01-24-2013, 12:25 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
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("Symphonic") Metalcore Intro [need help to expand]
Hey there,
I wrote this piece a while ago, however I'm still stuck with it and fail to expand it into a full song. Any ideas, advices, feedback, help, critisism would be great! |
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01-24-2013, 02:37 PM
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#2 | ||
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Pulling straws at random
Join Date: May 2008
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Wow, capture the crown much?
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01-24-2013, 03:57 PM
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#3 | |
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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I'm not a huge fan of them so I'll just take it as negative critic ;D Last edited by tac_sundome : 01-24-2013 at 04:15 PM. |
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01-24-2013, 04:06 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2007
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I find that the intro is way too similiar to This is Halloween from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
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http://www.tesma.se/ <- Le musac!1 |
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01-24-2013, 07:08 PM
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#5 | |||
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Pulling straws at random
Join Date: May 2008
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I was totally gonna say that, even closer to the MManson version as well.
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01-24-2013, 07:16 PM
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#6 | |
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UG Freak
Join Date: Oct 2009
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lol
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01-24-2013, 08:34 PM
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#7 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
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I don't mind if they're alike. I like Danny Elfman (:
Anyway, this quickly turned out to be a "What song does this remind you of" thread so I guess I won't get any further with this. I'm a bit disappointed, expected a bit more from this board. Last edited by tac_sundome : 01-24-2013 at 08:47 PM. |
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01-24-2013, 08:57 PM
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#8 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2011
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Lol, what the heck is going on here? Anyhow, you could put in a small interlude there. Maybe a couple of violins, one playing a new melody, another a variation of the original theme. Something like that. Then suddenly bring the guitars back in for an epic chorus section. The interlude should be pretty quiet and serene, then make the next bit really heavy for some contrast. Just an idea anyway.
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01-24-2013, 09:05 PM
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#9 | |
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UG Freak
Join Date: Oct 2009
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needs more tritones, not enough 2006
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01-24-2013, 10:44 PM
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#10 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2008
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You shouldn't expect much from UG. It's comprised of elitists who hate metalcore and line 6 spider amps. You posting a generic metalcore piece was a red flag asking to be trolled. One thing I would suggest is add a four bar to the riff the 3 bars and repeat makes it sound unresolved. |
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01-24-2013, 11:16 PM
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#11 |
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blindly firing
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: south dakota, united states
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really generic. i wouldn't have a problem with that, considering i do actually enjoy a lot of bands people would call generic, but it's just... boring. way too 'safe'. you really do need some kind of build up instead of straight up chugging on the same chord. the melody stays in the same range, and it's really too predictable. make some drum fills. experiment with new chords and shapes. new melodies and straying into higher and/or lower notes. counterpoint. fuck around with the rhythm - polymetrics, variations in speed. something. right now, you need recognize and avoid where your mind is telling you to go because this is pretty stale.
i don't mean this as an offense, the first stuff i wrote was way worse than this. i'm also not saying don't write (nu)metalcore, but make it interesting and experiment. Last edited by Dregen : 01-24-2013 at 11:26 PM. |
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01-25-2013, 02:41 AM
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#12 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Yeah, I disagree. If it wasn't for you, Ometh, and Epi, there would be no trolling in this subforum. You guys truly belong to the pit, and it's actually extremely annoying having to see you guys here doing nothing constructive. I don't frequently comment due to the fact that, if I don't like the style, I don't bother commenting on something without constructive criticism to give. Srsly, get over your biases and just give some actual crit for once. You're starting to sound like the idiots on the front page reviewing bands they hate just for something to do, then giving them negative reviews just cause they aren't "true progressive-polka-grunge-death-metal" or whatever the ****. Truthfully, if I knew any of the mods on this forum, I'd be reporting you guys by now. As for the song, I think that if you shifted the violins up an octave, it'd sound a lot better. After that part I'd suggest moving into a faster section with more upbeat sounds going on, but that's just me. |
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01-25-2013, 07:52 AM
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Pulling straws at random
Join Date: May 2008
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Problem 1: Learn what trolling is, you have no clue. Not sure I can vouch for Ometh on this one. Problem 2: Its a generic metalcore peice, I gave up being constructive with those at least 2 years ago. Problem 3: Thats why I'm not reviewing for a while. Problem 4: Comparing sounds is a perfectly legitimate criticism. It shows the strength of your material, as well as showing the pitfalls of the other band you're comparing to, and if the song you're originally comparing has the same pitfalls. In this case, sounding even remotely similar to This is Halloween just makes the entire song sound goofy. Problem 5: I do genuinely help people here, and probably about 6 or so times now (probably more, but I dont keep count), people have been genuinely thankful for whatever altered version I upload or whatever things I suggest. I could this time if OP wanted me to, but there's no accounting for if he'd like what I have to suggest.
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01-25-2013, 10:16 AM
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#14 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2008
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1. You are the lesser of the 3 evils, but you still are trolling either way.
2. Then why comment on something like this? 3. Noticed that. Might as well just not comment then. 4. The way you compared them sounded more like trolling than anything. If you made a reference comparing them instead of, "xxx band much?" or "this sounds like a ripoff of" you would sound less like a troll. Wording makes a difference. 5. I have seen you help people but I've seen you do you fair share of ****ing around to others expenses as well. |
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01-25-2013, 10:24 AM
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#15 | ||||||
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UG Freak
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Shit, you made me feel important, thank you  Quote:
Yeah, I wasn't trolling, it does sound generic as hell and pretty tame. I'd give a proper crit but I don't really have the time atm, maybe next week? I'll even review that other "thrash" song thread I posted in like a week ago or smth. Quote:
This is bad but I'm also guilty of this. I'll occasionally post a huge crit point out stuff to improve upon and such, but I'm lazy lol. Also, it's pretty dumb to call me out on not reviewing anything for a while since most of my normal reviews look like this: Quote:
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I also reviewed a full album liek twice so u got nuthin on me brah
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Last edited by Ometh : 01-25-2013 at 10:34 AM. |
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01-25-2013, 10:49 AM
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#16 | |
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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Tl;dr |
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01-25-2013, 04:00 PM
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#17 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
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Thanks for the ideas guys, I have actually more clue now on where to go from this point. Resolving tension seem to be a problem for me, I've posted another song like a week ago and someone noted the same problem. So thanks for the helpful posts, it's actually really useful.
Ometh; I'm not trying to make something unique or new, or even impressive, because I know my limits as a musican. I'm here to improve and to hear other musicans opinions, which I think is the first step. I understand that we are on a different level when it comes to writing and that it can be quite frustrating seeing works like this over and over again. But, we are trying to achieve the same goal; to write good music, express ourselves, etc. So you should atleast feel some empathy that if you can't say something constructive why say anything at all? It's just pointless. |
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01-26-2013, 06:37 AM
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#18 |
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UG Board King
Join Date: May 2007
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It's sort of well written but at the same time it's just about the most painfully generic piece I've ever seen on here. It's almost every metalcore cliché in one song.
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Last edited by frankibo : 01-26-2013 at 06:40 AM. |
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01-26-2013, 06:58 AM
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#19 | |
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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Sounds like laziness to me. If you put your mind to it, you can do great things- instead you 'know your limits' and did something we've all heard before. The only reason UG is so full of anti-metalcore elitism is (in my opinion, I don't claim to speak for anyone but myself) because as musicians, we lean toward music connoisseur-ism, and listen to A LOT of music by different people. We're naturally going to be frustrated and cynical towards music that is blatantly derivative of other works. Metalcore these days is the nu-metal of the early 00s, the post-grunge of the late 90s, and the hair metal of the 80s. Metalcore musicians should get some self-esteem and try to push their boundaries. It's pretty telling that the most progressive, engaging metalcore band these days (again imho) is Converge, and they've been doing their shtick for 20 years. I thought we had something with djent, but then that went and got boring, too. Sorry if I come off as douchey, but the stagnation of this genre has been bugging me for weeks now. /soapbox |
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01-26-2013, 07:28 AM
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#20 | |||
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Pulling straws at random
Join Date: May 2008
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