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:27 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hail
yeah, very easy for the guy with several bands that's been doing this longer than you've been alive and knows what he's talking about to give you simple advice.


You call that advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aki100
I'm also really shy... How should I overcome this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanHB
Get over it.


Not much good advice there if you ask me. Entire books have been written about overcoming shyness, becoming a more outgoing person.

There are plenty of good helpful suggestions that could be made. "Get over it" just isn't one of them, no matter how many bands he is in.
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:32 AM   #11
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IF you want real advice, which I should have given earlier then hears mine.

Flevi's got it right.

Talk to people, drop a few hints here and there.

I have a few friends that play instruments and to be totally honest, they're pretty stuck up about it because they're already in bands. And it does just seem like i'm the only one who isn't in a band right now.

I'm not too fussed about playing with other people, I don't like to blow my own horn around others. So I don't make effort to jam or anything (doubt anyone would anyways)

For you though, you're younger (if you're a freshman I think?) and you said you need to get to know people. The good thing here is that people don't know you yet, they will eventually talk to you sometime if you don't do it first.

Might be hard convincing others to play with you though. All I know is that when I was in school, everyone who was studying music would play together quite a bit. Unfortunately I am crap at music theory, and now people don't believe that I play *sigh*
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:37 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Culler Amps
You call that advice?




Not much good advice there if you ask me. Entire books have been written about overcoming shyness, becoming a more outgoing person.

There are plenty of good helpful suggestions that could be made. "Get over it" just isn't one of them, no matter how many bands he is in.

disagree

I was one of the shyest people at my whole damn school until one of my friends suggested we start a band. I accepted - reluctantly - and I haven't felt shy since the moment I walked off the stage after our second gig.

I got over it, the key is just to put yourself out there/throw yourself in the deep end (and make sure you know how to play guitar well first ).
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:40 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Culler Amps
You call that advice?

Not much good advice there if you ask me. Entire books have been written about overcoming shyness, becoming a more outgoing person.

There are plenty of good helpful suggestions that could be made. "Get over it" just isn't one of them, no matter how many bands he is in.


do you know how you overcome shyness

you get over it

it might not sell books, but it's a pretty effective plan of action. you can expound upon it as much as you wish to isolate and ultimately face the problem. "what do i get over? how do i approach this? what steps am i doing wrong, how do i feel when in x and y situation versus a situation where i am comfortable?"

but nobody's gonna sit and babysit someone. if it affects other aspects of your life, there are professional psychologists and none of them are on a tablature site for socially awkward teenager to rely upon.

i can post plenty of random images on people who are shy, i can describe personal experiences as someone who used to suffer from anxiety attacks, i could webmd shyness for crying out loud and it wouldn't do TS any better than slapping him in the face and saying "dude all you have to do is talk to people, it's not that hard"

it's not like he's 35 years old and reclusive with deep-set emotional problems that stop him from succeeding. he's 14-15 years old, in 9th grade in high school. it's not rocket science to talk to people at your own school.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:15 AM   #14
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The reason there are books on shyness is because people are stupid and will spend money on anything.

Get over it, at least to the point where you can conduct yourself better.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:15 AM   #15
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you have two choices, TS. you can listen to the most experienced gigging musician in this thread (AlanHB), and get over it...

...or you can listen to all of these other people who want to get philosophical about the matter. i don't care how many books have been written on the topic - you get over it. that's how it works. those books sell because there area large amount of people like those in this thread who "just can't believe it's that simple", so they feel the need to get into psychology of it, and, ultimately, very rarely do results ever see the light of day.

so who will you listen to, i wonder? the person that's done it? or the people that have opinions on it? if you have that "easy for you to say" attitude, then that's step one - get rid of that. you think like that, you're never going to be worth jack shit. attitude is everything in life, and it may be why you're coming to a website with a concern that you're too shy to start a band. when, in reality, if you REALLY wanted to start a band (and i mean really burned to start a band), you wouldn't give a **** whether you were shy or not, and you'd just get it done. if you want to make the excuse, then why complain when it's stopping you? you made the choice.

there's an ancient chinese proverb - those who believe something cannot be done should not get in the way of someone doing it.

get out there or don't. whichever choice you make will dictate the results you get.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:20 AM   #16
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there's an ancient chinese proverb

And there's another in my sig.

actually it's Turkish
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:22 AM   #17
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Coming from someone who was extremely shy during my youth and throughout school, I can assure you, that telling me to get over it, or slapping me in the face would have done nothing to cure my shyness.

As a matter of fact nothing ever did until I got older, and realized all the opportunities I missed out on because of my problem.

Thinking on all those missed opportunities, I literally forced myself to start being a more outgoing person.

In a way I guess you could say "I got over it".

But getting "over it" was the outcome, the goal...... Not the solution.

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Old 11-02-2012, 02:22 AM   #18
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This guy, Benny Lewis, writes a blog that I like;
http://www.fluentin3months.com/stop-being-shy/
http://www.fluentin3months.com/scar...eet-new-people/
He is very direct, taking the approach of just telling you to stop worrying. There are other bloggers who take a gentler approach, I think there may be a blog by a guy who talkes about building confidence linked to on that page (unless I'm mistaken and it is linked to elsewhere on Benny Lewis' site).
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:29 AM   #19
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And there's another in my sig.

actually it's Turkish


it's also been randomly attributed to george bernard shaw, among others...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Culler Amps
Coming from someone who was extremely shy during my youth and throughout school, I can assure you, that telling me to get over it, or slapping me in the face would have done nothing to cure my shyness.

As a matter of fact nothing ever did until I got older, and realized all the opportunities I missed out on because of my problem.

Thinking on all those missed opportunities, I literally forced myself to start being a more outgoing person.

In a way I guess you could say "I got over it".

But getting "over it" was the outcome, the goal...... Not the solution.


don't make the distinction between getting over it as a goal and getting over it as a process...ever think that may be why it took you so long?

like i said. attitude determines everything.

you're telling me it doesn't work, but you then proceed to tell me that you actually did it. it's not getting over it "in a way", it's getting over it. period. you forced yourself to become more outgoing.

or you guys can continue to tell me that it doesn't work -- and i'm not about to sit here and argue with you. i tried to help TS out, but i have nothing to gain from sitting here to convince him. if those who disagree with this line of thought still disagree, that's fine -- i just hope you all have the patience to cut a tree down with a spoon.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:37 AM   #20
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http://oi52.tinypic.com/25hzmzc.jpg

it's a beta male thing but it applies to real life as well indirectly i guess, i just like plugging it
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