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Old 12-25-2012, 12:39 PM   #1
Usernames sucks
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New ambient progressive metal psycedelic song C4C!

Hi i just wrote and recorded a new progressive prog rock song! Im very happy with it, but i would like some constructive criticicm on both the composition and mixing. If you post a link to your song, i'll give you feedback on it!
https://soundcloud.com/kjartan-thorkildsen/euphoric
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Original fusion metal song:
http://m.soundcloud.com/kjartan-thorkildsen/euphoric
ORIGINAL PROGRESSIVE METAL SONG:
https://soundcloud.com/kjartan-thor...fe-in-purgatory
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Old 12-25-2012, 05:13 PM   #2
Metal Turtle
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Wow man that was amasing! I like the intro the most! You play very well, way better than me. Your mixing skill are pro too. I also think adding that techno beat was very original

(youtube.com/watch?v=nZRbbpmCmBI) theres mine, its very short but just wanted feedback on the structure and arrangments and sound, Trying to make it into a full song lol also merry christmas!
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Old 12-25-2012, 05:20 PM   #3
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I wish i could give constructive criticicm but to me it all sounded amasing to me, really
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Old 12-25-2012, 07:20 PM   #4
Usernames sucks
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Turtle
Wow man that was amasing! I like the intro the most! You play very well, way better than me. Your mixing skill are pro too. I also think adding that techno beat was very original

(youtube.com/watch?v=nZRbbpmCmBI) theres mine, its very short but just wanted feedback on the structure and arrangments and sound, Trying to make it into a full song lol also merry christmas!

Hey dude thanks! Ill write the response here, since im on my phone.
I like the clean tone in the intro, and the distortion guitar that comes over blends well! It had been cool if you had added some small runs or something like that in the lead. The riffs are simple but effective. All in all, i would say you have a good song, that can be even beter with some "spice". May i ask you what you use to record drums, because to me they sound kinda wierd. Merry christmas!
__________________
Original fusion metal song:
http://m.soundcloud.com/kjartan-thorkildsen/euphoric
ORIGINAL PROGRESSIVE METAL SONG:
https://soundcloud.com/kjartan-thor...fe-in-purgatory
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Old 12-25-2012, 09:35 PM   #5
Metal Turtle
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Usernames sucks
Hey dude thanks! Ill write the response here, since im on my phone.
I like the clean tone in the intro, and the distortion guitar that comes over blends well! It had been cool if you had added some small runs or something like that in the lead. The riffs are simple but effective. All in all, i would say you have a good song, that can be even beter with some "spice". May i ask you what you use to record drums, because to me they sound kinda wierd. Merry christmas!



Merry Christmas to you too! The clean tone was played through "Roland Jazz Chorus 120 simulator" Guitars Played through "Mesa-Boogie Mark C+ simulator" And Drums were edited digitally by me as well! Thats why it sounds so robotic lol

Thanks for the feedback! I'll try and add some lead and try and make the song a bit longer lol -MT

Last edited by Metal Turtle : 12-25-2012 at 09:37 PM.
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Old 12-25-2012, 10:47 PM   #6
Demian1695
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Amazing song, i love the clean tone on the intro, and the heavy riffing (the part in the 5 min is pretty amazing too), i will add a delay to your lead tone to give more " space " and maybe add a simple melody or motiv to repeat sometimes.

Cheers from chile!! i leave a comment on soundcloud i hope you can listen to my song!!!

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...92#post30799392
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:34 AM   #7
naybnbyuwn
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Love the Animals As Leaders-esque intro.
Although i love the chilled-jazz lead that follows, i think it could be a lot cleaner- maybe use a more mellow, sustaining tone (compressed, neck pickup ?) since its a bit fizzy.
The solo at 2:40 is awesome, reminds me of something off Scenes from a memory (dream theatre) or Periphery II.
Tapping bit at 3:30 could be a bit cleaner but sounds good.
nice transition at 4:50, the more mellow, and minor tonality has a cool contrast with the sections before it.
outro was nice and epic aswell.

overall, AWESOME composition, but guitars could be a bit tighter.

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...79#post30800179
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Old 12-26-2012, 10:17 AM   #8
Usernames sucks
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Thaks guys! I know my playing could be a little tighter. :P i have posted response to you now.
__________________
Original fusion metal song:
http://m.soundcloud.com/kjartan-thorkildsen/euphoric
ORIGINAL PROGRESSIVE METAL SONG:
https://soundcloud.com/kjartan-thor...fe-in-purgatory
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Old 12-26-2012, 01:20 PM   #9
JB95
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Norwegian:
Dritbra det her!
Elsker lyden i trommene og strings'ene! Gitartonen har litt forbedringspotensiale og kanskje den kunne blitt litt bedre mixet sammen med resten av instrumentene, men bortsett fra det så er det skikkelig profft! Som sagt i tidligere kommentarer her kunne kanskje du brukt noen flere opptak under innspilingen for å gjøre det så perfekt som mulig.
Musikalsk så føler jeg at det er Periphery, Animals as Leaders og kanskje et snev av Dream Theater i sangen. Elsker den stilen, men personlig mener jeg at det kan bli litt slitsomt med mye skifting av skala(?) med høy frekvens. Prøv å spice opp de viktige lead delene med tostemt gitarer og ikke vær redd for å spille litt saktere. Hør på Jarle H. Olsen (dyktig fyr fra 4sound bergen) spiller lignende stil på verdensnivå. Mye god inspirasjon å få fra han.
Gi en lyd til meg når du kommer med nytt materiale, siden det er kule greier du lager (:
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:04 PM   #10
Usernames sucks
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JB95
Norwegian:
Dritbra det her!
Elsker lyden i trommene og strings'ene! Gitartonen har litt forbedringspotensiale og kanskje den kunne blitt litt bedre mixet sammen med resten av instrumentene, men bortsett fra det så er det skikkelig profft! Som sagt i tidligere kommentarer her kunne kanskje du brukt noen flere opptak under innspilingen for å gjøre det så perfekt som mulig.
Musikalsk så føler jeg at det er Periphery, Animals as Leaders og kanskje et snev av Dream Theater i sangen. Elsker den stilen, men personlig mener jeg at det kan bli litt slitsomt med mye skifting av skala(?) med høy frekvens. Prøv å spice opp de viktige lead delene med tostemt gitarer og ikke vær redd for å spille litt saktere. Hør på Jarle H. Olsen (dyktig fyr fra 4sound bergen) spiller lignende stil på verdensnivå. Mye god inspirasjon å få fra han.
Gi en lyd til meg når du kommer med nytt materiale, siden det er kule greier du lager (:

Hey takk! Det er du som er jonas bjordal? Anyway det er ein del moduleringer (skifter som regel fra C lydisk til Eb lydisk, med andre akkorder som ikkje er i skalaen), så det blir litt komplisert kansje, men sånt er masse brukt i aal. Har forresten hørt noko musikk frå jarle h olsen, og det er sjukt kult!
__________________
Original fusion metal song:
http://m.soundcloud.com/kjartan-thorkildsen/euphoric
ORIGINAL PROGRESSIVE METAL SONG:
https://soundcloud.com/kjartan-thor...fe-in-purgatory
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:09 PM   #11
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@Usernames sucks: This is a really well recorded piece. I won't crit on the mix but the composition if that's OK with you (since I have nothing to say that hasn't been said already).

[0:00-0:46]: Very nice chord work here. Reminds me of the Final Fantasy Overture.
[0:47-1:39]: The phrasing is very jazzy with the chromatics making it quite enjoyable. The shredding from 1:27 was quite interesting but I was expecting some well-placed harmonies. Maybe try taking a stab at that sometime?
[1:40-2:32]: Now this reminds me of a happy Cynic. I like it but it feels somewhat directionless and lacking.
[2:33-2:58]: I really like the rhythm guitar in this section.
[2:59-3:51]: Chords are very lush. Your chord progressions in this piece are impeccable. The upbeat stabs serve as a great transition to the main theme. I think using this section superimposed in the climax section would be very beneficial.
[3:52-4:43]: Refrain is quite good here. I still love that chromatic tapping
[4:44-6:45]: This is the climax I've been waiting for the whole time. That said, the electronic beat was enjoyed, although it would be good to have the piece littered with little electronic synths and beats throughout the entire piece as opposed to just one section. I think that would help with the continuity and interest of the piece.
[6:46-7:43]: I think you should have used this more dissonant chord progression in the beginning (Cynic section) and then used the more upbeat chord progression from the climax onwards. My opinion anyway.

At the end, I still remember that melody and the awesome intro. I really enjoyed this piece and it would be good to hear your future works.

C4C? The link's in my signature.
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Old 12-27-2012, 02:38 AM   #12
mattmakaha
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at 0:47, I was like "oh yeah!!! that's good!" and again at 3:00 when you change the chord progression and go more fusion-like.
The recording is very clean. Your drum programming is solid. I like that almost electronica drum sounds you used at around the 5:10 mark.

The only negative is that to me, the piece kinda lost a little bit of energy at the 04:48 mark. Although looking at the overall structure, I think I understand why you arranged the piece like that.

And in the end, I liked this piece enough that I listened to some of your other songs.

so could you visit my thread and leave a comment on my song? Here's the thread link:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1579631
Thanks!

Last edited by mattmakaha : 12-29-2012 at 12:28 AM.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:36 AM   #13
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Awesome, but some parts feel like they should be more... Tighter. The recording is excellent.
2: 45 - Laughed a bit there, didnt see that coming. got used to it after a bit but still chuckle a bit at that part. The outro is nice and kind of soothing.
though the guitar sounds a little rough at some parts but maybe i'm just being pretentious.
A solid song. Kind of reminds me of some Animals as Leaders. It would be safe to say you take to them a lot lol.

If you get time, please do check ou my first attempt at recording.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1579867
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