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Old 09-20-2013, 08:43 PM   #1
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
 
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Upto Calculations of the Clockwork Core (WIP, C4C - Fans of Obscura/Cynic/Gorod)

Hi.

I've been writing this piece for a long time and I'm unsure of whether or not it pleases me or will be appealing for people to listen to. It's rather complex and I would like some external feedback to see if people "get it" or not....

The concept of the song is to represent a construct, an artificial intelligence born in absolute rationality, and its struggle to calculate and understand the reasoning and logic behind human beings and their irrational emotional responses.

I'd be glad to C4C anyone, I got plenty of time to write detailed critiques of anyone's work.
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File Type: gp5 Calculations of the Clockwork Corec.gp5 (93.5 KB, 148 views)
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Old 09-20-2013, 08:45 PM   #2
JazzDeath
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As always I suggest a good pair of headphones, especially for this piece - some of the counterpoint sections are rather complex and it helps!
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Old 09-20-2013, 10:24 PM   #3
pAWNlol
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can you actually play all this on guitar?
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Old 09-20-2013, 11:51 PM   #4
JazzDeath
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Some of it, but not all of it! But I'm primarily a drummer; the songs I write are meant for studio one day and not so much for live reproduction, which seems to bother some people, but for me it's just the music that comes naturally.
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Old 09-21-2013, 12:06 AM   #5
Craziork
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It was impressive even on the second listening!(and the third...) Man you're talented If you have any other work that you'd like to show don't hesitate!
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Old 09-21-2013, 12:41 AM   #6
SameOld
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This was great, man. I felt the name of the piece fit the music.
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:49 AM   #7
amonamarthmetal
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Shit. How? Just how?

Only complaint I have is the intro really. The song just starts off too sudden I guess. There's no build up.
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Old 09-21-2013, 02:07 AM   #8
JazzDeath
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Well thank you Craziork, I'm glad you enjoy what I have up to now.
As for other work I've been posting stuff here for a while, not all my work is here but if you're really interested here's a link to the rest of the stuff I've presented to these forums -

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...archid=12122865

My favorites in my new stuff are Degraded Aesthetics and A Vivid Description of Torment, in my old stuff, Sensory Overload and Withdrawing the Substance.

And thanks Same Old, I like developing a musical idea, listening back to it a few times to dig into how it makes me feel or what it conveys to me as a mood and then develop thematically from there, I'm glad it worked out for this particular piece.


amon, thanks for listening to another one of my pieces, I always appreciate it. Wish I could tell you how, I guess after 8 years of writing shit on a computer some of it ends up sounding decent .

Your complaint resonates with me as something I feel is off with the piece. I originally had the backing guitar repeat twice, in distortion guitar, then I added the lead, then I removed one repeat and made it fade in, and I still can't figure out for the life of me how I want to work the beggining of the piece... do you have any ideas? Is the section itself solid or does it sound off to your ear? Do you think it needs modifying or just needs something beforehand to bring into that section and lead better?

Thanks again everyone.
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Old 09-21-2013, 02:20 AM   #9
amonamarthmetal
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I couldn't tell you how to write it without possibly screwing it up. The way it is now, it sounds like it is the middle of the song. It sounds fine, doesn't sound like an intro though.
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Last edited by amonamarthmetal : 09-21-2013 at 02:21 AM.
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:41 AM   #10
HaydenHohns
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I share the awe in your compositional abilities that others here have. Obviously it isn't done but I could see this going into an Old School Death/Doom Metal (Morbid Angel, Autopsy, Obituary etc) style using similar counterpoint motifs you used. Maybe reduce the technicality but build it back up into pure insanity for a final climax. I haven't really got much to say that hasn't already said. Although as an idea for the intro, maybe start off with a lone classical guitar that plays a sonata like piece by itself using similar ideas heard later in the piece. Then fade the other instruments in. Just an idea.
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Old 09-21-2013, 05:03 AM   #11
EpiExplorer
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Pretty awesome, got some Spawn of Possession vibes too, really good stuff.
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