plangentmusic

The guitar is the voice and the bass is the orchestration.

Calvero

Great idea and the bass sounds alright, the guitar doesn't though. I would do it clean, both in tone and in performance. Find a nice, full clean tone and play the melody without extra fills (whammy, harmonics and whatnot). It sounds out of tune most of the time. Guitar could be a bit louder though.

I would consider arranging the chorus pretty much as you have the verses, with the guitar playing Paul's falsetto melody, but with the bass playing John's main lines.

You're on to something.

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"...I cried. Just for a second. Then I thought, 'I must rock.' "
- James Iha



Rock on y'all!

plangentmusic

I took what you said into consideration. (Amazing, isn't it? But that's what these forums SHOULD be for). So I made a few alterations. Nothing drastic, just more fined tuned. And sometimes that makes a big difference.

Calvero

Not quite amazing, as I wouldn't have posted here if I expected that you would react negatively. Trying to develop your music is the reason you made this thread and the reason I answered.
So long as you post serious stuff out of the Pit you should get decent enough answers and productive criticism.

To be honest, I don't remember the first version to compare the two properly. It feels like a step sideways in most of the points I brought up. It sounds too busy. The guitar is a bit louder though isn't it?

I figure most of the stuff that bothers me are just your style and I can't really argue against that. However, I feel I should insist that you watch your use of the whammy bar and practice your vibrato technique, these are hard things to use properly and if you don't it will just sound out of tune. A simple, normal note should not be looked upon as an inferior choice.

__________________
"...I cried. Just for a second. Then I thought, 'I must rock.' "
- James Iha



Rock on y'all!