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Old 04-21-2013, 06:52 AM   #1
Simon Blackwing
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Old school death/doom(GP5, GP4, midi)

It's a lot of time I don't post on this forum so hi to everybody.
This is a piece that I wrote for my band(Columbarium) almost a year ago. The bass parts may sound overpowering and too present but I assure you that live it sounds perfect, if it bugs you just turn down it's volume a bit.
Well, yes, it's old school but I also love to put in it a bit of experimentation and dissonance to make the sound as original and "unheard" as possible.
Let me know what you think. Comment/critiques are of course accepted
I think this would be enjoyed especially by the guys who like bands like Cianide, Demilich, Timeghoul, Immolation, Incantation, early Paradise Lost, Purtenance, Demigod, etc...
Attached Files
File Type: gp4 Track 6.gp4 (37.9 KB, 54 views)
File Type: gp5 Track 6.gp5 (57.8 KB, 140 views)
File Type: mid Track 6.mid (95.0 KB, 35 views)
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Old 04-21-2013, 11:04 AM   #2
EpiExplorer
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Certainly unique, some really good moments:

-Bar 75 to 82: Good solo, epic chords, unique take on melody in death metal.
-29 to 32: Sounds discordant yet also melodic and works with the song well. Flows nicely into the next riff.
-There's a nice spectrum of technicality here, and there's lot of potential for progressive melody.

Some things to work on:

only one big thing really
-85 to the end: The main chord progession works really well for the first 3 bars, but ends on a muddle. Some clarity could help, and provide and much smoother outro. It also needs a much smoother transition at the beginning of it, as it feels hamfistedly smashed on at the last minute. I've just done a quick progression to try and explain this idea, dont have to use it at all if you dont want to :P
Attached Files
File Type: gp4 PossibleOutroIdea.gp4 (2.2 KB, 33 views)
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:26 PM   #3
Emperor's Child
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Although I like a little Death/Doom (Early Anathema, Daylight Dies, Swallow The Sun...), I can't say I'm a fan of any of the bands you listed. That said, it sounded pretty good to me and has that heavy "ugh" sound that makes Death/Doom so catching.

The only thing I will criticise at this point is that I really didn't like the outro.
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Old 05-21-2013, 02:51 AM   #4
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First thing I have to say, and this is a very big part of your song. Never use the repeat option. Always just use 8 bars for a 4 bar riff playing twice, and throw in a slight change on the second part. It makes all the difference in the world, trust me. The big difference here is that the drums should start doing something at least the second time through the first riff, and the second riff's drums should probably change up slightly the second time through as well.

A lot of people don't realize those subtle changes even if it's a huge reason on whether or not they like a song. Sometimes, that bad ass riff that just sounds super-tight with the drums doesn't need to change, and changing it would be bad, but changing a hi-hat hit to a crash and throwing in a double-snare / double-kick is detrimental to a good song. Or even half-timing them in some cases is great. Richard Christy from Death's album The Sound of Perseverance is a great example. Sure, the fact that his drums are so original sounding helps a lot, but he'll change a small little part that keeps you hooked - even if you're not listening for it.


The only thing I really have a problem with in this song is that there's too much Doom and too little Death. And parts where there might be a little Death, it comes off more Doom. But just work a little more Death into it, make it not sound so "free-flowy" (lots of riffs but no repeating riffs after the first-half to keep the listeners hooked), and fix up those solos.

Solo is crazy, all over the place, and people say it fits the music. I get why they say it.

But Slayer sounds absolutely horrible (except for like 2 songs) solo-wise when a band such as Obituary (a band that's WAY more morbid than Slayer) writes incredible solos. Cannibal Corpse is another example. A "technical" band that sounds terrible with solo's but gets absolutely annihilated by another band such as Spawn of Possession.

"Fitting the music" is never an excuse for laziness. Hope I helped and didn't look like an ass.

Note: With everything said, your solo is still leagues better than Slayer. At least you have a sense of direction and are showing potential direction towards some melodic path.
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Last edited by DragTheWaters11 : 05-21-2013 at 02:55 AM.
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Old 05-23-2013, 03:45 PM   #5
Simon Blackwing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragTheWaters11
First thing I have to say, and this is a very big part of your song. Never use the repeat option. Always just use 8 bars for a 4 bar riff playing twice, and throw in a slight change on the second part. It makes all the difference in the world, trust me. The big difference here is that the drums should start doing something at least the second time through the first riff, and the second riff's drums should probably change up slightly the second time through as well.

A lot of people don't realize those subtle changes even if it's a huge reason on whether or not they like a song. Sometimes, that bad ass riff that just sounds super-tight with the drums doesn't need to change, and changing it would be bad, but changing a hi-hat hit to a crash and throwing in a double-snare / double-kick is detrimental to a good song. Or even half-timing them in some cases is great. Richard Christy from Death's album The Sound of Perseverance is a great example. Sure, the fact that his drums are so original sounding helps a lot, but he'll change a small little part that keeps you hooked - even if you're not listening for it.


The only thing I really have a problem with in this song is that there's too much Doom and too little Death. And parts where there might be a little Death, it comes off more Doom. But just work a little more Death into it, make it not sound so "free-flowy" (lots of riffs but no repeating riffs after the first-half to keep the listeners hooked), and fix up those solos.

Solo is crazy, all over the place, and people say it fits the music. I get why they say it.

But Slayer sounds absolutely horrible (except for like 2 songs) solo-wise when a band such as Obituary (a band that's WAY more morbid than Slayer) writes incredible solos. Cannibal Corpse is another example. A "technical" band that sounds terrible with solo's but gets absolutely annihilated by another band such as Spawn of Possession.

"Fitting the music" is never an excuse for laziness. Hope I helped and didn't look like an ass.

Note: With everything said, your solo is still leagues better than Slayer. At least you have a sense of direction and are showing potential direction towards some melodic path.


Man, we probably have different tastes
I think that "The Sound of Perseverance" is the worst album Death ever made.
And about the solos. I think it's still a matter of taste, some guys like more melodic solos and some others not. Take for example Metallica, while their solos are often very melodic I think they're far worse than those made by slayer, which, like it or not, they're ok for the atmosphere of a band like Slayer.
Honestly I think one can make superb riffs but can sound like shit because it's generic. It's more about atmosphere and personal sound in my opinion. You may love Dimebag's solos. I do not, simple, to me they sound generic.
Anyway I get your point about the little changes, well, I actually do that, I often cover that with a little improvisation changes. But I prefer to write down on GP only the base version.

You don't want to sound like an ass but you're sounding like an ass. You haven't stated anything helpfull in my opinion, you have just expressed your taste and what you like or not, nothing objective.
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Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
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Last edited by Simon Blackwing : 05-24-2013 at 09:23 AM.
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