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Old 02-08-2013, 08:22 PM   #1
boratian
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Pot [C4C] Prog Metalish song highly influence by Tosin Abasi

https://soundcloud.com/the-left-turns/red-matter

I wrote the originally structure of this song back in August 2012, and it was originally in Ab minor on a 7 string in standard Eb tuning. Today I decided to replace all of the drum samples with much higher quality samples and re-do the whole song in F minor. I did this by basically turning my 7 string into an 8 string minus the top E string. It's a baritone (29" neck) Agile Septor and I've been wanting to experiment with this tuning for awhile. I'm pretty happy with the result! Although the song isn't at the quality I like my songs to be at now, I'm still content

What I'm looking for with critiques:
- How's the guitar tones? This is my first try with such a low tuning
- There is no bass track because I need a 5 string bass and only have a 4 string, it'd simply be buried in the mix. Do you think it NEEDS a bass track?
- How's the song itself flow? I went for a very progressive approach in the writing but I feel like it still holds together well.
- Anything else that you feel may be a necessary change or tweaking, do not hesitate to comment, I'm always looking to improve my production!

Thanks for listening! I will C4C guaranteed, just link me what song you want me to critique in return.
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:04 PM   #2
Fall of Allan
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where did u get those drums at thats what im looking for in my reecordings since i am only doing solo songs nice track tho maybe turn down the drums in the verse sounding part other then that pretty sweet
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:16 PM   #3
boratian
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The drum program is called Hydrogen, and the kit I used was the GSCW-1 and GSCW-2 kits, using various samples from each (type them into google, they should be easy to find). I find them to be very dynamic considering the fact the program is free. I currently use EzDrummer +Metalheads expansion however, and like the sounds and dynamics much better. The kick I used was actually from this site: http://seraphrecordings.com/samples
Theyve got a bunch...well a couple of free ones, one of which I used and blended with another kick I'd been using that had more low end.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:03 PM   #4
Bazz22
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I'm not the best with tone, but this sounded decent.
I think a bass would really help round out the sound.
I like the whole song, and this is just an opinion thing, but I don't really like the bends in the beginning. That's just me though, the song as a whole was excellent.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:30 PM   #5
rojomeansred
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First off badass song man.
In the intro I would do exactly as you do until about 25 in and the last time your play that part harmonize it, just the last time. The next part also would do well harmonized after the first couple play throughs... Love the tone of the guitar, maybe just a little heavy on the distortion? I think a bass that almost sounds like the strings are bright and loose would really give the low parts like when you first enter full band and that groove riff some real jangly beef! Fantastic job on the drums, I'm definitely going to be downloading what you used and try it out.






This is one of my bands songs, check it out I think you'll enjoy it as we are pretty progressive as well, are you in a band or anything?
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Last edited by rojomeansred : 02-08-2013 at 10:32 PM.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:42 PM   #6
L2112Lif
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As I go:

- First thing, I kinda wish the tone was a bit... I think it bleeds a bit, the chords could use more seperation and muting, so the more legato single-notes could stand out.

- You can really use the delay to fill in extra notes, but it's set up a bit oddly.

- That chord progression at the end of the clean part is weird, and really feels rushed. Slow yourself down, free-time that shit. You've got all the time in the world before the rest of the song.

- This part is great, those drums are pretty damn cool. Guitar tones are great.

- Missing a few notes isn't really a problem... Oh, well... Now with this kick bit the drums sound ridiculously fake. Consider varying the timing and velocities a bit, so it's more human.

- Two cool parts, and then a jaunty, jagged bit. Cool. Could've lasted longer, though. The next bit I swear I've heard before... Sounds reminiscent of the end of the song Cygnus X-1 by Rush.

- Main theme is back... And there's that clean guitar. Some of the chords with the clean are noticeably off-time. It's not even by that much, the problem is that the drums are so on-beat that everything else being off is obvious.

- Whoops, dropped the lead! Take out that noise.

Overall, good. Can use some improvement, the drums are a bit mechanical. Great samples, but a bit TOO perfect rhythmically.

C4C? It's less badass, but I hope still good:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1587012
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:52 PM   #7
boratian
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Thanks for the comment (rojo)! Im not in a band, everything I write is basically a solo project (currently a full time student, so free time for band playing is limited ). I have a friend that occasionally adds lyrics. He's got a great scream but no sense of rhythm or melody, but eventually I might actually have vocals on a few songs once he improves a bit.

Your song structurally is very solid, the mix itself though could use some work. It's very layered and you have to be careful with how you place each layer or it gets lost in itself. Try bringing the drums further up into the mix, as a general statement metal music needs very driving drums, so definitely up those a bit. The left guitar channel feels slightly too far panned and that causes the right channel to dominate slightly, try bringing that in slightly. The guitar tone is really gritty, I dig it. I'd try experimenting with the mid ranges a bit on the guitars, that can help the guitars really shine. The musicianship itself is great, you guys sound like youve got a solid sound going for yourselves. Also the vocals are very fitting, that's absolutely crucial; they also are mixed in very well.
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:43 PM   #8
aaron aardvark
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boratian,
Interesting intro. Glad some drums & other instruments kicked in; wish they did a little sooner. Sounds nice & aggressive now, trippy electric bass. Never was a fan of 'machine gun bass drum', but that's just me. Sounds pretty cool overall. Most of the playing is pretty tight. Audio quality is pretty good. Please review my music at this link:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1586943
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