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Old 04-15-2013, 04:53 AM   #1
Androidjoey
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How should I respond to this?

So today I woke up from my nap too check my phone and I get a text from my drummer saying

QUOTE I have some serious news and your not going to like it i'm going to hate it more then you but it has to be done i'm going all into my new business {amway cult} because I want to be financially free but in order to do that I must sacrifice all obstacles so i have to leave the band i'm sorry but its my time"

keep in mind this guy has been extremely committed to the band time wise musically and money wise for almost a year and we are just weeks away from recording our album because we finally found a singer and he just has some random change of heart and decides he's going to leave music behind for amway and the sale of house hold items so basically what i'm asking is what do you of the forums make of this and how should I even respond to such lunacy?
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:16 AM   #2
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its simple...he wants out, there is no other option. If someone came to me and said they are leaving music behind to just focus on money especially to the extreme of what you say then thats the end of the road for me and them no argue IMO! I doubt if he is being honest that this is just something random, probably more of an idea he's been keeping to himself for months.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:28 AM   #3
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you should fire your drummer
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:51 AM   #4
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It's a rational decision he's making by the sounds of it, you should respect his decision, maybe he didn't have as much faith in where the band was going as you do
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Old 04-15-2013, 08:08 AM   #5
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Maybe someone took his cell for a joyride.
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Old 04-15-2013, 08:32 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by innertom
you should fire your drummer


Lol it's a bit late for that. The drummer has just quit.

Usually when people quit they do whatever obligations are needed of them like booked gigs within reason then you go find a replacement. I don't know what the recording was going to entail, nor how solid or professional your plans to make it were. If its reasonable, ask if he can record the album parts with you guys then he can leave. If its amateur hour record at home that'll take months to complete, let him go.

I think its pretty offensive to consider his plans to make money "lunacy". He's explained his position, you'll just have to deal with it.
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Old 04-15-2013, 08:51 AM   #7
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Try and be respectful. His tried to be respectful in the way his come across, I dunno theres not much you can do.
Stuff like this sucks of course.


Quote:
Originally Posted by innertom
you should fire your drummer


lol
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Old 04-15-2013, 09:18 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultraussie
Try and be respectful. His tried to be respectful in the way his come across, I dunno theres not much you can do.
Stuff like this sucks of course.

Texting something that important isn't respectful, it's cowardly.


TS, it seems as though he is not teetering on the choice, but instead has already decided what he wants to do. Considering there is little chance of someone changing their mind about their direction in life once they've chosen it, it would be best for you and your band to move on and at least find a temporary replacement (ask drummers from local bands you are friendly towards to help you out) for your scheduled shows and then start looking for a permanent replacement. As important as a band's drummer is, it's very possible to successfully continue with a new drummer. (unless they were the singer too)
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:09 PM   #9
Androidjoey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanHB
Lol it's a bit late for that. The drummer has just quit.

Usually when people quit they do whatever obligations are needed of them like booked gigs within reason then you go find a replacement. I don't know what the recording was going to entail, nor how solid or professional your plans to make it were. If its reasonable, ask if he can record the album parts with you guys then he can leave. If its amateur hour record at home that'll take months to complete, let him go.

I think its pretty offensive to consider his plans to make money "lunacy". He's explained his position, you'll just have to deal with it.

it's lunacy because we already have booked gigs all throughout the summer and he bought all of our recording gear because he wanted to speed up recording and then 3 weeks later he quits.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:15 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tukk04
Texting something that important isn't respectful, it's cowardly.


TS, it seems as though he is not teetering on the choice, but instead has already decided what he wants to do. Considering there is little chance of someone changing their mind about their direction in life once they've chosen it, it would be best for you and your band to move on and at least find a temporary replacement (ask drummers from local bands you are friendly towards to help you out) for your scheduled shows and then start looking for a permanent replacement. As important as a band's drummer is, it's very possible to successfully continue with a new drummer. (unless they were the singer too)

We already have a few temps that are trying out but who knows how long it will take for them to learn his parts and then how do i go about getting him too record all of his drumming so the temps can learn it
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidjoey
it's lunacy because we already have booked gigs all throughout the summer and he bought all of our recording gear because he wanted to speed up recording and then 3 weeks later he quits.


Ok so he owns all the recording gear, which means no recording for you guys if he leaves. I don't think you couod persuade him into doing the album with you. Self-recording takes a lot of time and effort.

When is your next gig? You may be able to get him to play a gig or two while you find a replacement drummer.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:38 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanHB
Ok so he owns all the recording gear, which means no recording for you guys if he leaves. I don't think you couod persuade him into doing the album with you. Self-recording takes a lot of time and effort.

When is your next gig? You may be able to get him to play a gig or two while you find a replacement drummer.

May 18th and then from there it will be pretty much weekly.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:54 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidjoey
it's lunacy because we already have booked gigs all throughout the summer and he bought all of our recording gear because he wanted to speed up recording and then 3 weeks later he quits.

So, buy the recording gear from him.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:08 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidjoey
May 18th and then from there it will be pretty much weekly.


So basically you have a month the find a new drummer and train him up for gigs. It shouldn't be too hard if you have alot of work booked.

Id advertise for a new drummer now, and ask the ex-drummer to play the booked gigs up to the end of June or so to give you more time to train up thr other guy.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:13 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
So, buy the recording gear from him.

Already on it.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:15 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanHB
So basically you have a month the find a new drummer and train him up for gigs. It shouldn't be too hard if you have alot of work booked.

Id advertise for a new drummer now, and ask the ex-drummer to play the booked gigs up to the end of June or so to give you more time to train up thr other guy.

He won't do it because that would be a obstacle on his quest for easy money. I think your right about getting a new drummer asap.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:25 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidjoey
He won't do it because that would be a obstacle on his quest for easy money. I think your right about getting a new drummer asap.

Did he say he won't do it, or are you assuming he won't do it?
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:28 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Did he say he won't do it, or are you assuming he won't do it?

If he won't do a weekly practice so we can acclimate our singer to the songs i'm pretty sure he won't play the gig but he has not yet responded to my text.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:41 PM   #19
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sounds to me like he has actual problems in his life. If he's your friend, you need to ask him what's really bothering him because from the way you talk about it, his actions are irrationnal and might be representative of manic depression.

EDIT: ...or some other form of problem. I don't know much about depression and things like that so can't accurately say it's manic depression. It seems pretty clear that something serious is bothering him

Last edited by flexiblemile : 04-15-2013 at 05:43 PM.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:49 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by flexiblemile
sounds to me like he has actual problems in his life. If he's your friend, you need to ask him what's really bothering him because from the way you talk about it, his actions are irrationnal and might be representative of manic depression.

He doesn't have any that I know of except him trying to quit smoking and he is my friend so i'll talk to him when I pick up some gear I left at his house and see if there is another reason besides money that he would just quit.
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