Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 03-18-2010, 04:22 AM   #1
NGD1313
left & leaving
 
NGD1313's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair

damned to antarctic postcards;
turning token leaps of faith into
a jigsaw of bones pieced not unlike
a ghost all over the parquet of
the bedroom floor. i had a sentence
once left hanging on my teeth,
(it sounded not unlike 'i'm leaving.')
it promised to turn the dashboard into
a dining room and all wake-ups into
parade floats of morning, night and noon.
what little left undiscovered of mice and plans
(and far more yet left unsoiled by man)
would feel like it dissolved into pensacola coastline,
when i fucked up my soul on dextromethorphan,
dramamine, jim beam, and klonopin
(on poorer nights, a fourth of river-water gin)
maybe i should've listened to more tom waits records
to figure out how all weary men cope with deliverance,
but it hurts too much to know it and keep my mouth shut.

maybe i'm just waiting to be destroyed.

Last edited by NGD1313 : 03-18-2010 at 04:43 AM.
NGD1313 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 04:28 AM   #2
voodoochild23
Registered User
 
voodoochild23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
seems like you're trying too hard to include clever references and words no one's heard of

i mean its very poetic and all, but i did cringe everytime it got a bit too clever

maybe thats just me
voodoochild23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 04:45 AM   #3
Eskil Rask
what is this i don't even
 
Eskil Rask's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Denmark
i think its awesome. very magic and dynamic wording! +1
__________________
Ibanez RGT6EXFX -> Ibanez TS9 -> Korg Pitchblack -> Peavey 5150 II head -> Mesa Rectifier 2x12 cab
Eskil Rask is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 05:01 AM   #4
RatmN'Roses
running in carnival time
 
RatmN'Roses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
like the lyrics but please give credit to Tom for the title
I'm a big T.W. fan btw hope you didnt take what i said the wrong way.
__________________
Send me off to bed forevermore.
RatmN'Roses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 09:27 PM   #5
Nilchii
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
I clicked the link for the Tom Waits reference, but I stopped reading for the density of your rhetoric.
__________________
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Nilchii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 09:58 PM   #6
NGD1313
left & leaving
 
NGD1313's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by voodoochild23
seems like you're trying too hard to include clever references and words no one's heard of

i mean its very poetic and all, but i did cringe everytime it got a bit too clever

maybe thats just me


too clever? is that a complaint now? and what words have you never heard of?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nilchii
I clicked the link for the Tom Waits reference, but I stopped reading for the density of your rhetoric.


is this really that dense? i'm not questioning your opinion at all, but this just didn't strike me as especially more dense than anything else i write, so i'm genuinely curious as to how this is being read as such.

thanks for the words everyone.
NGD1313 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2010, 10:36 PM   #7
Nilchii
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
I have no immediate, easy access to the meaning of "damned to antarctic postcards," let alone the second clause or anything subsequent to it.

I am sure that you mean something by it. I am equally sure that (as I sit here typing, giving your poetry the time, attention, and focus that all poetry deserves) I am developing an understanding of my own that I did not allow myself to develop on a cursory glance.

But having read the poem and given it more attention, I still find myself unable to push aside the obfuscation and verbiage to find the kernel of meaning, the heart, the soul, the need to read this. Maybe I need to listen to more Tom Waits.

Sleep might help. I'll see if tomorrow I am any more compelled or delighted.

peace
__________________
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Nilchii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2010, 05:19 AM   #8
Nilchii
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Okay, I did in fact sleep on it. As I lay in bed, I pondered "damned to antarctic postcards," and this is how my thought process went, or something like it:

"Damned to antarctic postcards?" What is he talking about? Why not capitalize? Why do people DO this to themselves?
Okay, okay. Damned to antarctic postcards. WTF is an antarctic postcard?
Antarctic is a reference to a cold and lonely place, so we're probably dealing with a metaphor.
Postcards. Pithy, brief communications from far away.
Cold and lonely. Communications.
Okay, he's alone and sending out a communication, I bet he's talking about this poem.
Why "damned?" Damned is when you're being punished for your own actions.
Okay, okay. I think I've got it.
"I'm cold and lonely by choice. I hope this poem reaches someone."

Is that something like what you mean? Because, if not, I've gone through a lot of mental gymnastics to arrive at the wrong idea. And if so? I've gone through a lot of mental gymnastics to arrive at the right idea.

It is true that a poem should make one stop and consider it. A great poem will make you want to do mental gymnastics to figure out what's going on in the poem.

I've done a lot of work to try to suss out what the first line means. I'm going to take a break before I try to tackle the second, let alone the rest of it.

peace
__________________
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Nilchii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2010, 06:59 AM   #9
NGD1313
left & leaving
 
NGD1313's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nilchii
Okay, I did in fact sleep on it. As I lay in bed, I pondered "damned to antarctic postcards," and this is how my thought process went, or something like it:

"Damned to antarctic postcards?" What is he talking about? Why not capitalize? Why do people DO this to themselves?
Okay, okay. Damned to antarctic postcards. WTF is an antarctic postcard?
Antarctic is a reference to a cold and lonely place, so we're probably dealing with a metaphor.
Postcards. Pithy, brief communications from far away.
Cold and lonely. Communications.
Okay, he's alone and sending out a communication, I bet he's talking about this poem.
Why "damned?" Damned is when you're being punished for your own actions.
Okay, okay. I think I've got it.
"I'm cold and lonely by choice. I hope this poem reaches someone."

Is that something like what you mean? Because, if not, I've gone through a lot of mental gymnastics to arrive at the wrong idea. And if so? I've gone through a lot of mental gymnastics to arrive at the right idea.

It is true that a poem should make one stop and consider it. A great poem will make you want to do mental gymnastics to figure out what's going on in the poem.

I've done a lot of work to try to suss out what the first line means. I'm going to take a break before I try to tackle the second, let alone the rest of it.

peace


you're more or less right, it's about isolation, antarctica obviously represents the vast and cold and lonesome and a postcard is a piece of the picturesque yet resolutely asserts distance and separation, since you never send your next door neighbor a postcard from your house. being damned to such a thing means you're trapped in that isolation almost as if a punishment. this whole poem is more or less a sulk-fest on how awful it is to be stuck in a life of disappointment, loneliness, and futility, where leaps of faith leave you with shattered bones (because your faith was unrewarded) and you can't bring yourself to leave so you can only imagine how glorious it would be. instead turning to drowning yourself in various pharmaceuticals and liquor and tom waits records trying to find a sense of purpose or wash out the need for one.

now obviously if deconstruction is this difficult i've failed because it's my fault if i can't convey that message more concisely, but to be honest this was slapped together in about 5 minutes after listening to rain dogs on repeat for a couple hours and i don't really consider it an opus so i encourage you to not strain yourself anymore, and we'll chalk this up as a failure to learn from. thank you so much for your insight and genuine interest though, it means the world.
NGD1313 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2010, 07:51 AM   #10
Nilchii
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
__________________
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Nilchii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2012, 09:33 PM   #11
Milo.
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
f--- that. i love this poem
Milo. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2012, 04:23 PM   #12
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
 
vintage x metal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
beautifully written, it's a common scene from you. I've been thinking about it lately - your work shows a certain strain of masculine vulnerability that's really admirable, but there's a touch of darkness to all of it, a salivation for escape, a kind of smirk, a slyness. I'd love to see you gritty. I think you can work with more than the vulnerable. I think you're ready to adorn a bit of a shit-eating grin. you already do it; we need it to cope, don't we? so show me sometime.
__________________
GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY



Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to alaskan_ninja
vintage x metal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2012, 03:49 AM   #13
lillianyang
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
great, agree with your idea!wow, that sounds cool!
lillianyang is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:00 AM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.