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Old 01-06-2013, 05:02 PM   #1
Steyr9001
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College freshman problems

Hey Pit. This is my first time posting here, so if there's any sort of etiquette that Iíve eschewed then I apologize.

So on the 14th I'll be going to college, and it will actually be my very first day of school. I was home schooled my whole life, and dropped out around the 7th or 8th grade due to some unfortunate family circumstances.

I have my GED, I've applied for virtually all of the financial aid that I know of, I have my text books, but the one area that I have no idea how to prepare myself is simply dealing with people. I'm not really fearful of social interactions at all; I just don't really know how to casually talk to people. This is an unsettling thought for me because I really want to experience having a normal social life, but the one thing you really can't learn at home is basic human interactions.




My education is obviously my first priority, but since I never really had the opportunity to make many friends up until this point I would really hate **** up the social aspects of going to college while Iím there. I guess I'm not really even sure what I'm asking for - How to make friends? How to make small talk with strangers? How to get laid?




But really, I'm lost, and by no means too proud to admit it, so here I am. If anyone has any basic tips for socializing with strangers and making friends, I'd be pretty appreciative.

I should also mention that I'm in good shape, fairly well spoken (albeit quietly well spoken), and despite my past with school, I'm confident in my own intelligence. I know something like this brings up all sorts of neckbeard thoughts and images, but I'm honestly just a normal guy whose never really had the chance to go to a regular school and make regular friends.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:04 PM   #2
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You remind me of me. I don't have the answer either. Also I hate everyone, so that helps.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:05 PM   #3
rockingamer2
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See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:05 PM   #4
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You're going from 8th grade homeschooling as your last schooling related environment, to college?
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:06 PM   #5
Steyr9001
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I'm pretty indifferent to everyone... Possibly as a result of not meeting anyone.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:07 PM   #6
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Join a frat. Easy way into an active social life. Make sure it's a good one. You're looking for best case scenario 6:4 douchebag ratio with 20% of the douchebags actually being good dudes, but still douchey.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockingamer2
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This.

Easiest way to make friends who share your interests.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:11 PM   #8
rockingamer2
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Originally Posted by Steyr9001
I'm pretty indifferent to everyone... Possibly as a result of not meeting anyone.

Being quiet and indifferent may give people the wrong impression of you. If you chat a bit and are nice, people will see that you're a nice guy who just doesn't talk much and not some asshole shut in.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:11 PM   #9
ali.guitarkid7
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*awaits due 07*
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:12 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by rockingamer2
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This.

Clubs are the best way to improve your social skills, especially clubs that do things that require you to talk and participate. For instance, drama club is an excellent example. Or a club directly related to your major.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:15 PM   #11
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*awaits due 07*

Is there something particular in this thread that you expect him to object to, or are you just noting that you wish due 07 was online?
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:16 PM   #12
AxeToFall
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Are you going to be living on campus or just commuting?

If you're commuting to college then you really won't have to worry about socializing. It's kind of just like show up for an hour or 2 then go home. I've had quite a few classes where I didn't have to say a single word all semester (those are the best). You might get a professor though that is all about group work, presentations, and classroom participation (those are aweful).

If you're living on campus though, then you're probably going to want to develop some social skills. It'll probably start with your room-mate, then branch out from there.

Good luck

Last edited by AxeToFall : 01-06-2013 at 05:29 PM.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:19 PM   #13
Steyr9001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blake1221
You're going from 8th grade homeschooling as your last schooling related environment, to college?


After I took the test for my GED They said I was more than ready to start college. Any formal schooling stopped for me around middle school equivalent, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything afterwards. I've always been pretty self-motivated so I would end up researching pretty much anything that caught my interested until I ran out of information or my curiousity had been satisfied. The only area I had serious trouble with was math. I actually scored the highest of my testing group.

Quote:
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See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This is a good idea, but depending on the schedules I may not be able to with work.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:21 PM   #14
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The best way is to not put too much pressure on yourself to make friends. Just hang out with people by joining clubs, or if you live in a dorm, with the people on your floor. It might be easier at times to listen rather than to talk. You'll get used to talking to people in college that way. The worst thing you can do is to lock yourself in your room all day and be unsociable. Just follow your interests, be genuine, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Also don't do things that you're not comfortable doing. Fitting a square peg into a round hole only will cause problems.

As for getting a girlfriend, just be confident. Be yourself, treat them well, and don't lower your standards just so that you can get laid. You'll only regret it later. Also prove that you're competent, whether it's being in good shape, smart, funny, or just having a skill. You're on a music website, so if you can play an instrument that is one good example.

Probably the most important thing is to have integrity. If immature people are bothering you, ignore them. Do some charitable work. That can often bring you respect and several clubs are based on doing charitable work. I'm in Habitat for Humanity and I love it. Also you may not want to join a frat if you're not used to being around a lot of guys your age. If you don't end up in a good frat, you can end up having a horrible time. There are other ways to be sociable anyway.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:26 PM   #15
Steyr9001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AxeToFall
Are you going to be living on campus or just commuting?

If you're commuting to college then you really won't have to worry about socializing. It's kind of just like show up for an hour or 2 then leave. I've had quite a few classes where I didn't have to say a single word all semester (those are the best). You might get a professor though that is all about group work, presentations, and class room participation (those are aweful).

If you're living on campus though, then you're probably going to want to develop some social skills. It'll probably start with your room-mate, then branch out from there.

Good luck


Commuting - Whatever financial aid can't cover is coming out my pocket, and it's pretty rough for a middle school drop out to find nice paying job. Living on campus would just cost me way too much.

I should clarify that I'm not worried I'll have to socialize, socializing is actually what I want. I just don't have any idea how to go about it.


But hey, thanks for the luck.

Last edited by Steyr9001 : 01-06-2013 at 05:29 PM.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:27 PM   #16
ali.guitarkid7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikLensherr
Is there something particular in this thread that you expect him to object to, or are you just noting that you wish due 07 was online?

Both?


Nah, was just making a crack at how last time homeschooling was brought up he talked about all the stuff op mentioned. I really don't think kids have a choice, though.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:33 PM   #17
Steyr9001
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Originally Posted by ali.guitarkid7
Both?


Nah, was just making a crack at how last time homeschooling was brought up he talked about all the stuff op mentioned. I really don't think kids have a choice, though.


Not at all.

Except for the most brainwashed of radical christians, no home schooled kid I've ever met wanted to be home schooled.



It's really pretty shitty.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:33 PM   #18
Dreaminmusic
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There are a lot of small things you can just simply do to increase your chances of interaction as well. Every time you go to class make sure you sit next to someone/a group of people. Kids talk in class and share in their disdain of the teacher and work so its an easy way to connect to people and obviously you have something in common off the bat. Expand by asking their majors and whatnot. You kinda even have a leg up by having a different background than most people, and depending how you present your scenario it could become a great social point. Be light about it and be like "yeah I'm the awkward byproduct of homeschooling so I'm pretty much struggling to talk" after telling your background and make a joke of it. Kids will laugh because thats generally a stereotype and then realize that you dont fit it because you can be lighthearted and funny about it.

I dont know if you enjoy smoking the reefer or drinking but an easy way to meet girls is to just sit next to them, act as though class is a total drag and youre way too cool and have stuff to do to possibly be there and just turn to the girl and be like "so are you particularly enjoying being here right now? Most likely she'll be like wtf, no? wut? and then you come in with "yeah me neither, I'm about to go back to my place and smoke a bowl and listen to some music, wanna join me?" I would say this works 2/3 times but that 1 time it doesn't you still have to leave and go through with it which can stink.

I was super socially awkward until i realized one thing: You can be so outgoing that you literally set a standard for yourself that you can say anything and its not ridiculous and thats when I started to shine. Catch people off guard with how honest or down to earth you are and make fun of everything equally [let others call you out and embelish upon their jokes] and youll seem like a really lively, refreshing, and fun to be around person.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:35 PM   #19
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As someone said, join a fraternity. Don't let stereotypes fool you! Joining a fraternity is a great way to put yourself out there and also helps with a resume. Just make sure you get to know what the fraternity is about and your values align with each other. Excellent way to build social skills, team skills, leadership skills, and much more. Also at my school, fraternities and sororities don't do any hazing or that kind of bs and I'm sure most schools don't.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:36 PM   #20
mark.bark
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Simply going on how you expressed yourself, you are in no way a social recluse, and should have nothing to worry about. I'm in the UK and don't know what age this would make you... but a few beers makes getting laid way easier.

Be yourself, its all that you can be.

Don't worry about making an impression, or wondering 'do they like me' just be a top lad, a cool guy. The less you worry, the easier everything is - Mark 2013
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