Originally Posted by Monolith295

Tobysaurus is one sexy man.

Originally Posted by Kensai

I think I love you Tobysaurus!

Originally Posted by CFH82

God damn, you've given me a boner Toby!

Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax

I'd advise you to ALWAYS drive on the right side of the road. Just saying.

Originally Posted by nightwalker903

or left side in our case :P

Originally Posted by morespace!!

Is Joshua Garcia an admin?

Originally Posted by Nelsean

At heart yes, but in his balls, he is a god.

Originally Posted by theogonia777

first, dress appropriately. a World War I era RAF uniform is your best bet, but if you are unable to locate one, a tiger suit (preferably made with an authentic taxidermied Maltese Siberian tiger pelt) is acceptable. make sure you have at least something on your head (this will be important later). whatever you do, do not wear a horned Viking helmet. this would be historically inaccurate, and could therefore offend the instructor on the off chance that they are of Norse decent.

the morning of the test, you want to make sure you are in proper form. load up on as many stimulants as possible. caffeine, theobromine, nicotine, amphetamine, MDMA, cocaine, etc, are all good choices. don't eat or drink anything, or else you'll probably have to stop to pee or poop in the middle of the test, or else have to pee or poop and hold it and make that uncomfortable face the whole time. no alcohol or marijuana before the test. those will just slow you down.

while waiting at the DMV for the tester, be as loud and impatient as possible, as DMV customs dictate. keep in mind that all DMV workers are morons, but are unaware of it. they have the power to call security to come and throw you into the moat with the crocodiles, so do not upset them (too much). everyone else is fair game. do whatever it takes to get to the front of the line. the sooner you get out of there, the sooner you can start the test.

don't suck up to the tester. no one likes a kiss ass. instead, be sure to make off handed remarks about them whenever possible. if for whatever reason you feel possessed to compliment them, backhanded compliments are the only option. if the driving tester is a woman, she is less likely to be a good driver herself, and therefore your driving abilities will look that much better by default. also women testers are more likely to perform fellatio on you during the test.

drive as fast as you can drive without crashing. this shows that you are confident in your abilities to successfully succeed. if you come to a red light, you have two options: wait or run through it. both of these options are WRONG! avoid red lights at all cost. drive as fast as you can to get through that yellow light. again, driving fast shows confidence and not crashing at high speeds shows you've got mad skills. DO NOT race other drivers, even if you make eye contact. you will most likely lose. if you lose, you will look like a weenie. that makes you less likely to pass.

step on the brakes as little as possible. the brakes are for sissies. only break for large animals such as moose (elk), bison (wisent), or bears (bears). hitting one of these animals will likely kill you, and in the off chance that you get away, the animals family will come for revenge. brake for fireman and military veterans, but only because they deserve mad props for being cool guys and because they doesn't afraid of anything. brake for Frogger, because he just wants to get across the damn street already. other than that, use the brakes only as a last resort.

at the end of the test, your tester will most likely try to sex you up. don't refuse, no matter how unattractive they are. turning them down will hurt their feelings, and they already have low self esteem. this will result in them failing you. guaranteed.

if you followed my advice to the letter, than congratulations! you have just earned your driver's license! you will receive it in the mail within the next 4-6 months, or whenever the DMV workers finally manage to get it to you. it should eventually come, so be patient.

if you did not follow my advice, you will likely fail. you dumbass! why didn't you listen!? no matter, there is still hope. go in and wait in line again for 7 hours, at which point you will probably be redirected to a different line. this may happen 10 tens, maybe more. eventually, you will receive the necessary paperwork to request another test. after you spend another 4 or 5 hours filling this out, they will schedule another test in about a year and you can try again. maybe this time you will listen to my advice.

Originally Posted by Harvey Swick

humans on the sidelines
puzzled and amused
why did father make this jelly-blob?
now we're all confused

Originally Posted by demoniacfashion

Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Originally Posted by Oasis-fanatic

they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.

Originally Posted by human panda

Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do

Originally Posted by Venice King

Snatch is such a crude term - Use a better one like axe-wound or cave-opening.