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Old 11-11-2012, 08:15 PM   #1
diseasedtrees
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Penumbra

Just lyrics for an acoustic song my band wrote. Any type of criticism would be greatly appreciated. I'll be more than happy to c4c. Thanks for your time!

Who tied the strings that pulled us all taut?
we're bound together in a sunspot
yelling outside, climbing in trees
we build ourselves tall but collapse with ease
come this winter come this winter there’ll be one less
untie the knot, he knows what’s best

and we can light up
this penumbra

right the wrongs left right from old friends
the strongest of wills give into amends
come this winter, come this winter we’ll fall asleep
I’ll wake you all if you awaken me

and we can light up
this penumbra
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Old 11-12-2012, 08:35 AM   #2
GregMurray7
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Better than most things in the songwriting forum man. I like the first two lines especially.
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