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#1 |
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Bad Santa
Join Date: May 2006
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Passive Aggressive/Remote
Anodyne, sat situated between the bookcase and the
television, chirping about the day that was - remote in hand - a friend knew a person experiencing comedic circumstance, much humour. Sat adroit between the two titans of silent adventure or monotonous nostalgia, fiddling the button-topped log between breaks in the story and pauses for breath, a hush of recollection, a burst of some loud gargantuan scuffled laughter thunderstorm monsterstorm apocalypse. Remote in hand, flick-flocking across the vast carnivorous horizon and still slopping tidbits of rehashed codswallop like flecks of spittle on the living room walls, paint peeling off in sun-burn blocks, brown stains appear on the faux-beige carpet, virulent moths ball the lame hanging ducks that are the second-hand curtains - something stirs and a single terse word is thrown in between the apocryphal maelstrom. "Please," it stunts, almost belly-up from the first plosive, "pass me the remote." |
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#2 |
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Weeow!
Join Date: Mar 2006
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i was thinking about whether you were still around man. hope youre well
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2009
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I don't feel like the chosen form (a monolithic block of text) does the language any favors, and that's unfortunate, because your language is always built from the most well-chosen words for the purpose, and this piece rewards reading and rereading and digesting and rehashing.
But it looks like an uninviting wall telling the reader to go away before they give it even a second glance. peace
__________________
Nothing to see here. Move along. |
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