Kozlic

Hi Pit.

I know, I know I'm dumb for posting on here but meh...it's the only place I can ask pretty much maybe some of you have experience since there's a depressed side in every songwriter.

So Yeah this is not about me. I'm depressed a little as well but I'm seeing a psychologist so it's fine.

It's about my girlfriend.
She was the definition of a ''good girl'' since 2 years ago. Then she turned really weird for no apparent reason. She just didn't wanna feel anything so she smoked about 18 joints a day and drank till she passed out all the time...keep in mind she's only 16 atm.

So last night she finally told me (and I'm the only one she's ever told) what it is all about. Where does this pain come from. Her parents separated 2 years ago when she was 13-14 (which is probably one of the worst times in our lives where out whole world is changing) but they still live together as a family and sleep in the same bed. Weird, eh?

She found out through her grandmother (she accidentally told her) and then their parents confessed. But the thing is, she never talked about it to anyone and she's been really ****ed up since then. Her parents are really nice and caring but I think they're just afraid to see it. And her younger brother (he's 12), doesn't know about it and even her best friend doesn't know and basically nobody knows outside their family and most of them think that she doesn't know.

Since I practically have the perfect parents, it's kinda hard for me to help her. I do understand her cause it really hurt when my parents were fighting a lot but I just can't imagine how she must feel.
So I'm asking you the Pit....how can I help her? Is there anything I can do? does somebody out there have any experience with these things, what did you do to feel better...

tl;dr:

My girlfriend's parents separated 2 years ago, still live together and nobody knows about it (not even her brother) except her and her mother's parents (which told my GF accidentally). She's in a lot of pain because of it, doesn't want anybody to know, I'm the first one she told. She's really depressed and suicidal but does a good job hiding it.

What can I do to help? Do you have any experience? What helped you?

Thanks guys. Any kind of help means a lot.

__________________
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

MH400

Medical professional. In the Pit, you'll just get idiotic answers regarding rape and memes.

tortilla

She needs to see a
Psychiatrist. She
will probably have to
be put on an anti-
depressant. If she has
made a suicide attempt,
she will be admitted to
a psychiatric hospital.

__________________
Whenever the Will to Power, in no matter what form, begins to decline, a physiological retrogression, decadence always supervenes.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

smartguyreviews

You're in a tough spot, but first off, you're a good person for trying what you're trying to do. It's a tough situation that you can't really help directly, but you can be as supportive as possible with her. Depending on what kind of person she is (you'd probably know) you'd have to approach this as delicately as necessary, but the first thing you should probably do is make sure she knows that you're there for her, and may want to voice your concern about drug/alcohol use. Just don't be pushy or anything like that. It's probably best that she talk to a therapist or someone like that to really help her situation out though.

__________________
Free Real Estate

due 07

~kiss the bottle~

Kozlic

The thing is...she stopped doing all that because I told her that I'd leave her if she did that cause I don't wanna be with somebody that doesn't know where they are or what they're doing.
That was before I knew anything...I thought she's just being a teenager and puberty hit her a bit too hard.
She cried for 3.5 hours yesterday. She never cries when anyone's around.
I'm pretty much the only one she trusts beside her BF (but she didn't tell her so idk they're all a bit weird).
And you know...with bad memories come bad friends.
Thanks for not making jokes guys. I will try and get her to see a therapist but it's kinda hard to do so without her parents knowing since she's underage.
And I haven't met their parents yet so yeah...but I'm planning on talking to them but on the other hand...she'd hate me for it. I think she has to tell them...she said that maybe she'll tell her mom idk...

__________________
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

due 07

i thought you were her bf?!

eGraham

Maybe he means best friend.


What we have here is... a failure to communicate.

__________________






I'm Ron ****ing Swanson

So-Cal

this is
concise and
accurate

blake1221

idk...my bff jill?

__________________

It's a very different winter now and I'm in a very different place, but I hope you're well.


Saintly Rows||Drifter

Kozlic

yeah sorry my bad.

__________________
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

due 07

also is that the cutest album art ever y/n

blake1221

yyyyyyy

__________________

It's a very different winter now and I'm in a very different place, but I hope you're well.


Saintly Rows||Drifter

leony03

She is better off seeking professional help from a psychiatrist. It's the best thing to do for her. Most likely, they will put her on Prozac, an anti-depressant tablet. Just stick by her and make her as happy as possible for the time being while you sort one out, if you choose to.

Good luck dude!

__________________

MY METALZ YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Omniscient G

Anti-depressants are so shitty. But maybe they would work for her. Worth a try.

shattamakar

Hey there, man.

My cousin grew up hating her parents. Ever since she was 7, they'd separated the house into two-with the upper phase and lower phase split between them. So, one week she'd be living with her mum, and the next week, with her dad, in the same damn house. No family dinners, no celebrations, no relief from the coldness of home.

As one would imagine, my cousin was a depressed girl and she started snorting coke with some of her buddies to get away, to cope, I presume. I won't go into the details of her depression or her dependency, but I will tell you this: today, she seems genuinely happy, content.

Now, seeing a therapist is important, let me make that clear. But she has to be certain that she trusts the psychiatrist. Considering her age and particular circumstances, you might as well ask around your circles of friends and family to find someone suitable. Remember, a random shrink can and will do more harm than good.

Next, always remember that its an internal struggle that she has to come to terms with. Smoking weed may be putting her in a comfortable place, but it really is, in my opinion, being used as a substitute for moments of calm that need to be earned, not induced.

So, whenever she seems willing and able, encourage her to set out on a trip, backpack, watch a beautiful sunset, pick up an instrument, have an adventure, talk to people she's never talked to before, write, sing, or do anything, anything that would involve her tuning in without dropping out. Every angst and sorrow has the potential to be wrought into a talent or a hobby, or as cliched as it sounds 'another reason to live happy'.

I guess this is the first part of my advice, if this thread is still open, I'll talk to my cuz and I'll give you more advice, if you want.

See you then. And remember, do not neglect your own sense of happiness and well being. Of course, you aren't some sort of life-raft floating purely to make her happier, but if you are strong, you may inspire.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratracekid111 Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

Kozlic

Thanks man. Thanks soooo much.
I've been through a lot myself, struggling because of my medical problems that will never go away and you know the ordinary stuff so I'm mostly trying to show her that I understand her and that she's not alone like she's been for the past 2 years when she needed someone the most...and then she got a boyfriend who ''loved her'' and then cheated on her after 2 months and they dated for another 2 months, him still cheating on her every chance he had. So he basically had 2 girlfriends...and that finally destroyed her...
So yeah I can't imagine how much she's been through.
And then she met me and after 2 months of flirting I decided it was best for me if I let her go and yeah then she started doing more drugs, drank more and slept with some random guy etc...then we started dating idk even why. Weird story.

Thank you for your help so much guys. I really appreciate it in these dark hours. You gave me hope and courage to try and help her. THank you again.

__________________
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

bartman5

give her this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Yourself...depends+on+i t

__________________
"A true artist hides his abilities"

shattamakar

No problem, bro. I'm adding you, PM me if you want. Manic depressive and I know that feel, so you're not alone.

Booty.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratracekid111 Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.