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Old 11-18-2012, 04:10 PM   #1
Obsceneairwaves
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If you were jesus

What would be your first order of business?





I think i'd turn water into beer and everything else into pizza.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:11 PM   #2
Pagan_Poetry
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I'd tell everybody how cross I was.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:12 PM   #3
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I'd endorse Scientology.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:13 PM   #4
StewieSwan
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Apologize
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:14 PM   #5
LostLegion
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Get a shave, get a haircut and then get a job helping the homeless whilst not telling anybody I'm Jesus.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:14 PM   #6
SuperKid
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:15 PM   #7
Bob_Sacamano
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I would start having mad gay sex and turn into a woman so I can have lesbian sex.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:16 PM   #8
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Tell everyone Allah is waiting for them.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
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I'd tell everybody how cross I was.

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Old 11-18-2012, 04:17 PM   #10
necrosis1193
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Dear John Lennon: I am, in fact, bigger than you. Five inches bigger, to be exact.

Revive John Lennon so I can make him well aware of it personally.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:18 PM   #11
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I'd move to the Bible Belt and be all

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Old 11-18-2012, 04:18 PM   #12
jjfeu662
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I would strike down Bieber.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:19 PM   #13
digman50
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Ban Kirk Hammett from using any wah.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:21 PM   #14
Obsceneairwaves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostLegion
Get a shave, get a haircut and then get a job helping the homeless whilst not telling anybody I'm Jesus.




I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, But you're the gayest jesus ever.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:21 PM   #15
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fap
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:22 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Obsceneairwaves
I think i'd turn water into beer and everything else into pizza.

You'd turn everything that isn't water into pizza??? That's sounds horrible. We'd constantly be slipping around in a gooey marinara-mozzarella mess. We'd have to use pepperoni for currency and everything would start to rot in a few days.

Something tells me you didn't think this through, TS.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:24 PM   #17
IRISH_PUNK13
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I would harvest the fruits/veggies that you privileged bastards are always eating!
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:24 PM   #18
Obsceneairwaves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snipelfritz
You'd turn everything that isn't water into pizza??? That's sounds horrible. We'd constantly be slipping around in a gooey marinara-mozzarella mess. We'd have to use pepperoni for currency and everything would start to rot in a few days.

Something tells me you didn't think this through, TS.



why would it rot? I'm jesus


we would be like smurfs, but with beer and pizza! I don't see how this could be bad!
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:26 PM   #19
snipelfritz
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how is that in any way like the smurfs?

Is Satan supposed to be like Gargamel or something?
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:26 PM   #20
Minkaro
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I'd probably go and mow somebody's lawn, like most people called Jesus do these days.
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