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Old 05-18-2013, 05:09 PM   #1
JazzDeath
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Upto C4C A Vivid Description of Torment - Experimental/Tech/Prog Death Metal (C4C BABY)

Hey guys, long time no see.

I finally finished this epic cluster**** and since I have some dead time on my hands and I can spend time giving crits back I thought I'd drop it here for people to check out.

This song isn't really influenced by other bands, it's moreso a personal song and a deeper exploration of my own style - Lots of notes, lots of dissonant chords, really fast and chaotic, and pretty little clean parts. I'm not sure what to compare it to or who might enjoy the style, if you can pinpoint specific influences be my guest to point them out :P.

Best way to listen is either with headphones for analytical listening or really loud with a subwoofer to really feel it .

As always, I will C4C, and the more effort you give to critiquing my piece, the more I'll give to yours!
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File Type: gp5 A Vivid Description of Torment Feb 2013.gp5 (146.0 KB, 209 views)

Last edited by JazzDeath : 05-18-2013 at 05:10 PM.
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Old 05-18-2013, 06:48 PM   #2
Emperor's Child
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That was pretty awesome, and I'll be more impressed if you can play that and record it. I like the way you used the legato slides in some section too. With regards to bands it reminds me of, the only one that comes to mind is Cynic, partly due to the fretless bass.

My only criticism is that I don't feel the name fits. The song sounds a bit circus-y in places to me, like evil clown music or something... "A Clown's Description of Torment"???
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Old 05-18-2013, 09:04 PM   #3
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Didn't you use the name of the song for s different song?
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Old 05-18-2013, 10:12 PM   #4
JazzDeath
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Nah, I just reposted it because the original one wasn't completed and was the same piece but Work in Progress and it took me a long time to work out the kinks and the general feel of the song has improved massively, I just wanted to repost it instead of put up an update to something old most people didn't hear.

As for the title... that actually kind of upsets me, I wasn't going for ridiculous or clown music at all. It's really a song about personal struggle, about being tormented by personal issues and no matter how hard or how much you try to think about it and fix the problems you never get a pleasant solution or outcome.
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Old 05-19-2013, 07:44 AM   #5
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Don't get me wrong, I love the clown music and it's not too overt here. I definitely don't think it sounds ridiculous. I'd still believe it could be about a personal struggle... just put some clowns in there .

I wouldn't worry about it. BTBAM have been getting away with clown music for quite some time now, and that's far more ridiculous.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:07 AM   #6
Life Is Brutal
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Even though this thread is a month old, I'm gonna chime in and say that this piece is really awesome, great phrasing and just really amazing in a whole bunch of aspects.
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Old 06-20-2013, 02:37 PM   #7
JazzDeath
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Thanks Dillon, I'm just glad someone appreciates the music!

By the way I read your Facebook message and I completely forgot to answer you on that, sorry I've been busy lately, I didn't mean to ignore you. I just have to think about what songs I still want to record, and what changes I need to make on the guitar parts for them to be recorded properly first.
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Old 06-20-2013, 03:00 PM   #8
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This is a tad chaotic for my tastes, but for the direction youre going for, it sounds pretty damn cool

Are the piano and harpsichord supposed to be the guitars? its hard for me to say much about it as is because im confused about it, but ill try

i really digged the parts from bars 79-86, as well as the solo on the nylon string. the bass has to be my favorite part though. if you can actually play that, then hats off to you sir :{D


im really not fond of the chorus though, like from 71-78, it seems a little unorganized

sorry i cant tell you much more, i cant really get a good grasp of the true sound unless it were on guitars. if you uploaded a different version that was actually on guitars, id be able to give you a more precise critique. in the mean time, would you mind telling me what you think of some of my posts? i would greatly appreciate it
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Old 06-20-2013, 09:35 PM   #9
JazzDeath
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Are you using Guitar Pro? The two first tracks are guitar, yes. Dunno why I had it on Harpsichord, but there are mix tables throughout the tracks that change the instrument patch between distortion, overdrive, acoustic guitar, piano, and clean guitars.

If you're using another program than Guitar Pro to open the files you might have issues with instrument patches not loading properly or it remaining on harpsichord/piano instead of switching, but the main tracks (1 and 2) are meant to switch between distortion and clean throughout the song, then piano for the piano solo at the end.

Some people when using tux guitar or other programs that read GP5 files, but aren't actually GP5, have issues with the patches not switching, or the instruments/tunings being off, or a bunch of other bugs; I wouldn't recommend listening to it in those programs.

What about the chorus do you find sounds unorganized? The main idea/melodies, the harmonies, the way the instruments synch together, the fadeout into the other riff?

But of course, I'd be glad to check out some of your stuff and give some input.
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Old 06-21-2013, 10:08 PM   #10
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More awesome then I could've known.
The beginning seems a bit meandering without much of a discernible pattern, but then the distortion and fretless bass come in.. and Huzzah! Take THAT you GAYLORD! It immediately brings Augury to mind, but is definitely not a copy of their style either.
Pretty much the rest of the song from that point is furiously crazy which I expected. But it also really catches the ear with well constructed riffs and dynamic changes, which I didn't expect. So good jobs.
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Old 06-23-2013, 04:55 PM   #11
pAWNlol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JazzDeath
Are you using Guitar Pro? The two first tracks are guitar, yes. Dunno why I had it on Harpsichord, but there are mix tables throughout the tracks that change the instrument patch between distortion, overdrive, acoustic guitar, piano, and clean guitars.

If you're using another program than Guitar Pro to open the files you might have issues with instrument patches not loading properly or it remaining on harpsichord/piano instead of switching, but the main tracks (1 and 2) are meant to switch between distortion and clean throughout the song, then piano for the piano solo at the end.

Some people when using tux guitar or other programs that read GP5 files, but aren't actually GP5, have issues with the patches not switching, or the instruments/tunings being off, or a bunch of other bugs; I wouldn't recommend listening to it in those programs.

What about the chorus do you find sounds unorganized? The main idea/melodies, the harmonies, the way the instruments synch together, the fadeout into the other riff?

But of course, I'd be glad to check out some of your stuff and give some input.


yeah, i dont use GP5, i use tuxguitar, so i figured i would have that issue.]

as for the chorus, i cant quite put my finger on it. maybe its just my personal tastes. but if you could just tell me what parts it switches to and from distortion guitar, then ill give it another look man
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:16 AM   #12
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Woah. If you can actually play this, you're a god amongst men.
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