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Old 06-22-2013, 10:50 PM   #1
IrishBlues15
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Can someone comment on these lyrics? ''Untitled'' Two sets

They aren't finished, but its my first time attempting lyrics.
Subject matter is fairly obvious and its blues based I only got three verses

Underneath the bridge,Where the sun donít shine
I said under that bridge where the sun never shines
Iíll be waiting,Waiting for this trouble to blow

My woman said she feel like crying
My woman said she feel like crying
I read that letter, It read she dying-in

The ground was cold,The night was dark
The ground is cold ,The night is dark
I think its time, Time to hide in the park
Under that old bridge

Last edited by IrishBlues15 : 06-23-2013 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 06-22-2013, 11:02 PM   #2
IrishBlues15
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Also these, A more rockin' song with no chorus

Going around the corner,Around the bend
To find a road that I donít want to end.
Stick on the radio,Stick on the tune
I gotta keep going till tomorrow afternoon

Hey!

Driving down the highway, Killing time
Chewing up the road, this car its all all mine
Mowing over concrete, throwing down a flow
Gotta make sure I make it to the showwww

(12 bar solo)

Running from the devil,Ainít an easy game
Zooming from the ground, Nothing could short side his game
Killing from the air,Killing from the sky
He gonna pull me back, ĎNí watch me die

Knowing this now,I canít think twice
Gotta shoot up my motor,Gotta roll the dice
Pick up these blues,Throw Ďem out the window
Scrape up my life,live it in limbo



(More solo)
Going around the corner, ĎRound the bend
Catch a road that I donít want to end
Throw on the radio,Flare up a tune
Gotta keep running after tomorrow afternoon

Last edited by IrishBlues15 : 06-23-2013 at 01:23 PM.
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:23 PM   #3
IrishBlues15
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Could somebody please give me some insight on these?
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:48 PM   #4
AngryGoldfish
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Welcome to the forum. I understand that you're anxious to hear the thoughts of the users here, but please be mindful of the rules. There is no bumping of threads allowed, one piece per thread, and the title should be the title of the song, poem or story, or should be 'Untitled' if you do not have a title. If you would like a critique on your work, remember to offer full, informative reviews of other people's work and kindly ask for a return. Thanks.
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:52 PM   #5
IrishBlues15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryGoldfish
Welcome to the forum. I understand that you're anxious to hear the thoughts of the users here, but please be mindful of the rules. There is no bumping of threads allowed, one piece per thread, and the title should be the title of the song, poem or story, or should be 'Untitled' if you do not have a title. If you would like a critique on your work, remember to offer full, informative reviews of other people's work and kindly ask for a return. Thanks.


Oh right sorry about that, Its just that they are my first set of lyrics.
I will defiantly roam around a bit and offer my opinion on others lyrics
Thank you by the way.
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