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Old 03-24-2013, 06:01 PM   #1
TheNameOfNoone
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Weird Computer Turn On

[notice: thread of same name was created for serious issue, but this one is even more serious]

Since my last girlfriend left me (I overslept the date and she found another guy ), I needed to satisfy my animalistic needs with an alternative. Since I am fond of science fiction literature (especially cyberpunk) I have found my computer being very attractive. All of her (yeah, it's SHE. I'm not gay!) wires, magnetic discs... So sexy. One day, I have started to caress it slowly, and she didn't seem to have anything against it so I slowly got on to it. I inserted my erected member into her (not powered) ventilator and started gently spinning it around only to hear her squeaking and creaking of pleasure.

From that day, I was addicted to my computer. We were making sweet love every day.
Good ol' times :')

But one day, my sister caught me putting my **** into the usb port and she freaked out. She told me she would tell my pc mechanic what she saw unless I get hooked off. I don't want to go to rehabilitation, but I still don't want my love to be taken away by the mechanic! How can I stop this!? Do I need a human girlfriend or else...?
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The image in my head is just too funny for words at this point


Aw yeah.

Last edited by TheNameOfNoone : 03-24-2013 at 06:03 PM.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:04 PM   #2
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Put your penis into your sisters usb port
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Last edited by Weaponized : 03-24-2013 at 06:06 PM.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:06 PM   #3
Ian_the_fox
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Specs?
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:07 PM   #4
Gantz92
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Your penis fits in a usb port?
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:08 PM   #5
thenextkirk92
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0.5/10
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:08 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gantz92
Your penis fits in a usb port?


that was the comment I was gonna make

I guess Bosnians got the short end of the stick, so to speak
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If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian_the_fox
Specs?


Why would glasses help?
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:10 PM   #8
Skullivan
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What you really need is a new graphics card.
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How damaging is it for a trans person to be referred to the incorrect gender as a child?
I don't see how it would be damaging. I got called C-dog for a number of years despite not being a dog. I turned out alright.

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Old 03-24-2013, 06:10 PM   #9
TheNameOfNoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian_the_fox
Specs?

Intel Pentium 4 CPU
3.00GHz, 1.93 GB of RAM

Maybe 128MB graphic card, I don't have a slightest idea...

Also, good ol' Windows XP Professional.

EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gantz92
Your penis fits in a usb port?

I have made a 3 inches diameter hole using only a knife.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChemicalFire
You get my first ever lolstack






The image in my head is just too funny for words at this point


Aw yeah.

Last edited by TheNameOfNoone : 03-24-2013 at 06:12 PM.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:11 PM   #10
Obsceneairwaves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian_the_fox
Specs?


spicks?
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:12 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNameOfNoone
Intel Pentium 4 CPU
3.00GHz, 1.93 GB of RAM

Maybe 128MB graphic card, I don't have a slightest idea...

Also, good ol' Windows XP Professional.


pray for this poor soul
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Originally Posted by jrcsgtpeppers
If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:13 PM   #12
perilio
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She is old as ****
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:15 PM   #13
jimmydvn
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didn't think computers accepted three inch floppies anymore
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:17 PM   #14
Joshua Garcia
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I think you should just get neutered. You're clearly not using that thing right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmydvn
didn't think computers accepted three inch floppies anymore

They do if you ram it in there. And then sometimes you need to blow on it a bit.
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How bout you and your weebo ass go away?

Last edited by Joshua Garcia : 03-24-2013 at 06:18 PM.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:27 PM   #15
Ian_the_fox
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNameOfNoone
Intel Pentium 4 CPU
3.00GHz, 1.93 GB of RAM

Maybe 128MB graphic card, I don't have a slightest idea...

Also, good ol' Windows XP Professional.
Shit, bro. -1/10, would not bang.


So I take it you're into older women, like ones with saggy tits and arthritis? No wonder why you can't score.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:28 PM   #16
Wesbanez
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNameOfNoone
caught me putting my **** into the usb port


Bro got 99 problems but a big d1ck ain't one...
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:32 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by thenextkirk92
0.5/10

generous
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:40 PM   #18
aerosmithfan95
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So, your usb it getting a lot of use in your computer's usb port? I guess you have a lot of vital "information" that you need on (and in) your computer.

Wait, you're a weirdo. Get away from me.
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:30 PM   #19
Insanity ninja
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Is your dong usb 2.0 or 3.0?
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:42 PM   #20
muffinduck01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNameOfNoone
Intel Pentium 4 CPU
3.00GHz, 1.93 GB of RAM

Maybe 128MB graphic card, I don't have a slightest idea...

Also, good ol' Windows XP Professional.

So you're into MILFs?
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Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
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