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Old 03-15-2013, 09:04 PM   #41
DanBrown93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by new yardbird 9
Or just don't answer the door.


DING DING DING DING DING! Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!!!!!
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:05 PM   #42
Wolfinator-x
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanBrown93
DING DING DING DING DING! Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!!!!!
At least have the decency not to ring like a madman
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:15 PM   #43
jetwash69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DESTROYER5000
Lol no, it's just a polite discussion/tip thing because I figure who better to help with this than someone who is a Jehovah's Witness.


Ok... Any Mormons here to weigh in on this then? The Mormon perspective on this seems woefully underepresented ITT.
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:23 PM   #44
leony03
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Donkey


That's what I was going to link

How I love that film.
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:42 PM   #45
captaincrunk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raster
Reply them with:
"Alright I'll talk to you if you agree to talk about the lord Satan and how he is our lord and savior"
Preferably with some death metal blasting in background.

goddamn this is so ****ing lame, why do teenagers have such shitty ideas?
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I respect crunk.
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:45 PM   #46
Eastwinn
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seriously, just ask them not to come back. politely. they're not hurting you, and your denial of religion is not tough to them.
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:57 PM   #47
captainsnazz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ometh
I force their mouths into my cock, tears running down their cheeks as I cum on their throats. They often try to bite it off, but the pain just makes me hornier. A blow to the head with an axe ends things pretty quickly. Be shure to apply plastic over everything since scrapping brain matter can get pretty tedious when it dryes out.

I was going to post something like this, but the truth is nobody does it better than Ometh.
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:06 PM   #48
muffinduck01
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To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:07 PM   #49
WaterGod
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Tell them you're busy getting a blow job from your black gay lover.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:14 PM   #50
Most_Triumphant
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Walk out there naked with a rabbit costume on your head. Add a carrot sticking out of your arse for added effect.
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Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album

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Old 03-15-2013, 11:25 PM   #51
Shotgunmerc
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Walking alone tonight
'Cause I've only got room for two
Me and my burdened black heart
It's all we know how to do

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I want to cum inside young men
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:30 PM   #52
treborillusion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whywefight
Hit on her if its a girl.
That's what I done.
I was at work trying to sell double glazing, she was hot/attractive and, her friend wasn't bad too... I tried to sell them a window because I was at work and I bumped into her and her friend, in a team... Hot Summer's Day, like an hour before quitting time... Any contact is good, so my boss and this other guy, both safe/cool start flirting with these girls I met, who were from Utah and the house was this lady who was ill and didn't want to be disturbed.
I offered to use my bosses van when he arrived to show them around London, we chatted and then they went... Next day at work was jokes.
'I was the guy who tried to pull 2 nuns'...
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look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:34 PM   #53
HardAttack
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Nobody suggested putting a head on a spike outside their yard?



Works pretty well according to Game of Thrones. Anything you see on TV is safe to try out in real life, right?
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mmmmmmhmmm

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Originally Posted by diditfortehlulz
That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

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brilliant
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:40 PM   #54
20Tigers
1
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Todd Hart
Mimic their every move and utterance.

I might actually try this one.

You could always keep a copy of Mein Kempf or a hardcore penthouse near the door. then whent hey give you a pamphlet to read you can give them something to read too.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:49 PM   #55
VanTheKraut
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoman297
guys what's the best way

i've got nothing



Only takes one pump.
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Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

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Old 03-16-2013, 12:06 AM   #56
HardAttack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20Tigers
I might actually try this one.

You could always keep a copy of Mein Kempf or a hardcore penthouse near the door. then whent hey give you a pamphlet to read you can give them something to read too.


Perhaps you can scrapbook the two together and hand them a copy of Mein Penthouse.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FLNagle
mmmmmmhmmm

Quote:
Originally Posted by diditfortehlulz
That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by munkymanmatt
brilliant
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Old 03-16-2013, 12:08 AM   #57
zero27
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Imagine if you said, "no I'm not interested but thank you anyway" they might just turn around and walk away! holy crap!
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Old 03-16-2013, 12:14 AM   #58
bifteksupernova
*thhbbbt*
 
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greet them at the door in a towel and tell them you were just running the tub for you and your sister
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Old 03-16-2013, 12:19 AM   #59
Shawn1379
Frequency 141.80
 
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I've got the best plan.

Talk to them, and oblige their request to hear what they have to say. Then, when they least expect it, (and this is the best part) CONVERT to their religion!

Then live your whole life following their beliefs. It's perfect. Those bastards won't know what hit them.
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Old 03-16-2013, 12:27 AM   #60
Fishyesque
Hate hate hate hate HATE!
 
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Hi, everyone! I'm Mormon, and I served a mission in Santiago, Chile so I thought I'd chime in! A lot of missionaries feel that while they don't want to be pushy, but they truly, sincerely believe that the message they share is the most important message that a person can hear in their entire lives. So often times when a person immediately shuts them down, they still feel a sense of urgency and a desire to keep trying.

So the simplest thing would be to calmly and politely say that you really aren't interested, thank them, and let them be on their way!
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