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Old 11-17-2012, 11:33 AM   #81
mystical_1
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I would interpret "habitual" use of anything to avoid reality (self medication) a warning sign of something deeper. Depression, stress, abuse, neglect, etc.

Parents who enable this behavior are avoiding the real issues that their kids might be having rather than being a real parent and figuring it out. Habitual use of anything to bandaid a problem has a big chance to fail badly and do more harm then good, over time.

The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:39 PM   #82
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:40 PM   #83
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My parents' were overly strict with me, apart from school things, I was rarely allowed out with friends.

My brother on the other hand basically got to do what he wanted.
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:44 PM   #84
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I plan to smoke weed with my kids all the time. I've got absolutely nothing against it.
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:49 PM   #85
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I think it depends on the kids. My parents were never overly strict with me or my sister, and we turned out fine because we're both naturally well mannered. With my youngest sister on the other hand, they've taken the same approach and it has failed miserably.

"Cool" parents can be fine, but only if their kids are unbelievably good kids to begin with.
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:58 PM   #86
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I plan to smoke weed with my kids all the time. I've got absolutely nothing against it.


yeah, you think you'll do it, but you probably won't.
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Old 11-17-2012, 01:00 PM   #87
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I plan to smoke weed with my kids all the time. I've got absolutely nothing against it.


And when they get kicked out of school for selling it to other children I expect you'll accept all responsibility for how your irresponsible parenting lead to that, yeah?
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Old 11-17-2012, 01:14 PM   #88
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My parents never really did that for me but then again, i never asked. When i think about it, they've been extremely lenient with me in practically every respect. I guess i turned out alright in terms of not becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict but it has more to do with my own reasoning than how i was raised.

Personally, i'd be very willing to turn a blind eye to drugs and alcohol assuming it isn't out of control but i wouldn't be comfortable as an accomplice to it. I wouldn't buy them that shit, besides, illegally getting alcohol themselves is such a classic teen experience, i'd hate to deprive them of it.

I don't smoke weed much, but theres no chance i would with my kids. In fact, i would never try and be 'best friends' with my kid like that, to me its desperate and really weird. Doing drugs or drinking with kids just seems weird to me. That kinda stuff has the essence of rebellion about it so doing it with your primary authority figures just feels wrong. I don't find those 'cool' parents very cool at all tbh.
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Old 11-17-2012, 01:49 PM   #89
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My dad started buying me beer (to drink in the house) when I was 16, which is completely normal, or at least it was where I lived
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:00 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by rock.freak667
My parents' were overly strict with me, apart from school things, I was rarely allowed out with friends.

My brother on the other hand basically got to do what he wanted.

This is what you tell your parents when they say no, "I'm the boss, and I do what I want." and then you walk out.
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:18 PM   #91
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Originally Posted by metal4eva_22
When I was 16 my mom let me have a drink or two when she was drinking with the rest of the family. My mom is really close with her side of the family and we would often go out to my aunt's house for parties. When I was younger I would hang around with my cousins and all the other kids there, but when I got older the rest of the family would offer me alcohol despite only being in my teens. I think it was a good experience. It removed all the mystery around alcohol. And in highschool, where kids often brag about drinking to make themselves look super cool, I would just laugh at them.

"You had 22 beers last night? HAHAHAHAHA. My aunt let me try a glass of wine."

I can see how this would have worked out for you, metal4eva.

OT: When you're under-age you can always find someone to supply booze. It never was my parents but if you know a guy whose 21, it's really pretty easy. And when you turn 18 and go off to college it's so easy you start to forget it's supposed to be illegal.
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:22 PM   #92
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Being from the UK the legal age over here is only 18, which i think is about right, but all drinking requires a a sensible individual, i have never touched the stuff myself despite being 20. In America i would consider giving it to an 18 year old especially due to the fact American alcohol is like tap water compared to what we have over here.
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:30 PM   #93
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:39 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josh999x
In America i would consider giving it to an 18 year old especially due to the fact American alcohol is like tap water compared to what we have over here.


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Old 11-17-2012, 02:41 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by josh999x
Being from the UK the legal age over here is only 18, which i think is about right, but all drinking requires a a sensible individual, i have never touched the stuff myself despite being 20. In America i would consider giving it to an 18 year old especially due to the fact American alcohol is like tap water compared to what we have over here.


What? You've never tried alcohol in Britain, yet alone America, but you can compare the two?
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:51 PM   #96
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My parents never let me drink or smoke around them, but they knew if I wanted to go out and do it, I would. So they didn't really care what I did as long as I kept my grades up.
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Old 11-17-2012, 02:53 PM   #97
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Native Americans have always had a certain way of raising their children. usually extended family is a lot closer and children are often raised by relatives. aunts can be second moms, uncles can fill father roles, cousins are like siblings. Most tribes have also taken a passive stance as far as children making mistakes (drug abuse in this case) the philosophy is that children learn from making mistakes and if they dont learn, they must not have learned their lesson and must make more mistakes. of course with that translated to a modern society and in relation to drug abuse, there is a lot more underage drinking and drug abuse. i remember these 11 year old kids got busted for breathing coolant out of A/C units behind houses because one of their friends died from it. it also results in a lot of long term drug abuse as well (though i dont think thats the main contributing factor).
as far as my own daughter goes i don't plan to hide anything from her and will tell her everything about alcohol and drugs so, if she does try to experiment in the future, she will know what she's getting into. i will of course do what i can to prevent her from trying any drugs in the first place, though i realize she will probably try it anyway. the only thing i can do is educate her and make sure i am there for her when she needs my help.
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Old 11-17-2012, 03:15 PM   #98
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I really don't care. My parents did it for me.
Being 20 and having to have your parents supply your booze is absolutely hilarious though. Well done America.

Being 17 and not being able to drive a car is hilarious. Well done UK.

Nah, but our alcohol laws are ridiculous.
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Old 11-17-2012, 03:35 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by Metallicuh
This is what you tell your parents when they say no, "I'm the boss, and I do what I want." and then you walk out.



that would have probably worked if I did that now as I have a job and money, otherwise, I would be told to leave and never return.
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Old 11-17-2012, 03:38 PM   #100
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"cool" parents are annoying and weird.

between my former friend's mom talking casually with me about abusing Ambien and smoking "bones" and my one friend's ex-girlfriend's parents being weirdos and hosting underage drinking parties, they're not really cool so much as irresponsible and lame.
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