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Old 11-23-2012, 11:39 AM   #1
nincompoop
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Hello Pit, I need some advice.


I'm putting myself out there, so here goes.


I'm 22-years-old, living at home without a job or a car, and I'm a virgin. I've had a few relationships, none of which lasted for very long. I've kissed and hugged many chicks, and have no problems talking to them. However, taking it to that "next level" always seems to be a problem for me.

Let's try this--imagine you're me. You're living at home, you're 22, you're a virgin with very little experience with the opposite sex.

What do you do to drastically turn your life around? I've heard so many stories of people in way worse situations than me totally turning things around and making their lives really great. I'm quite desperate and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to turn things around.


inb4 hooker

tl;dr 22-year-old virgin with no car or job living at home. What now?
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:41 AM   #2
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Slutty chick?
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:46 AM   #3
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Slutty chick?


Basically, just do it. If you want something, go for it and don't ask for permission (as in don't wait for the chick to make the moves).
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:48 AM   #4
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Get yourself out there bro. Get down a bar. Speak to anyone you see. ZING.

Simple words, but it isn't much more complicated that that.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:49 AM   #5
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I love that your avatar is LD. Makes me think about the season with the 10th anniversary gift when I read your thread.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:50 AM   #6
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This is what you need.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:51 AM   #7
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Just be glad you're heterosexual. I probably won't have a chance with most of the girls that I like right off the bat. Plus most lesbians I know are far too butch/annoying so I have no interest in the ones that I'd have a chance with to begin with. I guess being asexual alleviates the problem to some extent, but from a romantic point of view I still have the same problem.

Actually, I feel like a heterosexual female would be far more likely to engage in sexual activity with someone of the same sex than to be romantically involved. Being trans of course also complicates things, since some homosexual females wouldn't get involved with an MtF, but some heterosexual females that wouldn't consider a cissexual female might.

I suppose the fact that I'm still presenting myself as male in real life also changes up the situation, since perhaps some of the girls that know me prior to transitioning would be more willing to be romantically involved with me than if they didn't get to know me until after transitioning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if you think your romantic and sexual lives are in a tough spot, mine are far more complicated, and you should be lucky that you're not in my position.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:52 AM   #8
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I would've thought the 'no car or job living at home' is a bigger deal than not getting laid, but if it isn't The Relationship Thread could probably help you best.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:53 AM   #9
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Don't constantly think about it, it'll only put more pressure on yourself.

Take it in small steps in the beginning, start with something simple like working out more, eating better and getting proper sleep, it will boost your confidence no matter what your current physical condition is. Apply to every single place that offers any form of employment, McDonalds is still money. Save your money up while you can, when you do leave home it will be so much harder to save any of your money so take advantage of the situation and put back as much as possible.

With getting your dick wet just don't overthink shit, let it happen naturally.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
Just be glad you're heterosexual. I probably won't have a chance with most of the girls that I like right off the bat. Plus most lesbians I know are far too butch/annoying so I have no interest in the ones that I'd have a chance with to begin with. I guess being asexual alleviates the problem to some extent, but from a romantic point of view I still have the same problem.

Actually, I feel like a heterosexual female would be far more likely to engage in sexual activity with someone of the same sex than to be romantically involved. Being trans of course also complicates things, since some homosexual females wouldn't get involved with an MtF, but some heterosexual females that wouldn't consider a cissexual female might.

I suppose the fact that I'm still presenting myself as male in real life also changes up the situation, since perhaps some of the girls that know me prior to transitioning would be more willing to be romantically involved with me than if they didn't get to know me until after transitioning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if you think your romantic and sexual lives are in a tough spot, mine are far more complicated, and you should be lucky that you're not in my position.


So, you've changed sex? I'm really sorry if it offends you or something but this is a matter that feel very interested in. What made you want to change what you were in the first place? If you don't want to answer and want to call me awful, bad names, that's cool too
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:58 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theguitarist
I would've thought the 'no car or job living at home' is a bigger deal than not getting laid, but if it isn't The Relationship Thread could probably help you best.


I think with a little confidence boost may help the determination to get up and change the important things. Not just applying it to getting laid (although, that would help) but just generally feeling better about yourself and shit could make put him on the right path.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:58 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
So, you've changed sex? I'm really sorry if it offends you or something but this is a matter that feel very interested in. What made you want to change what you were in the first place? If you don't want to answer and want to call me awful, bad names, that's cool too


She did say MtF in her post.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:00 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a_7_x
She did say MtF in her post.


and?
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:07 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
So, you've changed sex? I'm really sorry if it offends you or something but this is a matter that feel very interested in. What made you want to change what you were in the first place? If you don't want to answer and want to call me awful, bad names, that's cool too


Just thought I'd point out she already mentioned that.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:10 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
So, you've changed sex? I'm really sorry if it offends you or something but this is a matter that feel very interested in. What made you want to change what you were in the first place? If you don't want to answer and want to call me awful, bad names, that's cool too


No, not yet. I was male assigned at birth (MAAB), but psychologically and emotionally identify as female. I haven't actually gone through any parts of transitioning yet. Besides actually coming out and going to therapy, there are a number of different parts, but some of the main ones are just presenting yourself as the opposite sex (dressing like a girl, wearing making, using a different name, acting more stereotypically feminine, etc), hormonal replacement therapy, various forms of cosmetic surgery (breast augmentation, hair removal, etc), and genital surgery.

The first of those two I plan on doing fairly soon, definitely either during this winter break or else during the summer break. For cosmetic surgery, hair removal is probably a good idea at some point, but I probably won't do that yet. For genital surgery, I like girls, so I don't really see a reason to mess around down there. Plus if worse comes to worse, I could always do shemale porn. XD
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:11 PM   #16
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Just get looking fr jobs.

Job = money for car.
Job = meeting new people.

People includes girls.
People also includes new social circles that will include girls.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:16 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whoomit
Just get looking fr jobs.

Job = money for car.
Job = meeting new people.

People includes girls.
People also includes new social circles that will include girls.


So true. My older brother was in my shoes until he got a car.


Thanks for the support, I appreciate the maturity in the responses.

It's just... as each day passes, I find myself getting really depressed about this. I have big dreams and aspirations, and these facts about my life really make me feel bad. I try looking for jobs a lot, but I just never have any luck with that.

I know so many people who are having sex/have great relationships that are like 17-25 and it just makes me feel an overwhelming sense of dread. It's so hard to take this...

I just feel like by the time rolls around where things are getting hot and heavy either a) I'll tell her I'm a virgin and that will turn her off or b) I don't tell her and I'm absolute garbage in the sack and I make a complete ass of myself.





One avenue I've considered is college. I've actually applied to a college to live on a dorm, and I figure that would be a great way to meet girls. But let me ask you, Pit--would it be weird for someone my age to live in a college dorm? Would girls be put off by it?

Last edited by nincompoop : 11-23-2012 at 12:19 PM.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:29 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nincompoop
Hello Pit, I need some advice.


I'm putting myself out there, so here goes.


I'm 22-years-old, living at home without a job or a car, and I'm a virgin. I've had a few relationships, none of which lasted for very long. I've kissed and hugged many chicks, and have no problems talking to them. However, taking it to that "next level" always seems to be a problem for me.

Let's try this--imagine you're me. You're living at home, you're 22, you're a virgin with very little experience with the opposite sex.

What do you do to drastically turn your life around? I've heard so many stories of people in way worse situations than me totally turning things around and making their lives really great. I'm quite desperate and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to turn things around.


inb4 hooker

tl;dr 22-year-old virgin with no car or job living at home. What now?



The word "change" starts with "you". Confidence is your best friend. Get a job (shit, get two), save up and get a car. Once you do that, the rest will fall into place.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:41 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simsimius
don't ask for permission

This always works.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:46 PM   #20
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Start with the job and the others will fall into place.
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