jonthorsigmunds

Hey UG

I've had this song ready for a while that just needed lyrics and I asked a friend for some help. Last night she came to me with an idea and a structure of lyrics which, ended up like this. Please rate and don't spare me at all!

A brief overview of the story:
The lyrics are about a young man who lost the love of his life because of difficulties. They ended on good terms and he's wondering if they still have a chance.

Here are the lyrics:

Can we pretend everythings alright
Can we build castles in the sky
If we start living like we’ll never die
What we lost we can find, if we try

We had it all for so long
Wish you were still here today
I thought we were too strong
Just to throw it all away

It feels so good when we’re together,
When you’re next to me, i could lay here forever
It’s like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

I don’t want to start again from scratch
You know you were always my biggest catch
When i was lost with no one in sight
You were always there to guide me, you were my light

It feels so good when we’re together
When you’re next to me, I could lay here forever
It’s like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

Give me a sign that your still mine
That I’m not in this alone
I’m not ready to say goodbye
You know i can’t stand to be on my own

Can we pretend everything's alright
Can we try to make it right, again

It feels so good when we’re together,
When you’re next to me, i could lay here forever
It's like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

© Jón Þór Sigmundsson

mr.retard

I really like this. especially

"Give me a sign that your still mine
That I’m not in this alone
I’m not ready to say goodbye
You know i can’t stand to be on my own"

i don't really like the line "Can we build castles in the sky" this may be a stupid question but what does that mean. maybe if i understood i would like that line.

i really like this. there are so many good lines. it's a solid piece of work. thanks for sharing.

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jonthorsigmunds

Thank you for your response

The part you liked is the bridge and I agree, I really like that part too!

To explain the line you disliked, I guess it was basically to support the first line. That was one of the lines we kept from the original structure. Let me try and explain:
Can we pretend everything's alright? - Self explained
Can we build castles in the sky? - Building castles in the sky is somewhat of a metaphor for something that's not real... If they pretend everything's alright, they are believing in something that isn't real.

Do you get where I'm going?

-Jon

RecnepsDaGreat

I think that this song has potential! Please share the finished song as well!

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jonthorsigmunds

Thank you!
It was written for a songwriting contest and we will probably record it soon. I will be sure to share it if we do!

mr.retard

I do now. Thanks for explaining. You have a great song.

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Making your day worse so tomorrow seems better.

jonthorsigmunds

Great Thank you for the feedback!

BjarnedeGraaf

seems like a solid song I hope you dont turn it into metalcore or ska or country or anything like that haha. would be a shame to not like a song with these kind of lyrics

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jonthorsigmunds

Don't worry, I won't ruin it :P
It's written as an acoustic song so no core there

AngryGoldfish

Please give the rules a quick read through regarding bumping and thread titles. I've edited this for you.

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