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Old 02-01-2013, 05:51 PM   #81
theogonia777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snipelfritz
How much does a polar bear weigh?



Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm *insert name here*.


More like:

How much does a polar bear weight?

Ursus maritimus weights on average about 1200 lbs but can weigh anywhere from 750-1500 lbs depending on numerous factors such as the time of the year. Sows typically weigh about half as much as a boar.

Quality bitches love trivia. Is it weird that I know that off of the top of my head?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolmnt
That's right I have a four inch penis.


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Old 02-01-2013, 05:51 PM   #82
Gantz92
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Some of my favorites that work errytime.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep whith me ?
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:52 PM   #83
Todd Hart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gantz92
My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?


If you weren't trying to bend her over the edge of your bed this would be almost sweet.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:54 PM   #84
Trowzaa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
More like:

How much does a polar bear weight?

Ursus maritimus weights on average about 1200 lbs but can weigh anywhere from 750-1500 lbs depending on numerous factors such as the time of the year. Sows typically weigh about half as much as a boar.

Quality bitches love trivia. Is it weird that I know that off of the top of my head?


And then you don't even say your name and walk away. She'll be wondering for the rest of the night who you are and will eventually wozzle your snozzle.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:57 PM   #85
JackWhiteIsButts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whywefight
I don't think its the best idea to psychologically irritate someone over the internet to find out if they're being physically abused. It seems counterproductive to me

Psychologically irritating people is often the best way to get them to speak their minds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenoUnion
Woah, woah! I'm no woman! >:| I'm a gay man.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.
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if the greeks were serious about turning their economy around they'd exploit the oil reserves in their hair and skin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xiaoxi
I hope there will be more mass shootings. At least 4-5 a week. I want it so that everyone is personally affected.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:57 PM   #86
snipelfritz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adamgur96
Before your edit it was lame, now it's great.

I know, right? glad I came up with it as it was posting.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:00 PM   #87
whywefight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JackWhiteIsButts
Psychologically irritating people is often the best way to get them to speak their minds.

You must be wonderful to talk to in real life
Quote:
Originally Posted by JackWhiteIsButts
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.

Now what possible information do you hope to get from this
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:02 PM   #88
theogonia777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whywefight
Now what possible information do you hope to get from this


The guy's phone number, because that's what RU's ideal partner is like.
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To die without leaving a corpse... That is the way of us Garo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lolmnt
That's right I have a four inch penis.


Now you have no excuse... | On Toni Loomi - Riffs
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:03 PM   #89
JenoUnion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JackWhiteIsButts
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.


Holy shit, that made me laugh so hard XD Kudos
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:03 PM   #90
whywefight
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^Is it..... is it actually working? RUE, you genius....
Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
The guy's phone number, because that's what RU's ideal partner is like.

A noble cause. Carry on, RUE
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:10 PM   #91
JackWhiteIsButts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whywefight
You must be wonderful to talk to in real life
Surprisingly I get pretty good feedback, people are offended at first when I insult them but then when they realize I do it to everyone and I'm not just singling them out they think it's funny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
The guy's phone number, because that's what RU's ideal partner is like.

Naw, I'm just trying to score her number so I can not call her and cripple her self-esteem.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by primusfan
if the greeks were serious about turning their economy around they'd exploit the oil reserves in their hair and skin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xiaoxi
I hope there will be more mass shootings. At least 4-5 a week. I want it so that everyone is personally affected.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:13 PM   #92
leony03
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"My name's Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat right over there.

On my knob."
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Originally Posted by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:21 PM   #93
snipelfritz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leony03
"My name's Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat right over there.

On my knob."

"You see, you're Chris Hansen, but I like to call you Chris Handsome..."
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:25 PM   #94
leony03
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snipelfritz
"You see, you're Chris Hansen, but I like to call you Chris Handsome..."


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Quote:
Originally Posted by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:29 PM   #95
Saint78
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hay babby wunna mak a few diploid cells? or i can just put some gametes on ur tonsles
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:47 PM   #96
SFosterS
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I say something funny about something around at that time - if she laughs I say "I'm Foster" and then follow up with more light funnies until I can start asking her questions about her.

seems to work often enough
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The deadbeatS

Do What Your Love Tells You

Last edited by SFosterS : 02-01-2013 at 06:50 PM.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:53 PM   #97
Nero Galon
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Normally I sing teh ladies this, works every time.

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Old 02-01-2013, 06:55 PM   #98
Saint78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SFosterS
I say something funny about something around at that time - if she laughs I say "I'm Foster" and then follow up with more light funnies until I can start asking her questions about her.

seems to work often enough


i like yr sig. uncle acid is pr cool.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:58 PM   #99
treborillusion
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"Hi."

or

"Wanna cigarette? -- What's in it for me?"

or

"Bocat"

or even this one time I got head when my friend introduced me to this girl he was with and was like
"That's Slash"
and I was like
"Hello"
(People used to call me Slash).
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Quote:
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look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:01 PM   #100
WantsLesPaul
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ey bb ur like da sun n im earth toegrth were 1 but sumday ure fire will die n ill grow cold w7o sunlight n il freeze bb ill die id freeze n dye 4 u*

*dis where da paties dro
p
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