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Old 11-11-2012, 09:50 AM   #21
CrimsonBizzare
spelt bizarre incorrectly
 
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Great Britain
Quote:
Originally Posted by timothy95
I refer to mine as John Thomas, it started after I heard Bear Grylls say it about his.

John Thomas is quite obviously the best name for penis.

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Old 11-11-2012, 09:52 AM   #22
PowerEngine
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justin bieber
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Old 11-11-2012, 09:52 AM   #23
RetroGunslinger
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland
Helmet Harry, purple headed warrior, john thomas, wee man, chuckwagon, pocket python.

Only masturbation ones I've got are Burp The Worm and Jerk the Gherkin
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My Gear:
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Old 11-11-2012, 09:52 AM   #24
AtaBorMan
UG's reclusive wanker
 
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: A bookshop just off Russel Square
Quote:
Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
Burp The Worm and Jerk the Gherkin


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Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

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Originally Posted by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

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If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
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Old 11-11-2012, 09:53 AM   #25
Hydra150
not so cowardly
 
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Location: Scotland
frustrated janitor


okay i just made that one up
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But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
I'm not gonna post pics of my hot mom.
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Old 11-11-2012, 09:54 AM   #26
BeefWellington
UG's Tastiest Dish
 
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Location: Essex, UK
Im just gonna dump all the ones I can think, regardless of whether they'e already been said or are obvious.

Penis:
Disco stick
Pork sword
One-eyed monster
Trouser snake
Meat pole
Willy


Masturbation:
Five-knuckle shuffle
Toss the salad
Spank the monkey

Pissing:
Siphon the python
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None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.

I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
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Old 11-11-2012, 09:54 AM   #27
Hydra150
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Location: Scotland
bash the bishop
spank the monkey
chug
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But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
I'm not gonna post pics of my hot mom.
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:36 AM   #28
adamgur96
Not caring no more
 
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: On a Small Ugly Rock In Space, Surrounded By Over 7,000,000,000 Ignorant Cunts And Retąrds....... Status: If I Just Posted This Then I Probably Have Too Much Spare Time.....
Mayonnaise pipe
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:41 AM   #29
Hydra150
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Location: Scotland
tunnel inspector
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But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
I'm not gonna post pics of my hot mom.
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:44 AM   #30
ProtoCosmos
UG's Chicken Kicker
 
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Strawberry ice cream cone
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GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:45 AM   #31
Krieger91
I Sold The World
 
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Also, in the words of one Chad Kroeger, "Johnson".
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:48 AM   #32
mystical_1
**** it
 
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tomato man
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Originally Posted by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


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Old 11-11-2012, 11:00 AM   #33
apmaman
pure mento basturt
 
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Location: Dundee Scotland
The Destroyer
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PSN ID: ArranP
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:10 AM   #34
TheRampantWhale
My avatar is too fast
 
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Location: Newcastle, England
I have ****stick and wankshaft for penis, and choking the chicken for masturbating.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:24 AM   #35
treborillusion
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Location: The London Borough of Croydon, GB
****
Dick
Johnson
NIN
Tool

Edit, what?

We can't say ****? that's ****ing ridculous; What if I was a chicken farmer?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.

Last edited by treborillusion : 11-11-2012 at 11:25 AM.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:27 AM   #36
Stugg334
Bristolian
 
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Location: Bristol, UK
Womb ferret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:37 AM   #37
DisarmGoliath
Disarms Goliaths
 
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Birmingham, UK
Penis: Yoghurt-slinger, pink oboe, pork sword, clunge plunger, nightstick, womb raider.


Wanking: jacking the beanstalk, choking the one-eyed milkman, squeezing the juicy flute, jerkin' the gherkin.
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Hey, look. Sigs are back.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:38 AM   #38
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
 
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 23/F/the backwoods
If your penis is an odd number of inches (or cm for eurofags, communists, and terrorists) like 3 or 11, you could refer to it but that odd number golf club. Like you could call it your 7 wood or whatever is appropriate for you.
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Originally Posted by lolmnt
That's right I have a four inch penis.


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write 3 page long posts with the wrong opinions until people who don't actually read here or know anything about music theory promote you

worked for 20T



Now you have no excuse...
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:40 AM   #39
Hydra150
not so cowardly
 
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Location: Scotland
Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
If your penis is an odd number of inches (or cm for eurofags, communists, and terrorists) like 3 or 11, you could refer to it but that odd number golf club. Like you could call it your 7 wood or whatever is appropriate for you.

Is 12" an odd number or even?



__________________
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
I'm not gonna post pics of my hot mom.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:43 AM   #40
adamgur96
Not caring no more
 
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: On a Small Ugly Rock In Space, Surrounded By Over 7,000,000,000 Ignorant Cunts And Retąrds....... Status: If I Just Posted This Then I Probably Have Too Much Spare Time.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydra150
Is 12" an odd number or even?




You got a 12" inch dick?

I didn't know you were that small....


Try 43"
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