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Old 11-17-2012, 10:54 PM   #1
geetarguy13
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I'm going to be straightforward: i'm farting like crazy

i've always wondered if i was lactose intolerant or something, so i've always avoided dairy products. however i saw that yogurt was on sale, and so i bought a box of granola cereal and mixed them together, good lord i have tasted heaven.

however within 12 hours my digestive system began responding with vigor. i can't stop farting. and they smell horrendous.

does anyone else have this problem with yogurt? or maybe it's the granola? i don't have any pain or diarrhea or anything, just horrible smelly farts. since i usually don't have this problem most people haven't been suspecting me. i went on a 7 mile run (living history farms race) and i farted going up the hills (it was actually kind of fun).

i was getting in the car to go to the race, i farted outside the car. once we got in, everyone said that it smelled like fart in the car. so everyone blamed lizzy, (she's known to fart often), and said that it magically stayed in the car since last time she was driving. i think that fart might have followed me into the car. i didn't know that was possible. But anyhow:

please reply with info about yogurt causing farts, fun things you can do while having really smelly farts, any fart stories, or anything else you can think of to comment that's fart-related.
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Old 11-17-2012, 10:56 PM   #2
JackWhiteIsButts
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This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.
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Old 11-17-2012, 10:57 PM   #3
macaroni
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Yeah i think you might be lactose intolerant. Or had too much protein.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:00 PM   #4
Bladez22
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My best friend was like that, he was a fat **** and would fart like mad all day long. It got kind of annoying but could be hilarious with the timing of some of them

If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:01 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladez22

If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached


HA
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:05 PM   #6
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Pop some Beano, bro.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:07 PM   #7
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Buttplug?
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:08 PM   #8
Jako215
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:10 PM   #9
JackWhiteIsButts
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Originally Posted by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.

I think it was this.

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Old 11-17-2012, 11:11 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Dem sperm cells was high, bro.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:12 PM   #11
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^Thanks
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:15 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Jako215
^Thanks

You're quite welcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ali.guitarkid7
Dem sperm cells was high, bro.

They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:25 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?



SHAMELESS
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:31 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.

Their life was short, but interesting.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:32 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Did that feel amazing
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:35 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintsofNowhere
SHAMELESS

A minty fresh scrotum should be the number one desired effect of taking a shower. Nothing says clean like cold air and tingly balls.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:38 PM   #17
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You'll also get the same effect from having toothpaste on your balls.

I brush my teeth in the shower, and have had toothpaste on my balls as a result. I don't have some weird toothpaste on balls fetish.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:46 PM   #18
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Go on a crop-dusting mission at a $.99 store.Drop bombs near fat people and quickly walk away,then enjoy the dirty looks people give them.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:46 PM   #19
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I fart like mad whenever I eat these chips I bought down at my local Grocery Depot. They be bbq sweet potato chips, and they were due last august, but they taste good. Make me fart though.
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:54 PM   #20
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I felt I should comment on my own experience with ungodly gases. I'm pretty much 100% sure I've narrowed it down to smoking marijuana. Yep, I don't know why it is, but smoking herb seems to constipate me and produce nauseous farts. Crazy.
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