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Old 12-20-2012, 07:04 AM   #1
Bleed Away
th.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Condition I - III


I

The tortured voice,
that once called your name,
and the nucleated blood,
that wiped away your tears,
are now just mere memories
much in the same vein
as the countless winters
and suppressed demons
that soaked your empty bed:
those nights were real.

II

When a fragile innocence turns to pretense
and when a distorted mind becomes a dearest friend,
only then will you think of me again.

III

Let the light burn away the darkness
and your soon to be defamed premonition,
in the guise of a sense I can never identify.
You are no longer a woman
and my love canít guide you that far.
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Last edited by Bleed Away : 03-02-2013 at 06:56 PM.
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:18 AM   #2
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Coming back to this. Really enjoy the shorter writings though. Curious about Condition II?
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:29 AM   #3
Bleed Away
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalecG94
Coming back to this. Really enjoy the shorter writings though. Curious about Condition II?


Thank you

Condition II is here:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1577972
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:33 AM   #4
culex-knight
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This trilogy is great.
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いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:47 AM   #5
tukk04
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Kind of lame and cliched to me, but then again everyone has their own opinions. If you think it's good, good for you mate.
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Old 12-20-2012, 06:47 PM   #6
smartalecG94
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After re-reading this, I almost feel like it would've been better if all three had been one piece, provided they're about the same subject. It honestly feels like you're not giving enough material to write an in-depth review. I like the pieces, but that's about all I can really say because it feels like there isn't anything else TO say.
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Old 12-20-2012, 07:27 PM   #7
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I too think the three would be better as one piece. this one in particular is so much stronger with the others as context IMO

good stuff as always
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:33 PM   #8
Bleed Away
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalecG94
After re-reading this, I almost feel like it would've been better if all three had been one piece, provided they're about the same subject. It honestly feels like you're not giving enough material to write an in-depth review. I like the pieces, but that's about all I can really say because it feels like there isn't anything else TO say.


The three poems all come from the same frame of mind, yes. The three poems are meant to be felt, more so, than understood.
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Last edited by Bleed Away : 12-21-2012 at 03:42 PM.
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