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Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 AM   #1
whoomit
 
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What's Mary short for?

She's got no legs.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 AM   #2
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Oh you!




















actually lol'd
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 AM   #3
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I cut them off and ate them. Poor Mary-Anne.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:31 AM   #4
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I'm naked atm.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:35 AM   #5
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Mary Sue
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:36 AM   #6
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Did you know that Jack is "short" for John?
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:42 AM   #7
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I was up all night last night trying to figure out where the sun goes when it sets, but then it dawned on me.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:21 PM   #8
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Well, she was born "Maryanne Susy Q", but she disliked the sound of that and now goes by just "Mary".
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:28 PM   #9
MadClownDisease
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What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs.



Makes more sense as ET is actually short for something and is also short.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:29 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan_5893
Did you know that Jack is "short" for John?


So the entirety of Lost is a lie?
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:54 PM   #11
triglide5
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Mary,Mary.
Quite Contrary.
Trim that pussy.
It's to Damned hairy.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:19 PM   #12
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hahaha
there were these two war vets out in the woods hunting for deer in the ol midwest.
one guy says ****!
****N RATTLER JUST BIT ME ON THE HEAD OF MY DICK!
other vet says ILL BE BACK IMA GO INTO TOWN FO SOME HELP YOU LAY DOWN HERE
dude gets to town n runs in a pharmacy
YALL GOT ANYTHING FOR A SNAKEBITE?
-well, theres no anti venom in stock, so you'll have to make an X incision on the wound and suck out the venom and then you'll be cured-
dude runs back to his buddy
dude says CAN YA HELP ME MAN?
.....................
dude says
.....................
YOU GONNA DIE
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:28 PM   #13
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Because she's on her knees blowing me.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:30 PM   #14
Trowzaa
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My grandad loves telling me this joke every time I see him.

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Cos she's got no arms.

And I pushed her.


Thanks for that gramps.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:58 PM   #15
triglide5
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Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it by the heater,
Every time it took a piss,
It burned his little peter.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:04 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trowzaa
My grandad loves telling me this joke every time I see him.

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Cos she's got no arms.

And I pushed her.


Thanks for that gramps.

This guy gets it. Missing limbs are funny!
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:06 PM   #17
Todd Hart
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That's not a reason for her being short, that's a reason as to why she's short.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:10 PM   #18
triglide5
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If she has no legs does she leave snail tracks on the hardwood floors?
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:31 PM   #19
Whiteboy_az
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A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign that reads:

"If you can make my donkey laugh, you get $100. $5 to play"

Man walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Okay, I'll play." He hands the bartender $5 and takes the donkey out back. When he comes back in, the donkey is laughing hysterically. He gets $100 from the bartender and leaves.

The next day, same man walking down the same street sees a sign outside the same bar, but this time it reads:

"If you can make my donkey cry, you get $200. $5 to play"

Man walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Okay, I'll play." He hands the bartender $5 and takes the donkey out back. When he comes back in, the donkey is crying uncontrollably. He goes to collect the money when the bartender says to him "Damn! You made my donkey both laugh and cry over the last two days, how did you do it?"

The man responds "Yesterday I told him my penis was bigger than his and today I showed him."
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:34 PM   #20
Harvey Swick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadClownDisease
What's ET short for?


Extra Testicle
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