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Old 12-18-2012, 12:14 PM   #1
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13Trivium13's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
New melodic hard-rock/metalcore idea [Gp5, gp4, midi]

Hi forum. I need some feedback on my new song which is still in progress. Any help will be appeciated. C4C
Attached Files
File Type: gp4 Trust Can't Be Bought.gp4 (21.8 KB, 63 views)
File Type: gp5 Trust Can't Be Bought.gp5 (39.0 KB, 186 views)
File Type: mid Trust Can't Be Bought.mid (42.8 KB, 77 views)
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Old 12-18-2012, 01:52 PM   #2
Evil Pudding Emperor
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: (ʃƪ‿)
Crit fer crit?

Down there \/

It sounded like a european power metal track , but a bit of a filler one. The lead line is repeated too much with no variation, gets a little grating. Bass follows alright, and its got just enough variation to sound okay. Drums are a bit basic. Verse riffs are decent, probably dont need to do much to those. Pre-chorus, need to change that all completely from bar 47 onwards. Its just too run-of-the-mill and doesn't add any tension or build up for the chorus. Could do with more after the last chorus, but thats up to you.

Added an Epi-fied version, and the song I need critting:
Attached Files
File Type: gp4 Trust Can't Be Bought EpiUpdate.gp4 (24.1 KB, 52 views)
File Type: gp4 Another kind of death metal.gp4 (53.3 KB, 57 views)
( ^.^) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ)

Originally Posted by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
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Old 12-19-2012, 06:30 PM   #3
Trance/Metal Synth player
~Flounder~'s Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Hell yeah! This is my kind of music. I'm definitely hearing a distinct melodic metal/core/industrish vibes. I listened to the EpiExplorer remix and I do think that you should stick with that one (or rather use that one when finishing the song), and I'll be referring to that guitar pro in the crit:

The Main melody is pretty awesome, but gets a tad overused (nearly annoyoing) by the end of the song. The little variations up and down that Epi added were needed to be sure. I think one way you can improve this part is at measure 13 having a Sawtooth or Square lead take over the melody and have the guitar do a chuggy type riff OR use the synth and guitar to do a harmony of each other (try 3rds) instead of unision. That could 'spice up' the intro melody without it getting boring to the listener.

Assuming you're not a drummer I'm just gonna say now the drums could be improved upon and sick fills/double bass action would serve to make it as a whole more exciting. Like in measure 28 you could have a cool 16th note tom/snare fill to 'build up' to the verse. Also I do not like how there are no cymbals when the verse begins. The verse riff is SICK! but the drums are boring. Measures 21-24 don't seem to fill any purpose other than as a transition but i think a different transition riff is needed.

I really like the guitar riffage in the verse as well as the prechorus. It's borderline generic 'core' stuff but it flows very nicely and generally just sounds good. Again drums in 92-96 could be much improved to add to that 'build' up before the main riff again.

The rest of the song is literally a repeat of the verse/prechorus/chorus formula. I don't personally like that and I usually try to write the second part of a song as pretty asymmetrical from the first. but its preference. Why not just put a repeat sign on the first half of the song?

All in all I think this one has a lot of potential and its definitely in the genre I enjoy listening to and writing. The drums need to be made amazing. Also the synths could definitely be improved upon to add to the ambiance of the song with more pads, leads, and random sounds as well as more melodic stuff (like a piano part or something). The second half of the song should also be different from the first in some ways to keep things interesting. Throw in a cool breakdown, guitar solo, acoustic bit, whatever and you should have an awesome track!

I edited a couple things in the guitar pro to show you what I meant in the crit. Can't remember exactly what was changed but it might help. cheers

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...72#post30760772
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 Trust Can't Be Bought+Epi+FlounderMix.gp5 (37.8 KB, 55 views)
Kurzweil K2500xs
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