Dregen

also, spanking to humiliate is a bad thing. spanking to induce fear is just as bad, though it's unavoidable if you're going to do it. to a certain degree.

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captaincrunk

so instead we should be spanking to pleasure ourselves, it's all clear to me now

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Ometh

I wouldn't spank my kids, but I would spank it to my kids for shure

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CoreysMonster

I think spanking has its merits.

Not to inflict pain or cause damage, but as a barrier that shows kids "This is the line you do NOT cross". You don't have to spank a kid hard to get the message across, the action itself is enough to register with kids as "Oh shit I ****ed up hardcore".

Of course, this should only be used for really dangerous things like running across the street, playing with knives or whatever, not for spilling milk on the rug. /2cents

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Dregen

you just made me realize how incredibly stupid that post sounded lol. i don't even know how to explain what i was trying to say now. i meant more like if you're going to spank your kid, at least make them understand why and don't overdo it. it should be about making them understand, not scaring the shit out of them. i don't even know.

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VillainousLatin

What exactly is "Spanking"?

because my mother and grandmother used to hit me all the time, and I think I learned from those experiences. I think each parent has their own style of parenting, and as long as it's not out of control or exaggerated, is should be fine since different kids need different tactics.



What... kids don't know any better, hitting them in that situation is probably not the best way to teach them that that's not what you should do.

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IronMaiden76

I got spanked I think twice in my life. Unrelated, is it still okay to spank my monkey?

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CoreysMonster

But that's the entire point of spanking? Shock the kid so much that they will never do that thing again. That will only work if it's done in only the most extreme of situations.

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captaincrunk

so basically we should spank with pillows so as not to cause pain, got it



it's ok, I'm just trying to get people to clarify instead of leaning on vague generalizations like "don't hurt them" or whatever

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Andrea55

I agree with this.

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CoreysMonster

My point was don't spank to hurt them as much as you can. Obviously don't tap them lightly, but don't smack the shit out of kids with all your strength. A grown man has a huge-ass, strong hand, you don't have to apply much force in order to get the point across.

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Skynyrd890

I don't think it's cruel, but I also don't think it's effective. My parents never spanked me... they just made an effort to show massive amounts of disappointment when I did something I knew I shouldn't. That was plenty effective.

EDIT - speaking about your average welt-raising slap... Obviously there is a limit as to what constitutes spanking and what constitutes abuse.

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VillainousLatin

I don't think that's the point of spanking. That's like hitting a dog for barking, dogs bark, it's stupid hitting them for barking. A kid is pretty stupid and does stupid things, you should not spank them for that. Spanking should be used for behavior, like a kid making a scene or bullying another kid or something like that, something he knows is bad but he does it anyways because he thinks he can get away with it. When a kid crosses the road without looking or something like that, that's a good moment to talk to them calmly and explain about the dangers of that stuff, if he continues to do it after, then yeah, because he knows that it's a bad thing and he should not be doing it.

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CoreysMonster

I'm not sure about this. I'd think a spanking would show a young kid that what he did was horribly wrong, and prevent him from doing it again. I'm not sure a stern talking-to would have the same deep-rooted affect with small children about fundamental rules.

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Toadvine

I was spanked, I deserved it. Getting spanked doesn't really hurt in a physical way, I've done far greater damage to myself accidentally.

Try talking logically to a four year old.

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VillainousLatin

Hmm well, I don't know, I just think that hitting a kid for doing something that they don't know better about is not the way to go, but you know like I said, people have different styles of teaching their kids.

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guitarmaniac88

^ Generally you only spank if you've told them before not to do something, if they mess up on accident or you never taught them not to do something, that's not really a good time to spank them.




The talking-to doesn't have that effect, and won't have that effect until later years, usually past the general spanking age.

As to how hard, it should give them a good sting, a little red at the most, but never enough to bruise or bleed. The pain of a spanking should be gone in a couple of minutes at the most, and no, you don't spank children in the face.

I've had a few smacks to the mouth after back-talking, but I didn't do it after that. I could easily tell they weren't trying to harm me, just show a point, and that point was shown.

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TSmitty6

Only about a half dozen or so times as a small child, too young to remember. My mom said it was under 10 times.

I think boredom is a really effective punishment. Let them pout in a corner with no attention. Either they learn their lesson and brighten up in 20mins, or they fall asleep.