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Old 02-07-2013, 12:08 AM   #1
unicornicopia
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Dinner Parties: An Analysis

I remember once you hosted
a dinner party
all your loved ones
and your futures and your might'ves
were all gathered round
eating god knows how many courses
and drinking from a pricy bottle of
Chateau Margaux

And you looked at me
as if anything I told you would've
been the best news you'd heard
in your life

I'd been asked to prepare a toast
having two possible options
one: to say what was expected
or
two: to say would should be said

but how you tell someone,
look them in their
lovely adoring face and tell them,
"your expensive wine
still tastes like shit"
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Old 02-08-2013, 02:31 PM   #2
the bartender
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Well done . There's a few typo's or omittings here and there, so you might wanna check that, but apart from that it's a good piece.
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To sacrifice these children

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Old 02-08-2013, 03:34 PM   #3
Nilchii
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Bla-bla-bla

I like
to think that line breaks in
poetry ought
to serve some artistic
purpose or
at least give


some kind of clue as
to how

the

poet means for his
poem to be read. Thank
you for

pointing out the

error in
my delusion.

Oh, and your joke's very droll.
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Last edited by Nilchii : 02-08-2013 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:42 PM   #4
boldeng
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:10 PM   #5
the bartender
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You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children

You must not do it anymore
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:38 PM   #6
unicornicopia
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Line breaks are my weaker point always. Should probably edit stuff before I post it but I never do. Oh well.
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