02-19-2013, 09:42 PM
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#1 |
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So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
Join Date: Aug 2007
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"I'm fine"'s
I believe I may be
losing my energy between late night conversations and that matutinal near-sleep state in the right seat. Sometimes I dream about carefree époques until I’m awakened by a heartbeat jumpstarting in anxiety. At insomniac nights, my inner voice repeats autistic “I’m fine”’s and I blindly believe its therapeutic lies. One day, I’ll wake up wrapped in a peaceful haze and life will seem okay, not because I fixed it, but because I tried to too late.
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My Pieces Eh-bits Tandem There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help Carpe Diem New one: One Step |
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02-22-2013, 04:46 PM
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#2 |
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Gravedigger
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
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Isn't it "I'm fine's"? I think I did the same thing many moons ago and someone told me I was stupid for writing whatever I wrote in that way. I'm not saying you're stupid, it's just I was called out on it and I'm still feeling bitter.
 "At insomniac nights" doesn't look or sound right. You can easily keep it there, but it may be a distraction for some people reading an otherwise decent piece. |
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02-25-2013, 10:08 PM
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#3 |
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So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Thanks ! I don't know if it's right or not, it's just the way it looks more correct to me, but I may be wrong. I get that line though, I'm not the biggest fan of it either
I plan to read the pieces I haven't read yet on S+L soon !
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My Pieces Eh-bits Tandem There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help Carpe Diem New one: One Step |
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02-26-2013, 08:02 AM
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#4 |
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Teeth
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Everywhere. Pantheism, lol
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Sounds good
 Kind of sad but that doesn't make it a bad piece.I identify with this piece a lot lately. I wake up early in the morning feeling like death and it makes me apathetic. Otherwise I don't know what to add. Keep up the good work.
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You are now using UG Black. You are now using UG Classic. Artists I'm listening to a lot lately:
Steve Stevens, various jazz artists Mah Youtube vids. if you truly loved me, you'd watch them (psst; it's not just glam stuff) Mah Soundcloud |
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02-27-2013, 12:58 PM
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#5 |
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the pain is easy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: idyllwild, california
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jumpstarting sounds awkward. otherwise really nice.
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