Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > UG Community > The Pit
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 01-12-2013, 12:31 AM   #41
palm mute
Reserved User
 
palm mute's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: East Hastings
Quote:
Originally Posted by due 07
and we also have to quit using terms like "real parents" to refer to biological parents. yr real parents are the people who raised you, biological or adoptive.

Fucking amen
__________________
In my heart I'm with you

every night
palm mute is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:32 AM   #42
fudger
Im a ninja of love..
 
fudger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Binghamton NY
I had a ten year old sister who is adopted. She has known since she was five,. She is black being raised by all whites so it wasn't hard for her to figure out something was different. She never felt out of place of it and was quite understanding. Granted we didn't tell her her mother was a mentally ill crack head. I feel waiting could cause problems but it is obviously situational.

that is my two bits at least
__________________
My band
Facebook
Youtube
Bandcamp

I'd rather be Phishing...
fudger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:33 AM   #43
Nelshizzle
Find a place and go there
 
Nelshizzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Far out man
Quote:
Originally Posted by fudger
I had a ten year old sister who is adopted. She has known since she was five,. She is black being raised by all whites so it wasn't hard for her to figure out something was different. She never felt out of place of it and was quite understanding. Granted we didn't tell her her mother was a mentally ill crack head. I feel waiting could cause problems but it is obviously situational.

that is my two bits at least


Had? Im sorry if im prying, but I understand if you're not willing to share.
__________________
Too many thoughts

Not enough action

Too much action

Not enough thoughts
Nelshizzle is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:35 AM   #44
AmalgamOfMeat
Naw
 
AmalgamOfMeat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
If I had adopted kids that didn't know they were adopted kids, I would let them know they're adopted kids, so there would be no lies between me and my hypothetical adopted kids.

Love comes from the brain-heart, so DNA is irrelevant. I would make them know this.
AmalgamOfMeat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:37 AM   #45
Weaponized
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
It doesn't matter at all. If I'm raising my kid, that's that. He is my son/she is my daughter. Not biologically duh but that's not important.

If he/she asked of course I would him/her but hopefully at that point they understand what a truly makes a family.

I plan on adopting when I'm married so I've thought about this a lot.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Is the officer going to ask for the butt, so he or she can check whether it is hot?


last.fm
Weaponized is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:39 AM   #46
WCPhils
^^vv<><>BAStart
 
WCPhils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob_Sacamano
I never really understood why being told you're adopted would be such a big deal.

yea
WCPhils is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:41 AM   #47
bradulator
through being cool
 
bradulator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
I would prefer to adopt and I will never tell it even if it's black hahahahaha
bradulator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:42 AM   #48
zdh
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Canada
I'm 21 right now - if my parents told me I was adopted, I'd be shocked. But I've had 21 years to bond and grow to love with the people I've only ever known as my real parents and I'm secure in my relationship with them. Any long-term effect is negligible.

If I'm 6, 8, 10, whatever, and I find out I'm adopted, I have to imagine this is a traumatic event. Your early years are for forming new relationships with your parents and friends, not reevaluating existing ones. I may not feel secure in how much I can trust to my adoption family, which I can only surmise would lead to further behavioural issues.
zdh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:42 AM   #49
whywefight
pray I pray I pray
 
whywefight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: I don't care where just far
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weaponized
It doesn't matter at all. If I'm raising my kid, that's that. He is my son/she is my daughter. Not biologically duh but that's not important.

If he/she asked of course I would him/her but hopefully at that point they understand what a truly makes a family.

I plan on adopting when I'm married so I've thought about this a lot.

So you're going to attempt to keep them from knowing?
whywefight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:44 AM   #50
WCPhils
^^vv<><>BAStart
 
WCPhils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
A 20 something would have to be pretty ******ed to not realize they look nothing like their parents. lol

Last edited by WCPhils : 01-12-2013 at 12:46 AM.
WCPhils is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:46 AM   #51
Skynyrd890
Unregistered User
 
Skynyrd890's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCPhils
Kids would have to be pretty ******ed to not realize they look nothing like there parents.

Not every parent adopts Ethiopian kids, you stereotyping shitbird!













I'm sorry....

EDIT - I see what you did there...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreadnought
Bitch idiot children
Skynyrd890 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:46 AM   #52
due 07
haaan
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCPhils
Kids would have to be pretty ******ed to not realize they look nothing like there parents.

well that's not cool. now you're shaming adopted kids for not realizing they were adopted because they're ******ed. pretty low tbh. plus lots of people don't have that striking of a resemblance to their parents.
due 07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:48 AM   #53
WCPhils
^^vv<><>BAStart
 
WCPhils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Quote:
Originally Posted by due 07
well that's not cool. now you're shaming adopted kids for not realizing they were adopted because they're ******ed. pretty low tbh.

It was kind of a joke

And I edited it so quickly


It was a bit mean how it was originally phrased. :/

Last edited by WCPhils : 01-12-2013 at 12:49 AM.
WCPhils is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:50 AM   #54
due 07
haaan
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
it's still mean, but i guess i can't change the fact that you think adults who don't know they're adopted are ******ed.
due 07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:51 AM   #55
WCPhils
^^vv<><>BAStart
 
WCPhils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Quote:
Originally Posted by due 07
it's still mean, but i guess i can't change the fact that you think adults who don't know they're adopted are ******ed.

y can't u just ignore my bad jokes due? im sorry ;_;

I obviously don't really think they're ******ed
WCPhils is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:52 AM   #56
Weaponized
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by whywefight
So you're going to attempt to keep them from knowing?

No, I'm not gonna stop them from knowing. Idk like I bet some **** aunt or uncle would just blurt "LOL UR ADOPTED AINT THAT SOME SHIT" so I'm probably gonna explain it to them, but not until they're ready. But it doesn't matter at all so whatever.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Is the officer going to ask for the butt, so he or she can check whether it is hot?


last.fm
Weaponized is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:58 AM   #57
due 07
haaan
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
i'm sensitive about this because my little sister is adopted and the way it [the fact of adoption] was treated really ****ed her up and caused pretty significant issues of insecurity and self-esteem. she's the coolest person on the planet, and i don't want to any other cool adopted little girls to have to grow up in a culture that tells them they ought to view their adoption through the lenses of secrecy and shame.
due 07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 12:58 AM   #58
bradulator
through being cool
 
bradulator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
**** stupid ******ed adopted kids

(except for due's sister)
bradulator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 01:00 AM   #59
whywefight
pray I pray I pray
 
whywefight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: I don't care where just far
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weaponized
No, I'm not gonna stop them from knowing. Idk like I bet some **** aunt or uncle would just blurt "LOL UR ADOPTED AINT THAT SOME SHIT" so I'm probably gonna explain it to them, but not until they're ready. But it doesn't matter at all so whatever.

alright, i was just interested
whywefight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 01:02 AM   #60
Eastwinn
provenance&provenience
 
Eastwinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Annapolis, MD
probably like before 1st grade or during. as soon as possible really. i think that's the earliest they would understand how adoption differs from birth, in general anyway. but i am not a parent so i actually wouldn't know.
Eastwinn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:24 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.