edmodo23

So, basically. about a month ago I kicked everyone out of my metalcore band and decided to go solo for a while. Everything has been going good, except for one thing.. The fat bassist recently got kicked out of his mom's house, and he has nowhere to go. He walks around the streets by day and mooches off other guys in the neighborhood by night. Like every day around 5ish, he shows up at my house asking for food because he knows we have a stash of hot pockets in our pantry and basement, regardless of how many times i've told him i'm done with him and want nothing to do with him. But that's not the point..
Recently he came over and spent the night at my house. We both got super drunk and had a giant argument over which is better, Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. I got tired and fell asleep, while he went and threw up on our dining room table and pissed on the floor, and also squirted our house cat with maple syrup.
I woke up the next morning with a massive headache, and for some reason he wanted to be an asshole and started blackmailing me with the fact that my mother had to go through major drug rehabilitation back in 2010.. It's just really stressful.
I really want this fat **** out of my life, but he won't leave.. I need advice.

whywefight

get a blog bro

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Rawshik

Eat him.

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BladeSlinger

Oh hey...Not like there are threads created for this.

And as a huge Star Wars fan, I would say without a doubt the Lord of the Rings wins. The influence on fantasy, and through fantasy sci-fi (Star Wars) is huge. His use of the trilogy also has had far reaching effects in literature.

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KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT

ahahaha 9/10 ty
I'm going to bed now
thanks

CoreysMonster

Does he have a key to your place or something? Just tell him to **** off and don't let him in.

EDIT: As movies, Star Wars is better. As literature, LOTR.

EDIT2: Oh it's album art guy again.

*yawn* I've heard better stories.

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edmodo23

Noooo, he's a fat 22-year old piece of shit. Gross..

ErikLensherr

Next time he comes around shoot him with a paintball gun.

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Joshua Garcia

tl;dr. Tell him to listen to bands like S!C and Pride Before the Fall and he won't want to be your friend no more. Problem solved.

Edit: Okay I read it. Tell him you'll threaten his ears by blasting bands like S!C and Pride Before the Fall as loud as possible. Problem solved.

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edmodo23

He does. Occasionally I walk home from show choir practice and when I enter the hoiuse the first thing I see is his fat ass spawled on the coach eating cheetos and watching some weird sitcom i've never heard of. I keep asking my mother to change the lock on our door, but she already works 14 hours a day, so there isnt much time for that..

Extra Ordinary

Sorry man but this is your problem because you let him into your home.
Also, blackmailing you about your mother isn't much dirt anyway. So he's just going to be spreading useless gossip.

Weaponized

kill him

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Weaponized

then you do it ******

god the answer is so simple man

dont act like you dont know what to do. Its cool to share your story and stuff but dont try and squeeze sympathy out of us when the answer is ****ing obvious. ****

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captaincrunk

call the police

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KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT

ahahahah 9/10 ty
alright im actually going now

thanks

edmodo23

Lol you mad brah??

blizzboy

Here's the good part, for those wondering.

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AxeToFall

So he's 22, therefore I assume you are about the same age. Thus, you should be old enough to not let someone sleep in your house & eat your food.

Dregen

next time you go home take off your pants, then proceed to walk in the living room and grab your penis while asking him if he can check out this mole because it looks like cancer.