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Old 02-14-2013, 02:09 AM   #21
guitarbeero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by food1010
TS, have you ever tried playing music with other people?

As a fairly introverted person myself, I find I have very little issue relating to people on a musical level. In fact, I think the type of people that are the best bandmates are the ones who aren't very outspoken. Musical communication is a completely different type of intelligence than verbal communication.

Being in a band IS a social group in a way, but it's less about socializing than it is about making music. You know how to make music, so what's stopping you from making music with other people?


tbh its the aspergers stuff like eye contact, dislike of crowds/grps even 3-4 people can cause stress.

I am also very very picky in who i get along with and dont.

But yeh I mean 4-5 guys i play music with could work if i get on with them as people and musically.

How does that happen though i mean meeting these people lol
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:26 AM   #22
food1010
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You could post a craigslist ad or something. Maybe see if your local guitar store has a bulletin board or something where you could post an ad.

Just say you're looking for people to casually jam with, and briefly describe the kind of music you want to play. Put your phone number or email on the ad, and you should get some responses, provided the genres you list aren't super obscure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarbeero
tbh its the aspergers stuff like eye contact, dislike of crowds/grps even 3-4 people can cause stress.
I don't know a whole lot about aspergers, but I can't really see this preventing you from playing music with others. I do see how it could be tough to meet other musicians, but that's what's so great about the internet. Maybe try finding one other guitar player or a bassist and start with that. Learn a few songs together, maybe try to write a few jams. Then if you start to feel comfortable around this person, try to find a singer or a drummer and work your way from there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarbeero
I am also very very picky in who i get along with and dont.
How so? I mean I could say the same thing, but then again I can get along with most people if I really try. What is it about certain people that makes them hard to get along with?

Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarbeero
What I want to know is what can i do with guitar that is productive or even playing bars etc but does not involve others, but thing is I also prefer just playing lead and definatley not singing.
I mean you could get some bar/restaurant gigs playing background music, but you would probably want to play jazz, specifically chord-melody kind of stuff. No one wants to hear just a lead guitar player, just like how nobody wants to hear someone just strum out chords.

Maybe what you need to do is find a singer and play some acoustic stuff. You'd have to compromise your desire to play lead, but at least you would have an outlet for your music.
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Last edited by food1010 : 02-14-2013 at 02:36 AM.
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:42 AM   #23
guitarbeero
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yeh cheers i aint into the acoustic thing really. I was at one point but now I find it far to mild and soft. I can do it though cause thats how I learned guitar playing acoustic songs and simple lead etc. I find it boring now though.

I prefer heavy lead or messing with effects etc.

As for people. Well I dunno theres just something wrong with my brain i dont really like being around people much at all. Ive been like this since high school. I have to be doing something to tolerate being with people, eg, playing video games, playing pool, playing sports, playing golf. I dont really like talking etc. I just dont know tbh. I cant even explain my brain. Thats when I mean only few people i can stand being around so i am picky. I dont really like conversations or talking much. tbh I often sit alone in my house for months lol. But by choice...I meet people and they say you must be so lonely etc etc..it annoys me people foresee me like this but its what i prefer.

Last edited by guitarbeero : 02-14-2013 at 02:44 AM.
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Old 02-14-2013, 03:03 AM   #24
food1010
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That's the thing though: Playing music would be "doing something." Like I said, being in a band isn't about talking. I mean, obviously you have to communicate as a band, but the primary focus is making music.
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Old 02-14-2013, 03:07 AM   #25
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Well if you're really having trouble with socialization and it gets in the way of doing things you want, you should probably get some professional help for that.

As far as music goes, you can still record things by yourself and expand your skills in the process by coming up with rhythm parts and writing new music.
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:08 AM   #26
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You can easily write/record your songs in your home studio...
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:31 AM   #27
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Music technology these days dictates that everyone must have fucking aspergers, then.
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Old 02-14-2013, 11:24 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarbeero
tbh its the aspergers stuff like eye contact, dislike of crowds/grps even 3-4 people can cause stress.

I am also very very picky in who i get along with and dont.


i have the same thing

get over it and stop being a bitch and you get used to it eventually
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:52 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdgraves
Well if you're really having trouble with socialization and it gets in the way of doing things you want, you should probably get some professional help for that.


Yup, even if\when it isn't Asbergers a doctor can help with social interaction. So go and see one.
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:01 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarbeero
Im pretty good at guitar as ive been playing for years. Spent most my life locked in my room due to social issues which is most likely aspergers.

Anyway I could never play with other people or join a band because tbh i get fatigued/stressed etc around others and just want to do my own thing, hence i played guitar a lot.

But now i am good at the guitar what is the point?

If i sit in my room and play guitar for another 30 years by time im 60 or so ill be best guitarist ever lol.

What I want to know is what can i do with guitar that is productive or even playing bars etc but does not involve others, but thing is I also prefer just playing lead and definatley not singing.

I guess id just be like jimmy hendrix lol and turn up at some wedding and fill in as lead guitarist etc haha unlikely.

Just looking for some ideas really

cheers

Asperger Syndrom? You must be a genious! You can get good at some other instruments and record your own music (like Michael Angelo Batio), or to join in a online band! Count on me man! I know two Aspies, and they are the best persons!
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:03 PM   #31
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And you must know that you can be social. If some people can't understand you, don't care about them, they are idiots! I know it by my personal experience! Don't worry!
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:00 PM   #32
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You need a looper pedal with a build in drum machine.

My BOSS RC-30 is my most prized investment. Not only because you can have so much fun with it, but because it's a brilliant way to practice, it helps you to hear all the little licks you practice in context once you lay a little chord progression down, it really helped me improve over a short period of time.

I'm not saying get an RC-30, because for what it is, it's an expensice bit of kit. but i don't think it'll ever break being boss. it's practically indestructible.

If you have the money, you could consider this..
http://www.gear4music.com/Guitar-an...Phase-Pedal/OZQ
I've heard good things about it
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Old 02-17-2013, 10:05 AM   #33
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tl;dr. The whole thread, that is, and right now I haven't drank my second pot of coffee yet, but I'll try.

You stated that social situations were fatigueing you. Well I don't know how the other posters came up with shyness but afaik this has nothing to do with each other. But it also doesn't necessarily have to be connected to your AS. I have a disorder in the autistic spectrum and in the past I would be fatigued very soon whenever I was around people and I couldn't rehearse any longer than about an hour or so. Well that wasn't due to my AS but more to something secondary, so maybe you'd better check whether you have maybe developed depression or similar. This isn't uncommon in Asperger's and similar conditions. I still have to deal with social difficulties and being misunderstood all the time but I've stopped falling asleep on bright noon just because I'm around people I like. I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with you but I suggest you should check that.

Maybe the band situation can help you overcome the fatigueing effects, given they're not due to your autism, but to something that has been acquired over time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mdc
Music technology these days dictates that everyone must have fucking aspergers, then.


Huh? There's hardly anything simpler than a Roland menu At least they're way easier to deal with than my colleagues at work...
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:07 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chronowarp
Here's my idea:

Stop being socially inept, because you aren't going to pave the way for any real opportunities if you don't learn how to network and work with other people.

^^
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:09 AM   #35
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i have taught two guitarists diagnosed with aspergers.

case 1: went straight into grade 8 and learn't the song of his choice by memory.
Once he memorised what he wanted to play, we played it together in a band situation.

case 2: learn't three pieces for a guitar exam. played everything from memory. he passed the exam with a distinction. playing along to a cd backing track.

both cases resulted in a successful public performance.
i suggest you find a guitar tutor, we can mentor and gently teach you to fullfill your goal.
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Old 02-19-2013, 03:03 PM   #36
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Hey, interesting thread to me as I'm a guitarist with Asperger's also. Diagnosed a couple years ago. I also play pretty much alone, but have an urge to start playing with others because I feel that without that, my playing does stay one dimensional, I think there is something out there to learn and improve if I can play with others.

I would start by letting go of the limiting belief that you cannot enjoy socializing with others. If you believe that to be true, it will be. Once there were two men who each had to shoulder a large burden and carry it up a mountin. But the burden was very heavy and the mountain was very steep. One man thought he could do it, though it would not be easy. The other man thought it was impossible for him, though he went through the motions of trying. The first man succeeded, and the second man failed. The point is, they were the same man. It was belief that dictated success or failure, not any objective truth about whether they were or were not strong enough.

In my own experience, I realized my social anxiety comes on not simply when I'm around others, but when I am around others AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME. For this reason, I could be relaxed at family gatherings with close family for whom I felt no need to "perform." Similarly, I had a few long-term friends in high school and college where I eventually got comfortable enough around to just "hang" without any worries about whether I'd say or do something wrong.

I think you need to expect when you first meet new people, try playing music with others, you are going to be very nervous. Maybe get a xanax prescription or something. But if you stick with it, that will reduce in time. If you actually joined a band and you guys met and practiced regularly, evetually you will reach the point of comfort with them, they will no longer be strangers, you will not feel you need to put on an act, etc. You just need to "man up" and do it.

And you don't have to just jump into the fire. There are ways to ease into this. You can look for people to play with in online forums, even jam with people over the internet, so you find people you feel comfortable with and get comfortable (to some degree) with them before you ever set foot outside your room or meet them in person. Baby steps, is what I'm talking about.

Whether you do it in baby steps or take bigger steps out of your comfort zone, I do feel it is within your power to do this if you believe in yourself. There are plenty of books out there, too, for aspies on how to overcome this shyness / social awkwardness, or at least fake it. I'd hazard a guess you have not read any. If not, you are really ASSUMING something is impossible without doing a whole hell of a lot to try overcoming your obstacle.

Just some thoughts, YMMV.

~Ken
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