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Old 03-04-2013, 04:52 PM   #1
slap-a-bass
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GP5 c4c track titled "workinprogress"

hey guys just finished this one need help hearing it from someone else's perspective since ive been working on it for a while

what do you think? solid open and finish? any parts that need improving?
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File Type: gp5 workinprogress.gp5 (63.3 KB, 95 views)
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:38 PM   #2
EpiExplorer
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Not bad actually, thought it'd be a bit naff from the intro, but decent. Not sure about using 34 as a cymbal sound, thats like the triangle or something. Use 59 or 53. But yeah, genuinely good composition, but intro needs more than just that bass riff, maybe some melodic ambience that quickly fades into the main riff.

I also really like how your time signatures flow well together.
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:52 PM   #3
slap-a-bass
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yeah youre right about that intro i was never really satisfied with it but im glad you liked the timing. That took me the longest to do, for me songs just feel empty without them lol
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Old 03-04-2013, 07:36 PM   #4
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Good as a whole, I just can't stand the drums.
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:49 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Jacques-Henri
Good as a whole, I just can't stand the drums.


havent heard that one before, any reason? should i have written them differently?
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Old 03-05-2013, 09:29 AM   #6
Guitar0player
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That was quite good! Did you use polyrhythms in the drums during the bridge?
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:30 PM   #7
slap-a-bass
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Originally Posted by Guitar0player
That was quite good! Did you use polyrhythms in the drums during the bridge?


kinda, its actually the same time sig on all tracks for that part but i just utilized the on and offbeat 8th notes for the part that alternates between 7/8 and 4/4, turned out better than i thought xD
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Old 03-06-2013, 10:06 PM   #8
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To be honest I personally don't like the intro, but it's solid and the harmonies are pretty cool. Please remove the metronome bell thing starting at 14, that just sounds silly lol. You could use a ride cymbal, like Pie sugested or a closed high hat, that would work pretty well. The bass riff is really tasty tho. I specially like the guitar riff in this section. 18/19 has a neoclassic feel I wasn't quite expecting. The transition into the chorus doesn't really work: I like the little guitar doodly and all, but the drum fill feels like to much. The next riff is quite generic, but the odd time sigs spices it up just enough. The reintro sounds good. The structure of the song seems to repeat, but it isn't worn out by any means. The transition into the chorus still doesn't work lol. I was kinda thrown off by a reintro this soon, since it's separated from the Verse at 30 (which already feels like a reintro) by the 10/8 riff, and I don't think that's enough. The bridge works quite well, and the bass chords sound good. The random tremollo bits at 67 just feel weird, not shure I like them. The following clean chords are basic, yet quite nice. The drums fit really well this section. The following guitar solo is pretty cool, I dig it. That bridge breakdown is nifty. Really like the interchanching time sigs here. The final reintro feels a bit worn out, but I like the fact you went for something a bit different this time. The end is quite appropriate. Overall the song seems to suffer a bit from repeating the main theme a bit way to much, but it's still solid. While I don't like the drumfill thing before every chorus, the song is still solid. Nice job, 7/10.
Also, if you don't mind critting back: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1591449 and http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1591302
You can crit one of them or both if you are feeling bored or awesome enough.
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Old 03-07-2013, 03:17 AM   #9
slap-a-bass
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haha thats a crit! thanks
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