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Old 01-11-2013, 11:30 PM   #1
Gibson_SG_uzr55
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The proper age to tell a child they are adopted

What does The Pit think is a good age to let an adopted child be made aware that they have been adopted? Should they be told this their whole life from the time they can speak/interact? If you think an adoptive parent should wait to tell their child, when is the right time to let the child know? Does anyone think it's okay to never make such a thing known, maybe depending on a circumstance (biological parent a known criminal or something)?
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:31 PM   #2
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I'd wait until they are an adult. I think they'd be more prepared to handle the news at that point.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:31 PM   #3
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raise them in knowledge of it
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 PM   #4
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raise them in knowledge of it

this
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 PM   #5
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I think as soon as they're old enough to be able to understand what adopted means.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 PM   #6
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I never really understood why being told you're adopted would be such a big deal.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 PM   #7
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Gibson.... I'm sorry to tell you this.....
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 PM   #8
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:33 PM   #9
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Probably not until they were adults. Even then, I wouldn't tell them unless they asked. I wouldn't want them to feel like they don't belong in the family, even after being a member of it for so long. I guess if the kid looks different to his/her parents, they might figure it out on their own.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:35 PM   #10
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I think not telling the child as soon as possible is a terrible thing to do.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:38 PM   #11
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I think not telling the child as soon as possible is a terrible thing to do.

"Hey son kid, you're adopted. Your real parents are irresponsible and never loved you. To us, you're a complete stranger who leeches off our time and money. Don't you ever forget that."
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:39 PM   #12
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Yea I'd tell them at a young age too. I think if you wait until they're an adult, it could be a huge life-changing event for them. But if they're told they were adopted at an early age, it seems like they would just accept it. As long as you make them understand that they're still part of the family.

Edit: Don't say that^^ haha
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:46 PM   #13
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Tell them early. You let them know that biological ties are not what holds a family together. When they are older they will learn just how ridiculously hard it is to adopt a child and that you must really fucking love them to go through all of that just to clean their ass for several years.

Adopted parents who planned for you and knowingly agreed that you are worth the time, money and effort it takes to adopt you > marriage only because your dad knocked your mom up, broken condom, etc
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:47 PM   #14
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Make it a bedtime story.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:47 PM   #15
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Tell them on one of their birthdays.
Their gift will be knowledge!!! =D
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:48 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sashki
"Hey son kid, you're adopted. Your real parents are irresponsible and never loved you. To us, you're a complete stranger who leeches off our time and money. Don't you ever forget that."

Who would say it like that to their child?
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:49 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sashki
"Hey son kid, you're adopted. Your real parents are irresponsible and never loved you. To us, you're a complete stranger who leeches off our time and money. Don't you ever forget that."

Anyone that would say that to an adopted child shouldn't be considered suitable for adoption.

Imagine if you found out you were adopted (assuming your not) and your parents, that you've known for your entire life, had kept it from you. Wouldn't you feel a bit betrayed? Wouldn't you feel you had the right to know?

Last edited by So-Cal : 01-11-2013 at 11:59 PM.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:52 PM   #18
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haha, how awesome would that be as a prank for your natural born child, maybe on their 16th birthday...
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:53 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sashki
"Hey son kid, you're adopted. Your real parents are irresponsible and never loved you. To us, you're a complete stranger who leeches off our time and money. Don't you ever forget that."

Any decent person would tell it more along the lines of "We accepted you into this family as one of our own and to us you are not a stepchild, but our child".
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Originally Posted by Bob_Sacamano
I never really understood why being told you're adopted would be such a big deal.

A kid may find it difficult to understand that the person whom they believed to be their parent isn't really so. It's just a little mind boggling.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:55 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by palm mute
Adopted parents who planned for you and knowingly agreed that you are worth the time, money and effort it takes to adopt you > marriage only because your dad knocked your mom up, broken condom, etc


Yeah, but can a kid understand that?
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