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Old 02-18-2013, 01:43 AM   #1
JDawg00100
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Not Toast Worthy - Metal Song (C4C)

Here's a song that I don't really understand how I came up with in the first place. Definitely was out of my comfort zone while writing this, but I just kind of went with it and I thought it turned out okay. Lots and lots of lead parts. Some of which are a little repetitive but I found a couple of the riffs to be pretty catchy. Anyways check it out and tell me what you think. I could really use some feedback because I am just starting to write more music after a pretty long break, so any sort of advice would be great. Thanks! And of course C4C is always welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/profound-obs...ot-toast-worthy

Here's a quick video I did of the song, nothing special I guess and the camera could be better.

(Video)

Last edited by JDawg00100 : 02-21-2013 at 02:48 AM.
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Old 02-19-2013, 03:38 PM   #2
Indy_Fire
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Good mix and sound, very much the instrumental track for sure.
Playing was tight and of a high standard. I'd defo say write more music.
As for advice I dunno you seem to have me beat for melody and skill....so =)
Good stuff dude more plz!

Here's my demo clip.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1588772
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:22 PM   #3
GS LEAD 5
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@ toast core

No real criticism of the playing. Playing is tight, and there's a lot of variety in the riffing and lead lines.

I'd say vocals would work quite well here, soaring vocals like Dickinson. Especially the lead from 1 minute or so, I can almost imagine him screaming his head of a la No More Lies or Rainmaker.

That transition at 2:00 is a bit abrupt. Maybe let the guitars stop on a note, do a lot of vibrato, let it fade, and then start again?
Like 4:49 here:

Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable song, and impressive technically as well.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1589208

Care to crit this?
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:45 AM   #4
MentaLrz
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Right, it's quite tight so well done. Now, for the guitars I would try thickening it out a bit with some bass, as it sounds thin on my setup. The song itself though is well written.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1589522
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Old 02-23-2013, 10:06 PM   #5
NelsonSFS
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nice song man, the production is clean, you have some nice chops, the transition from 2:02 on is genious :p keep up the good work man,
heres a demo of my band to crit if you like
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1585377
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Old 02-26-2013, 03:38 AM   #6
JDawg00100
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Oh wow I got some replies, I remember seeing this on the second page and gave up on it .

I will review all of your stuff as soon as I can, thanks for the feedback guys!
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Old 02-26-2013, 05:38 AM   #7
pinguinpanic
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Writing as I listen:
Lol toastcore. Sounds good nice tone, and the drum is nice. Lots of leads going on as you had kind of stated. The clean parts are very well played. I like your guitar tone at 0:39 (and the rest basically) it's a bit of an a bit less edgy/modern tone but still an awesome tone a bit more old-skool but on-par with modern day production. The drum also sounds good it's nice and snappy and puncy and generally nice. The drum parts themselves are also good. The lead parts are all cool and played very clean which is really good. But sometimes it feels like just a little-wee-bit out of tune (OOH clena part at 2:10 sounds goody). Like most guitars intonation is probably quite a bit of causing your notes to be out of tune when you tune on the open strings. Try for lead tuning the guitar for the notes you are going to play. Altough that is just a small details I'm giving out that you possibly could improve upon, altough I can quite imagine if you'd be like "I CAN'T BE ARSED ABOUT THAT" which would probably be my own opinion. I'm at 3:35 and the song still isn't getting boring which might sound obvious, and is obvious for a good song but 3:30 is about the part where a medicore/boring song gets really boring and that you'd ussually start skipping to find out that only another chorus just like the last 5 remains.

Sounds good, nice composition and good mix. Perhaps something you could improve upon is an a bit more natural lead tone because it sounds a bit too amp-simsy at the moment, perhaps put on just a tad of reverb or something or something else to make it just a tad more lively. Or didn't you record it with amp sim because it kind of sounds like it? You can't really tell these days, but it either sounds like an amp-sim or a solid-state drive which both aren't how you want your lead to sound like so perhaps fiddle arround to get a bit more of "tube warmth" "organic sound" into the lead tone. Altough I have no idea how you should do that. Anyway production is really nice I'm just doing my best being anal to find things you can improve upon but you don't leave me a lot of meat.

Feel free to listen to my song if you have sparetime that you would like to invest into listening to music of strangers on the internets.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1589401
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:29 AM   #8
mattmakaha
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Solid technique. I like the melody at 0:57. I love the harmonies at 1:50. I love your clean tone, but I don't know.....the change at 2:01 was a little abrupt. I know where you were going with that, but I don't know. Maybe pause for just a little bit and then bring in the clean guitar. For my tastes, I would like a little reverb on the snare drum, but that's just me. Other than that, it's solid. The mix is balanced well, and your guitar tones are good.
I don't see your list of equipment, are you using a 7 string?
Could you go to my thread and leave a comment:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1584266
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:10 PM   #9
JDawg00100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattmakaha
Solid technique. I like the melody at 0:57. I love the harmonies at 1:50. I love your clean tone, but I don't know.....the change at 2:01 was a little abrupt. I know where you were going with that, but I don't know. Maybe pause for just a little bit and then bring in the clean guitar. For my tastes, I would like a little reverb on the snare drum, but that's just me. Other than that, it's solid. The mix is balanced well, and your guitar tones are good.
I don't see your list of equipment, are you using a 7 string?
Could you go to my thread and leave a comment:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1584266


I used a 6 string tuned to C# standard, I wish I had a 7 string
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