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Old 02-06-2013, 05:24 AM   #61
loose bowels
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Quote:
glasgow boys say this instead of blade (knife) big ass butcher knife preferably so a sheffield is a knife
wheres the sheffield plug this fanny, take his eye out


Not sure if this is true but nice anyway.
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:36 AM   #62
Thrashtastic15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burlington Ontario
A growing city located between Hamilton and Toronto. Only Burlingtonians know that there is a difference between kids from millcroft, southburlington and lakeshore. Millcrofters along with orchard kids are assholes shat out by rich people and are extremely sheltered for most of their lives. Although willing to take on any pussy from Oakville Burlingtonians will forever be weary of those from Hamilton.
Burlington Kid: **** you oakville fight me!
Oakville kid: I would but i can't... because i dont want to hurt you thats it...ya!
Burlington Kid: Okay bud Okay bud


Whoever wrote it is a dumbass.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:04 AM   #63
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Most of them were for the wrong Chelmsford (the one in Massachusetts ) but I found this gem:

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Silly place in essex where evryone finks there solid n dapper. U got some crews like melbourne and moulsham who r total wankers.

In chelmsford uve got a cinema one end and about a 25 min walk away theres an ice rink. Loadsa clubs full of chavs. Theres a mcdonalds n dats where da melbourne crew chillax. Chavs.

All in all its a shitty town wiv **** all to do except get chased or go to a club.

Btw the leader of da melbourne crew is 15/16 and called "turtle" lol wat a prick.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:10 AM   #64
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Is a large town past Livermore down in the valley over the Altamount. People who live there say they're from the Bay Area when realistically they're part of the Central Valley along with Stockton, Modesto and Manteca. You will know when you have entered Tracy because of the smell of cow manuer in the air coming through the vents of your car. People who don't live in Tracy mainly go there for the outlet or Sonic's because theres no Sonic's anywhere in the Bay.

The teens and some 20somethings act "gangster" and believe they were from Oakland when they were born there in Cow Town. The people here are diverse but not as diverse as the Bay Area. The majority nationality is Mexican, then White, the Asian, then Black and the rest.

There isn't anything to do in Tracy but go out to eat, shop and hang around. Its common in Tracy to see kids waving signs, thats because they are pointing to the houses/model homes for sale.

So stop by Tracy off of the freeway from Livermore and get some Sonics.
Lets go to Tracy california to buy Sonics and park on lawns.


this is depressing
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:10 AM   #65
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Essen is the Hottest German City
will be cultural capital of Europe in - 2010
is rising and is an Urban Jungle

whatch this space............
"yo im thinking of goin Essen"
"yeah that place is hot,"



And, to add another fact: Dave Mustaines Mother was born in Essen... I am not sure if this is a good thing or not....
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:14 AM   #66
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scarborough ontario

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Scarborough is suposed to be a "suburb" of Toronto, when in fact it really isnt. There are a few areas that consist of very nice housing JUST like every other city, and also has its horrible looking areas JUST like every other city. Scarborough is a very multicultural area that consists of mainly these cultures in order of population; Asian, Tamils/Brown men, Black, White. Scarborough is known for its high-crime rate and drug related activity. Unlike other troubled areas that have groups of individuals that dvide themselves by race, Scarborough is known for its multi-cultural gangs and crime groups. There are many who claim that Scarborough is a very nice "suburb" to live in and that there really isnt any crime that goes on. What you need to know about those people is that they are completly oblivious to the crime that goes on because they are not there to witness it. The Scarbrough drugs of choice are of the following in order by popularity; Weed, Extacy, Mushrooms, Cocaine. Scarbz is an E-Tard area.

DO NOT get caught walking on these streets at night; down Mccowen anywhere between Sheppard and Mcnicoll, anywhere down Birchmount, Eglinton and Warden, Sandhurst circle, the Grove aka 25 Thunder Grove, Anson Taylor school, Percy Williams school, Albert Campbell school, Timmothy Eaton school, Don Mills strip.
Scarborough
Scarrr town
Scarbz
Borough
'the' Borough


tbh i was expecting better. anyone care to entertain me and rip my city a new asshole?

and i've been to a couple of those places at late hours.. i'm a pussy too so there you go
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:18 AM   #67
slash_GNR666
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A resident of Manchester is known as a "Mancunian". They are typified by their strange loyalty to Manchester. Often waylaying people from other cities to tell them all about Manchester. See Terry Christian.


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Old 02-06-2013, 06:20 AM   #68
Johnny_Ibanez
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^ Fuckin' Manc ninja'd!

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A cool cosmopolitan city in the north west england, which is home to many rich celebrities, football teams, Harvey NIchols, 2 selfridges, the Trafford Centre and so much more.
Its just a shame the narrow minded Scousers cant see past their flea ridden, chav invaded so called city.
A small sketch showing the difference in class between a young man from manchester, and his Scouse equivelent

Mancunnian: "Excuse me kind Sir, do you have a light for my cigerette?
Scouser: "is you calling me mam? Cos if you are, I is gonna deck ya in ya wanker"

SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN CLASS???


Seems legit.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:21 AM   #69
willT08
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Hertford:
A peaceful town in the UK, despite having an alcohol problem, and lots of places which under 18's can get served.

Guy 1: Ah mate I wanna get pissed this weekend.
Guy 2: Yeah but we are only 16!
Guy 3: Lets go to Hertford. We can get stuff there!
I'm okay with this
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:22 AM   #70
Thrashtastic15
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There are many who claim that Scarborough is a very nice "suburb" to live in

Try
Quote:
There are many people who claim that Scarborough is a very nice "suburb" to live in. These people have ingested these drugs in the following order before claiming that: Weed, Extacy, Mushrooms, Cocaine.


I've only been to Scarborough once. I was born in Oakville, like I'm going to go to Scarborough. I won't go lower than Hamilton on the shit scale.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:35 AM   #71
slash_GNR666
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Location: Manchester, England
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny_Ibanez
^ Fuckin' Manc ninja'd!

Quote:
Mancunnian: "Excuse me kind Sir, do you have a light for my cigerette?


Seems legit.


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Quote:
Originally Posted by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




Quote:
Originally Posted by BladeSlinger
You really are the worst kind of person.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:38 AM   #72
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Location: On a Small Ugly Rock In Space, Surrounded By Over 7,000,000,000 Ignorant Cunts And Retąrds....... Status: If I Just Posted This Then I Probably Have Too Much Spare Time.....
I searched Israel and there was nothing racist or funny

This thread is great though
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:41 AM   #73
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Newport 75 up, 46 down
Newport is a city in south wales. It's highlights include Pill, Murder Central, Duffryn, Drug Land, Ringland, Home to teenage pregnancy, Mauland, Home to the care-home children,the shittycentre and many more. Newport has a selection of drug addicts, pregnant teenagers, benefit cheats, council estates and chavs. It is not uncommon to be approached outside newport train station by nasty infected hookers or chavs asking for cigarettes from the Pupil referral unit around the corner, full of Newport's wildest teenagers, incidentally right next to a primary school of small children. The centre hosts a fantastic greggs pasty shop and Everything-For-A-Pound Shop. Newport does not have a Poundland. If you happen to stop in newport, be sure to thoroughly cleanse yourself afterwards as there is a high risk of contracting bird flu due to the pidgins that just wont, or maybe cant, fly away from the foyer on Newports bank (Robbed 305 times since 2003) You will also find that Newport offers a complimentary mugging service to all visitors provided by the youth there. And sometimes the mothers of the youths. Because the mothers are still youths. Newport citizens enjoy weed. Most "females" in newport have no idea what their natural skin colour is due to the copious amounts of shit, or foundation smeared across their skin. Normal, good, newport citizens are rare, but can be found hiding under rocks.
Man Exiting Train Station. Something that resembles a woman approaches.

Woman-Thing: I'll **** yer' for a pasty

Man moves on past the shop

Chav who has escaped the referral unit: OHHHHHHHH MATE. Go in't shop for us?

Newport Child: Mum pass me the spliff?
Newport Mum: **** off Shakira! Go mug a bitch.


Quote:
newport 59 up, 95 down
Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.
Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)


...
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:45 AM   #74
FireFromTheVoid
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centerpoint, alabama
city right off of Birmingham, Alabama.

its a ghetto place, and you can frequently hear police chases and drug busts on the Parkway.

dont walk the streets at night, and watch out for the homeless drunks and druggies that inhabit the interstate exits. they will walk right up to your vehicle so make sure not to make eye contact and always leave your windows up.

there are so many churches almost always under baptist or methodist names through this area, but be wary. the preachers and pastors are probably gang members.

Brodregus: i didnt know that place was so ghetto! it was almost like walking through Centerpoint.

Quindacea: mmmhmm, i aint never seen so many hobos under the bridge as i seen in centerpoint, alabama

Nicholas: do you ACTUALLY live in centerpoint?
Peter: no way! i could never live in such a slum!!


the only entry
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:12 AM   #75
Haures
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MANILA: The most dirtiest and polluted city and capital known to man. Gas{car exhaust} is everywhere, abandoned children with dirty faces somewhat "attack" your car while riding around. Pickpockets and 1 peso *****s are common. Muslim extremists are also everywhere ready to kidnap you at any given moment. Also, "Manila" is a place somewhere in the world where the political bigshots are. Thats the REAL definition of "Manila".


I kinda lol'ed at that
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:07 AM   #76
cptcomet
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A town full of inbreds, each of them having 6 fingers of at least one of their hands. Their football team is renowned for being able to play better in the snow and icy conditions than other teams, due to the fact that their four legs do not slip as much.
Guy 1: "Damn, we lost to Norwich. No-one ever loses to Norwich."

Guy 2: "Was it snowing?"

Guy 1: "Yes?"

Guy 2: "There's your problem. Bunch of inbreds"


Not very nice, but I thought that was quite funny.

EDIT: Saw it was written by someone called Tractaboooyy so probably from Norwich himself.
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:15 AM   #77
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Liverpool is the best city in the world. Liverpool is culturally diverse and the people are a joy to be around. Liverpool is also a fantastic night out mainly due to the fact that Scousers love a good laugh and know how to have a good time. Unfortunatly Liverpool constantly battles with sterotyping usually believed by narrow minded idiots who have never actually visited the European Capital of Culture. Don't get me wrong Liverpool has its problems, but no more than any other big city.

Quote:
A city with a great nightlife, helped greatly by the fact that the (usually aesthetically pleasing) women enjoying which tend to demonstrate a relatively high level of assertiveness, when it comes to initiating kisses and flirtatious actions. Definitely one of the easiest places in which to pull. Just a shame about the aggressive, mentally-deficient Scallies who inhabit the place.

Quote:
place full of the nicest people you'l meet in a city all you steriotypical gimps should actually visit this city before you diss it, but you probably havent even been cos your too lower class

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Old 02-06-2013, 08:18 AM   #78
sam b
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Location: Suomi
Jyvaskyla 11 up, 3 down
The city in Finland and you can feel -30 degrees sometimes in January or February. It has nice "nature" as Finnish people say but during the winter, you can not see that nature because of darkness and snow. You can see many students and many drunk people on the streets. The city is also famous with erasmus students
I was in Jyvaskyla last semester and I lost my room's key so I paid 20 euro just to open it.

In Jyvaskyla I fell down from the bike in the night because I was so drunk.






Sounds about right
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Old 02-06-2013, 10:12 AM   #79
KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
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Location: Sirius
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A northern town full of pakis, chavs, real men, hard bastards, murders and frequent riots.

Not to be ****ed with.

Southerner: Where are you from?
Bradfordian: Bradford, mate.
Southerner: Ouch, I hear it's rough up there. If I were to venture into that particular area, I'd need to take my mummy for company.
Bradfordian: **** off, you soft southern ****.

Haha
yeah nigga


Quote:
An absolute bum-hole of a town (yes I said town, Leeds is a city!) full of roadworks, dickheads, burglars, druggies and knobbers.

The best plan that Bradford council had for one corner of the town was to knock it down. Which they did.
Now the best idea they are currently building is a pond in the centre of town, which one week after the fanfares and grand openings of it, will be full of crisp packets, used johnnies and dead tramps. Quite how the planning is improving things, we don;t know, but it certainly has help shift the European anti-depressant mountain thanks to all the depressed souls littering the town.

You want somewhere nice to visit? Go to Leeds or Halifax. Want to see a basement that has taken 3 years to build or the remains of a dead beggar next to a skip? Come visit the sights of 'sunny' Bradford

What the **** are we doing here? It's shit in Bradford!


Quote:
A Northern city which is near leeds and is based in West yorkshire. Its a tuff town and if any of u soft southernas tink ya can cum up ull get murked by us bradford boysh coz us Northerns dnt take nicely to sketish southernas. All i can say about Bradford is da riots between different races.
Bradford=Might of the North

Bradford the town where none locals get murked

ahahahahahah yes

Quote:
Its high street is on a ****ing slope too.

Don't know why I laughed so much at that last one but ahahahha

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Old 02-06-2013, 10:18 AM   #80
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Location: Shrewsbury, Shropshire
A small village* that regularly floods and is located in Shropshire, too close really to Wolverhampton for most people's liking. The town is also nicknamed "Salop", however none of the locals seem to know why. Many refer to it as "The Shire".

*It's not a village. The rest is true.
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