03-07-2013, 12:33 PM
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#1 |
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Banned
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The London Borough of Croydon, GB
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Train Wreck
You're a
Train wreck I look for Survivors If I can't Find one I'd call it A day Sorry You can't Hear me I Hear you screa -ming my Name Last edited by treborillusion : 03-07-2013 at 10:16 PM. |
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03-10-2013, 12:46 PM
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#2 | |
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Most Edits Per Capita
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wisconsin
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This seems like it could have been half a stanza, but pulled out into a full piece. It's a good idea, man. A really good one, but I think you need to take this one back to the forge and give it some more shape.
Keep on with this one, I think I'm going to really like where it goes.
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