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Old 03-30-2013, 12:36 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2011

without mistake or error
it comes spilling out of you
even in hushed tones
you crack off like a cannon

you writing all this down?
freeze it in the ice
billions of snap decisions
all zero into one

progress, firm nonsense,
i am getting better.
context, first reject,
i am getting better.
hard shelf, strict pretense,
i am getting better.
quick flashes for quick access
we'll see who's really laughing

Bit of recycling with old ideas. I like it better this time round, and it fits better to music.
unicornicopia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 06:05 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I really like this, the stripped down tight choppy composition. Like sculpting with a chainsaw, no unnecessary frills, straight to the bone. The "I am getting better" refrain works really well too.
Awesomewhere is offline   Reply With Quote

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