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Old 11-07-2012, 09:48 PM   #1
An Ideal Revenge baby!
nunu's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
Whitest Boy Alive influenced song (acoustic, drums, bass, vocals) C4C

I have not made songs in a long time. Today's snow day inspired me, along with a book I read this month, called the alchemist. If you know whitest boy alive..I've been listening to them a lot this month...

Listen at this link

The Alchemist

Where there's a will, theres a way
just take your chances
If this is what you want, then who am I
to stop it?
You're yet to strike gold, you're growing old,
the middle of adventure, is it the perfect place to start?

I should have shared my intentions
with you.
I, should have told you how I felt...
all along, maybe.
Things would be different, If I?

tried, to make things right
between us. If I...
told you things, that you were looking for
were here, the whole time
the whole time
the things that you were looking for, were here
the whole time, the whole time.

The things that you were looking for.


Last edited by nunu : 11-09-2012 at 11:04 AM.
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:33 PM   #2
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Cheers for the comment on my guitar solo!

This sounds great... Has a unique vibe. Kind of Eastern sounding. I like the desert photo you have picked too!

Good work!
Relaxing guitar music - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYlH-d-bRYA
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:50 PM   #3
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This is pretty dope man! thanks for sending it to my thread! Ill be sure to keep checking up on your work! It looks like you worked really hard on the lyrics! I have such a hard time making verses flow without relying on a rhyme! Good stuff bud!
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Old 11-08-2012, 01:11 AM   #4
An Ideal Revenge baby!
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Location: New York
Thanks guys! astern? Haha really? I don't think anything is eastern except the picture :P And tim, I feel like rhyming doesn't really matter, as you can see my sentences barely rhymed..I would def be stuck otherwise.

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Old 11-08-2012, 01:32 AM   #5
aaron aardvark
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That was really different. Sometimes the guitars sounded out of tune to me. I liked some of the guitar riffs. Vocals are pretty good. Interesting song. Please review my music at this link:

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Old 11-09-2012, 10:59 AM   #6
An Ideal Revenge baby!
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
Thanks for the crit. I was going for a little dissonance in some of the key parts like the break because it gives a sort of off balance different feel to the song. I don't think it necessarily sounds very out of tune though. Can anyone confirm?

P.S. I got it up on youtube now so that it will be easier for everyone to hear. I'll edit my original post.

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Old 11-09-2012, 04:42 PM   #7
damien wren
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the out of tuneness doesn't even bother me really. kind of reminds me of the same thing Modest Mouse does, it gives it a really raw vibe, and in this case kind of a drone sound. i also kind of hear tension/resolution from out of tuneness to in tune (and vice-versa). but maybe that's just me. also, i'd agree that it sounds eastern sounding, mixed with an indie sound.

i particularly like the drums, they were well written. lots of ghost notes and accents in the right places, it gives the song a good groove. and i'm a sucker for fast beats and so yeah really different from a lot of music out there, i think you found your own sound pretty well. your voice works really well for the song too.

Last edited by Dregen : 11-09-2012 at 04:48 PM.
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Old 11-10-2012, 04:04 PM   #8
An Ideal Revenge baby!
nunu's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
Dregen, wow thanks so much for the indepth crit. Yes I def tried to use it to get the mix right between tension and resolution. I think that its clear particularly at the ending of the song when the chords come in. They are panned to the right with some of the notes in the chord being dissnonant, while the single note lead picking on the right is very much in tune.

And yea I love upbeat drums! lol my voice isn't pretty suitable for most things, so If I can make it work, I'm more than happy...

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Old 11-10-2012, 05:25 PM   #9
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Mississauga Ontario Canada
Good stuff, was digging the dissonance. Yeah it didn't kind of feel a bit out of tune but that gave it a more raw feel.The drums really made it for me, really set the tempo. Liked the creativity here, unconventional structure and sound.

If you could check out my new song id really appreciate it, thanks.
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Old 11-10-2012, 09:20 PM   #10
Wake up, the time is now.
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Hey man typing as I listen, I think this song has its own unique vibe going, its cool i like it! Although I would lower all the acoustics a bit, or maybe higher the vocals. Very cool lyrics, indie inspired but has its own thing going on. Overall pretty good man keep at it, maybe try remixing and eqing stuff a bit more
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