K Dizzle

New song of mine. Got one of inspiration bursts today and wrote and recorded this in about 2 hours lol. I know the recording could be better, but I had to stop as people were sleeping. I'm just looking for input on the song itself.

Any feedback or constructive criticism greatly appreciated.

Thanks



http://soundcloud.com/aranea-1/setting-sail-mp3

__________________

mxrider139

Okay, this is exactly what I would do, you don't need to listen. Firstly its hard to hear the chorus cause there is no hit. So what I would do is add like a oooooohhhh oohhhh, something over the top to fill/bring that out. Drums would really help a lot. but we both know that, Even like a finger snap as snare and/or clap or recording a bass kick by hitting the wall and recording it would really help a lot... Im not gonna go in to mixing except your bass is wayy too loud, yeah its running the show, but it hurts my ears. musically its really good, verse chorus verses chorus bridge chorus made it a real song, unlike random shit everywhere and people wanna hear how amazing they are at making songs. voice was really good too, wasn't expecting that. FINALLY and most importantly LYRICS.
You suffer from what I used to do, and that is always trying to come up with something to say. Sometimes less really is more and it doesn't need to be this life changing song. I said why it was hard to hear the chorus begin cause you sang right through, and by the time you got 3/4 way through the song, Your voice got boring unfortunately. For example. " but I tried to make it happen, yeah I tried to find a way but there is something holding me down, something I can't expain."
What about this...

v / v / v / v v / v / v / v / v / v / v v
I, Tried to make it happen, I, tried to find a way, my dried up days are holding me
/ v / v / v / v
down, its hard to leave or stay. (so...)

/ are accented
v are not
/ v / v / v /
Mary had a little lamb

something, or just, or can't explain. are worse than cliches. What are you trying to say, that's just frustrating. who's gonna listen to your song?

The song was great, Write often, and enjoy it.