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Old 08-07-2013, 09:20 PM   #1
QuantumInfinity
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Join Date: Jun 2012
More soft-ish Metal (C4C)

Spicing up my "songs-I-will-never-actually-really-finish" library and going forth with my quest to combine power and gothic metal as well as some melodeath here and there (not particularly in this one, though...), I decided to tackle the more mid-tempoish stuff/regions again and... well, this is what came out off the last 2 days or so.

Nothing is yet final and I feel like there's something missing but I can't quite put my finger on the what (aside from lyrics and vocals, duh).

Fire away and leave a link for C4C if ya feel like it!
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 Fading Visions.gp5 (121.2 KB, 72 views)
File Type: mid Fading Visions.mid (85.6 KB, 10 views)
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Old 08-08-2013, 04:31 AM   #2
Kafiolet
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Okay well, I'll try to be very honest

To me, the intro really lacks some originality. I would heavily recommend, if you want to keep it, to add some violin melody or something that would grab the listener's attention, otherwise it becomes quite boring after the 4th bar :/
The verse is really simple but with some vocals on it it can sound good so I won't really criticize it.
The 2d pre-chorus is the thing that made me start thinking that your composition is actually good. The violin melody and the drum line are really cool ! (I think I would have used it for the chorus, not for a pre-chorus :P)

Anyway, then I really enjoyed your interlude, and the two solos, you really made them well, I am impressed ! (but I hope the 113th bar transition will be edited :P)
Then the end of the song is ok, even if the chorus could be epicier to me but anyway.

Overall I found your composition very interesting, but it definitely lacks variety in its chords (always the same ones), and in the intro. Also sometimes the drums transitions could be more developped but that is really not a big deal. Apart from this, I enjoyed it !

(Sorry for the tough words sometimes, my english skills are not that good...)
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Old 08-09-2013, 03:00 PM   #3
pAWNlol
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a lot of this is painfully basic man. its also way too repetitive (intro, verse, interlude). the chorus was basic, though i enjoyed the choir ah's and the violin. i enjoyed the interlude, and the whole recorder thing sounds pretty damn cool in the background, but even that was repeated too much

guitar solo needs a lot of work, and the bend thing in the beginning sounds really bad, sorry to say it. though the synth solo needed a bit of work, it was much better than the guitar solo

after that we have the pre-chorus, chorus, and then to end it, the chorus with a key change. that pre-chorus riff sounds pretty cool, and is played just long enough, but then you know how i feel about the chorus

all in all, its not a bad song. it has potential, so definitely dont throw it away! but it will need a lot of work before i would finalize it

Last edited by pAWNlol : 08-09-2013 at 03:02 PM.
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:03 PM   #4
QuantumInfinity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafiolet
Okay well, I'll try to be very honest

To me, the intro really lacks some originality. I would heavily recommend, if you want to keep it, to add some violin melody or something that would grab the listener's attention, otherwise it becomes quite boring after the 4th bar :/
The verse is really simple but with some vocals on it it can sound good so I won't really criticize it.
The 2d pre-chorus is the thing that made me start thinking that your composition is actually good. The violin melody and the drum line are really cool ! (I think I would have used it for the chorus, not for a pre-chorus :P)


I personally like the chorus to be relatively simple and feature some catchy vocal line or something along those lines as like somewhat of the focal-point of the song, that's why i try to keep it pretty straightforward (especially in a simple song like this) ^^
And yeah, the intro isn't done yet, I'm waiting for the "right" idea to cross my mind for that and then I'ma update this here :p

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafiolet
Anyway, then I really enjoyed your interlude, and the two solos, you really made them well, I am impressed ! (but I hope the 113th bar transition will be edited :P)
Then the end of the song is ok, even if the chorus could be epicier to me but anyway.


Hmm, about the downtime thingy and silence after that part @ around bar 113: I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to stuff like that, I imagined like the lights turning out and maybe some like a reverse cymbal crushing the silence out of nowhere at that time *cough* ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafiolet
Overall I found your composition very interesting, but it definitely lacks variety in its chords (always the same ones), and in the intro. Also sometimes the drums transitions could be more developped but that is really not a big deal. Apart from this, I enjoyed it !

(Sorry for the tough words sometimes, my english skills are not that good...)


That's good to hear, thank you, sir
... My drummer friend is an asshole, though, and is too lazy to help me with the drums Q_Q

Quote:
Originally Posted by pAWNlol
a lot of this is painfully basic man. its also way too repetitive (intro, verse, interlude). the chorus was basic, though i enjoyed the choir ah's and the violin. i enjoyed the interlude, and the whole recorder thing sounds pretty damn cool in the background, but even that was repeated too much


It's probably preference but I don't really like it, if there's too much "complicated" stuff going on in a song - that and I suck at guitar playing and I write stuff I can play soooo... Also (damn, this sounds way too much like I'm trying to defend the song, I hope this doesn't come across wrong o.o) I feel like the planned vocals negate a lot of the "basic" or simple nature of the song.
I will add some different tail ends to the recorder melody though, that is certainly on my to-do-list, yeah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pAWNlol
guitar solo needs a lot of work, and the bend thing in the beginning sounds really bad, sorry to say it. though the synth solo needed a bit of work, it was much better than the guitar solo


Yeah, I dunno, I just suck at guitar Kinda only use the tab as a "play something that remotely follows this kind of pattern but feel free to improvise as much as you want" kind of thing, anyway ^_^

Quote:
Originally Posted by pAWNlol
all in all, its not a bad song. it has potential, so definitely dont throw it away! but it will need a lot of work before i would finalize it


I'll 100% agree with you on that and thanks for the crit :>
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