Philip_pepper

I'm kinda sick, got a bit of a cold, so my mom told me that someone told her that sleeping nest to an onion helps. Somehow.

So now I got an onion cut up in half in a bowl next to me bed.

What's the weirdest thing you've slept with, beside my mother?

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

WCPhils

Your father

durhamdynamo

My girlfriend. In my parents bed.

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I would go out tonight,

but I haven't got a stitch to wear,

this man said,

"it's gruesome,

that someone so handsome should care."

Nickpocalypse

Super Nintendo

When I was younger I had one of those in-car DVD player screens plugged into it and I played Super Mario RPG while lying in bed.

EDIT: Apparently this thread is for sexy jokes... Awkward...

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"Cowards die many times before their deaths;
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,

NarwhalG2G

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Junglie

My gameboy under my pillow when I was little.

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PeZ546

I had an onion tied round my belt, which was the style at the time.

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I don't always write stories. But when I do I post them here

Play BF3 on PS3? Add me: PeZ_IMMoRTAL

Follow me on Twitter - I promise I wont stalk the hell out of you

blake1221

You're going to reek in the morning.

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It's a very different winter now and I'm in a very different place, but I hope you're well.


Saintly Rows||Drifter

ali.guitarkid7

At the time?


OT: A serb.

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Ask.fm: The Swag Years

tweet.tweet

jthm_guitarist

Yeah OP your mom is playing a trick on you.

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hornet224

A wooden sword.



Don't judge me.

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Alpha_Wolf

I've heard people say that too. It makes no sense to me, at all.

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In my restless dreams...
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again someday.
But you never did.

Well, I'm alone there now.
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.

Shredoftheday

OROGERS are like onions trheyu have laywer s

OVER9000VIDEOS

sometimes when i'm chewing gum in bed i'm too comfortable to get up and throw it out so i just stick it on my nuts (pretty much the best spot if you actually think about it)

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hornet224

wut?

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Shredoftheday

>Using a public restroom in the bad part of town
>Really bad diarrhea
>Someone comes in tries to open the door of the stall I'm in, I say it's occupied
>See a big brown eye stare in at me through the crack of the door
>He says nothing and I can hear him walking back to the bathroom door
>To my horror I hear sounds of the door locking as the smell of onions begins to fill the air, shortly followed by the light switch being turned off
>The last thing I remember hearing is "Don't worry, this will be ogre soon."
>Wake up in an dumpster in another part of town with no pants, a prolapsed anus, and a fractured pelvis
>Doctors said I was lucky to be alive; police never found out who was responsible

MORAKL of the stoory : OP dont sleep with a onioni

Joshua Garcia

I think I've accidentally slept on a hangar once.
And my wallet.
And jacket.
And my backpack.

Other than that, nothing.

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jetfuel495

nihari is used as a cure for a common cold you should just eat some of that

during finals and midterms and such i occasionally end up just passing out in the middle of all of my work, since i do all my studying in my bed

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but the tears have washed
the color from your eyes

last.fm/soundcloud/unofficialUGFTW.tumblr.com

hornet224

Every time jetfuel posts, I find myself mesmerized by his avatar rather than reading his post. Is that normal?

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