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Old 08-13-2013, 05:12 AM   #1
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Wait (Psychedelic Rock)

These are my first psychedelic rock lyrics. I've tried forming lyrics before, but I put some time into it and came up with this at about 3 AM when I couldn't sleep. Advice would be greatly appreciated!

To Roam - Lyrics (About 3 minutes, 45 seconds.)

Verse 1;
Wait just one more moment, please.
Before you go, there's something you must see.
And if you'd like from time to time,
that is-
if you would listen to my plea.
You can revisit anytime, anywhere.
Just close your eyes and count; "1, 2, 3, 4..."

Welcome to this land, look and see-
does what you see satisfy your needs?
Now go-
this is all I'd like to know.

Breathe in the air, it's fine and clean-
The sun is shining through the trees.
Now go-
This land is yours... to roam!


Verse 2;

In a world of words and rhyme,
How does one simply find the time?
Is it buried... in your mind?
It is your brain, not mine.
I'm just here keeping time- "1, 2, 3, 4..."


A wheel of color rolling free,
amidst the chaos and catastrophe.
I know-
You're seeing things that didn't show.

Water seeps through a purple creek,
Grass is growing beneath your feet.
I know-
Life is beautiful when let flow!


Outro Verse;

While upon the seas of green,
along with other things you've seen.

You've learned something new.
Your mind is flowing through.


To roam the mind, is to be free-
inspiration leaks through the seams.
Let's go-
To a place we've never been before!

You're thinking strong.
See how far you've gone!
Let's go-
Into our minds, to roam!


There it is! Please give me your thoughts and advice.

Last edited by BeatlesFan789 : 08-14-2013 at 04:14 AM. Reason: Song title/minor lyric change.
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Old 08-13-2013, 11:01 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2011
i think you need stronger images in the verses. the choruses are strong though. i dig the "wheel of color" motif. i like the verse and chorus structure. it may be that it would be stronger if you put instruments to this and post a link. and i like psychedelic rock a lot so if you complete this song please post to the board.
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Old 08-13-2013, 11:40 PM   #3
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Thanks for the advice! To be honest, I made the verses not as vivid as the choruses because the verses are there to serve the purpose of telling you how to get to this "world." I will try to make them stronger, though.
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