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Old 01-31-2013, 05:58 PM   #21
mtshark
is the bees knees
 
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Nominate this man for a Pulitzer
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:59 PM   #22
snipelfritz
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Hug like an actual boss. Business hugs!


but really, OP was pretty great.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:03 PM   #23
Nero Galon
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Jesus man, why are you giving out such good advise for free?

You should be selling this coveted technique.

By the way, can I borrow 50k to pay my lawyer because I accidentally killed a girl when I hugged her (yes you warned me about the uni-beams but I needed more practice!)
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:04 PM   #24
magnus_maximus
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Holy shit this exceeded my expectations in every way.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:11 PM   #25
Demon Wolf
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proper boss hug
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:13 PM   #26
Sam Rulez D00d
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You sir have won the internet.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:23 PM   #27
Joshua Garcia
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I picked one sentence to read from all that and it was this:

Quote:
As it hits your heart divide it into three parts (quickly man, we don't have all day! There are a lot of people waiting for hugs out there!!).

I have gotten what I needed from all this. So thank you. That is all.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:36 PM   #28
bloodtrocuted93
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Haha, this is wonderful. But let's not underestimate the significance to use hugs for warmth! My dealer and I spent two minutes hugging once for the sole purpose of keeping warm, because smoking outside in December kind of sucks. With big boobed friends, sometimes it's necessary to adjust the position so prevent them smashing together. But it's all good. Now I wanna hug someone, haha.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:51 PM   #29
Zaphikh
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Originally Posted by bloodtrocuted93
Haha, this is wonderful. But let's not underestimate the significance to use hugs for warmth! My dealer and I spent two minutes hugging once for the sole purpose of keeping warm, because smoking outside in December kind of sucks. With big boobed friends, sometimes it's necessary to adjust the position so prevent them smashing together. But it's all good. Now I wanna hug someone, haha.

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Old 01-31-2013, 06:56 PM   #30
frankv
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You know what, Jak? You're quite alright, you!

Now come over here and spread that love like we're making a PB&J sandwich.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:08 PM   #31
Crofty89
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If one party does not end up severely bruised and with possible bone fractures, it is not a true hug!
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:19 PM   #32
Primus2112
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Originally Posted by Zaphikh


jesus
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:36 PM   #33
snipelfritz
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EDIT: ****, thought I was in the chat thread...
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Last edited by snipelfritz : 01-31-2013 at 11:18 PM.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:39 PM   #34
Saint78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SonicJakTheSack
When hugging someone do NOT act as if you are hugging your stinky aunt may that you have to see twice a year in order to stay in the will. This just aint going to fly. Be a fakebitch on your time!
A hug is not about you... wow, that was kind of simplistically profound...let's all say it again, together this time.

A HUG IS NOT ABOUT YOU

Very nice.

I see, I need to return to WHAT for just a moment.
A hug is:
The physical representation of your feelings for the hugee (not HUGE-e, HU-gee), i.e; deep regard, emotional attachment, honoring the person for being, etc.
The best way to transfer energy to someone.
Boobie crushing...sigh...yeah....Magnificent spheres of glutinous joy tipped with delectable points...ahem..um...

HOW...yes...the HOW!

Wrap your arms around your chosen victu..er, targe...um..PERSON! yes, person! no,no,no,no...not around their neck! DO NOT CRUSH THAT WINDPIPE! Are you listening to me? Good..

Taller people should wrap their arms over the shorter persons. Shorter people, grab dat ass!

Hugging is NOT squeezing your arms tight! The proper hug starts in your toes. Bring that energy up, feel it buzzing up your legs, let it linger in your groin...perhaps let it linger just a bit longer, feel it warming your belly. As it hits your heart divide it into three parts (quickly man, we don't have all day! There are a lot of people waiting for hugs out there!!). Let two waves of energy shoot down each arm and unleash the uni-beam of pure unadulterated love shoot from your heart (caution is urged here so that you do not blow the heads off of REALLY short people).

NOW the tricky part, the energy in your arms must be shot out of your palms like repulser beams to keep said person in the warm circle of your embrace or they risk being propelled to Japan by you heart uni-beam.

Let me take a moment here to answer any miscellaneous questions..
Back patting?
For guy to guy hugs... definitely. It lends itself to the illusion of a hearty chuck on the shoulder and removes any homoerotic overtones.
For guy to female...not so much, you want to make her feel special, not like she just scored a touchdown.
Female to female in a glorious boobcrushing crescendo of mammary mashing magnificence...sigh..wait, what was the question? nevermind

Rocking? Hmm... tougher one, generally I say no, unless you are lip locked at the moment. Others may think you are dancing and call in a Baptist to break things up.

How long do you hold a hug?
A minimum of two deep soul searing breaths. Three is better. Five is GREAT (although it is understood at events and such that time and public orgasm may limit this number).
Why? You want to breath in all that is the person you hold. You want your energy to flow through them and back to you a perfect circuit of love and acceptance. You want to acknowledge to the person you are hugging that you love them because they are such a wonderful person who although flawed is accepted by you, absolutely. Of course in turn, hopefully they accept all the ****ed up shit that is the essence of you.

Now that you understand the concept, have been practicing on family, pets, trees and random light poles. Joinup Be counted! Get out there and Hug Someone!!


i love you.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:52 PM   #35
Horsedick.MPEG
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint78
i love you.


Really now?



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Old 01-31-2013, 11:15 PM   #36
skylerjames13
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i kinda have a semi hard on now
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:08 AM   #37
AcidParadox
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Awesome, just wonderful work. I give it ten-thousand thumbs up!
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:17 AM   #38
BuckinFuffalo
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lik dis if u cry evertim
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:19 AM   #39
Dregen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snipelfritz
Hug like an actual boss. Business hugs!


but really, OP was pretty great.


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Old 02-01-2013, 12:36 AM   #40
=w=eeze
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It kinda feels like this was copypasted from somewhere else or transcribed from a video or something. Whatever the case, whoever did write it is brilliant.
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