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Old 12-10-2012, 12:42 PM   #1
edmodo23
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Guys, I need help

So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good. Our bassist is fat with no stage presence, and he is a dick to everyone, not to mention he sucks at bass and plays a right handed bass even though he's left handed. We want to kick him out but he is our source for free food, so we have decided to keep him. He also gets up to "take a dump" in the middle of practice sessions, but we have recently realized he was lying, after our vocalist walked in on him masturbating in my bathroom.

We also have a rhythm guitarist with a cheep $150 guitar who tries to do crabcore, and his timing is so bad he always throws the band off. Not to mention during breakdowns he tries to solo off and it sucks major ass. He always gets mad at me because the riffs I write are too hard for him, so much to the point that he just cases his guitar and goes in the other room and complains about me.

I really think our band will go somewhere, but I really want to get through these problems, I want us to get along. Any advice?
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:44 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good. Our bassist is fat with no stage presence, and he is a dick to everyone, not to mention he sucks at bass and plays a right handed bass even though he's left handed. We want to kick him out but he is our source for free food, so we have decided to keep him. He also gets up to "take a dump" in the middle of practice sessions, but we have recently realized he was lying, after our vocalist walked in on him masturbating in my bathroom.









but nah, if you really have this much to complain about, what makes you think you can go somewhere as a band? How long have you been a band so far?
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Last edited by Metasponge : 12-10-2012 at 12:46 PM.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:46 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Metasponge







but nah, if you really have this much to complain about, what makes you think you can go somewhere as a band? How long have you been a band so far?

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Old 12-10-2012, 12:48 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by edmodo23
I really think our band will go somewhere

I don't.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:49 PM   #5
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It'll be fine, kindergarten is always hard.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:49 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good... I really think our band will go somewhere


You aren't very good, but you think your band will go somewhere?

But yeah, if you are having problems like that, kick those guys to the curb. There is clearly a conflict in terms of musical style, ability, and personality, and with these you will never be able to get anything done, even just for fun.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:49 PM   #7
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Wait, so the bassist is fat and goes of for a wank during practice and doesn't shut the door, and you accept this as long as he gives you free food? What kind of freak band are you in? You're like a food prostitute.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:50 PM   #8
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Bravo I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, although wtf is crabcore? Does everyone walk around the stage sideways?
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:51 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by adamgur96
It'll be fine, kindergarten is always hard.

I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:52 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by RetroGunslinger
Bravo I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, although wtf is crabcore? Does everyone walk around the stage sideways?

Its when you squat down during a breakdown and bang your head like crazy
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:52 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating




Quit that shit!

And stop cleaning semen after your fat friend.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:52 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating


And "[you] really think [your] band will go somewhere?"
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:53 PM   #13
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Non convincing troll is non convincing.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating


He sounds like a total wanker.




















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Old 12-10-2012, 12:56 PM   #15
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I think you need to film your practice sessions. So we can understand better...
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:57 PM   #16
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Ok the semen thing went too far. He's a troll.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:59 PM   #17
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hahahahaha
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:01 PM   #18
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If you keep going like you guys are you will definitely get signed. I heard that Simple Plan, Good Charlotte and One Direction all had the same problems and then poof they got signed. So don't worry about your fat masturbating bassist or your guitar player who can't play guitar, EMI will make it happen!
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:03 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edmodo23
I really think our band will go somewhere, but I really want to get through these problems, I want us to get along. Any advice?

Here's my advice. Leave your band. Stay friends with them if you want. But do your own project. Become a solo artists. You can set up a home studio for less than $500. Then, if you wish, put up classifieds and ask people to play riffs that are complicated enough to show their skill but not too complex to play in an impromptu audition.
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Last edited by crazysam23_Atax : 12-10-2012 at 01:05 PM.
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:09 PM   #20
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I think you need to film your practice sessions. So we can understand better...



I love that idea, but don`t film the wanking bit. We know how that shit goes down.
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